We attended a wedding 2 weeks before our own, of a close friend of DH's. We gave them a substantial gift, a gift befitting a good friend. The wedding was huge, expensive, over the top...and both the bride and groom are employed and own a home.
Our wedding was, like I mentioned, 2 weeks later. They gave us a check, matching our gift. When we got back from the honeymoon, we recieved the check back in the mail, it had bounced. We were charged $10 for the bounced check fee, and told his friend about it (as they were going to be charged also). He felt horrible, and said he'd replace the check, no explanation was expected or needed. It's now over a month later, and they still have not replaced the check, knowing that we can not redeposit it because it's not from the same bank.
Do we mention it again?
Sonicstef
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Re: Dilemma...what would you do?
How close are you to this couple?
If you are very close and you are 100% sure its an oversight, maybe you can make a joke to remind them.
But if you are not as close and/or you think its a possibility that its not an oversight, I would probably say nothing and see what happens.
Meg9-20-02
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Re: Dilemma...what would you do?
I would probably not say anything -
Misty
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Re: Dilemma...what would you do?
DH is pretty close with him. They have been friends a long time. I guess I am just really ****ed off because I think this is pretty low class, seeing as we were able to give them a gift of that size 2 weeks before our own wedding, and they can't be bothered to replace a bounced check.
Meg9-20-02
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Re: Dilemma...what would you do?
I definitely think what they are doing is totally lame. We had a few bounced checks at our wedding but this is different - You just gave them that same amount of money! Where did it go?! I just don't know if it is even possible to delicately bring up something like this -
We had a bounced check (from identity theft at Home Depot!!) and he called right away and told me he would send a certified check...and he did right away (I told him that I wasn't charged anything...b/c I felt bad what he was going through)
but maybe you could send a TY...even if its not with a picture...send it to them thanking them for spending the day with them...yada yada yada and hopefully they will realize....it is a little hectic being a newlywed...
after that I would have a mutual friend maybe bring it up nonchalantly? although thats touchy sinc ethey bounced a check and thats embarrassing enough...
michele31
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Re: Dilemma...what would you do?
if they couldn't give such a large gift, for whatever reason, they shouldn't have. and to promise to send a replacement and then not send it is very bad form but i wouldn't mention it again.
HeatherandNick
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Re: Dilemma...what would you do?
I personally would stay mum about it and hope for the best
Diane
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Re: Dilemma...what would you do?
that is a tough choice. If you are very close that you feel comfortable mentioning it, then go for it. If not...I would probably stick it out. Good Luck
Marnles
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Re: Dilemma...what would you do?
Its really a tough call....I probably wouldn't say anything.
I know you want to (we didn't receive anything from a close friend - not even a card, which hurt the most - still haven't seen her since the wedding)...give it a little more time. Sometimes we get caught up in life, and while you're sitting there stewing about it, it may just have slipped your friend's mind?
Hopefully you will receive something shortly and all will be well again...if not, then the next time you see them, maybe they will remember and say something.
shamma
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Re: Dilemma...what would you do?
Let your hubby call and ask them when they will be mailing the replacement money order. Or when you can pick up the cash This is how I would handle it, but I know we got a bounced check and I called my GF up and told her and she sent me a replacement, she knew the check had bounced b/c she got charged, she replaced it and gave me extra to cover the cost. If you are friends you should be able to say these things to each other.
PS my GF says ask them if it got lost in the mail. Or do it in a joke.
I would not be the least bit uncomfortable doing this, would you like me to call for you.
Cindy
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Re: Dilemma...what would you do?
I agree with what Stef said. If it a very close friend and you believe it is an honest mistake, I would say something. If you are not super close, I would let it go. We just got two wedding gifts ten months after our wedding from a few guests. It is hard to say.
februarybride
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Re: Dilemma...what would you do?
If this happened to me, I probably wouldn't say anything. Not because I wouldn't want to but I just wouldn't know how and it would make me feel uncomfortable. I think if you feel comfortable and can find a way to mention it, go for it.
Kel
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Re: Dilemma...what would you do?
No doubt this situation is weird and uncomfortable, but I don't think it would be a good idea to mention it again to them .. you've already alerted them to the problem .. the money was intended to be a gift .. and asking them again for the gift just doesn't seem right .. not that their rubber check was okay .. but asking, then asking again just doesn't seem the right road to go, in my opinion.
One alternative might be to mail the bad check back to them .. so they have it back in their possession .. and maybe you could include a simple note saying something like, 'We thought it best that you have this back.' and not go beyond that. If I had a check I wrote bounce, I'd want it back to destroy it and to make sure it's not floating around somewhere.
Also, I thought you had 2 chances to try depositing a check??? I once worked for someone who bounced my checks very regularly .. but we both had the same bank .. so the bank was always able to alert me before trying to cash it .. so we all avoided fees .. however, I thought I heard along the lines somewhere, that you could deposit a check a second time, and if that time it bounced, the person who wrote the check could get into trouble for check fraud, if the person trying to cash the check wanted the bank to go after the person who wrote the check.
Claud2001
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Re: Dilemma...what would you do?
This same thing happened to me, with one of my college roommates. I believe it to be in very poor taste to bring it up EVER again - in jest or otherwise.
jennbaby
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Re: Dilemma...what would you do?
My DH's best friend's mom's checked bounced on us. My DH's friend told us to redeposit & it bounced again!
Either time we never said anything. The 1st time, they brought it to our attention about redepositing.
