Do you and DH fight about money???

Original post by Just Cindy

Dec 07, 2009 09:08 AM

We had an argument and I was pissed at DH this weekend because we were discussing my finances. I make a decent living but I spend way too much and thus dont save. DH is a saver. He wants to buy a house and he wants me to save so that I can contribute to the down payment. I know that I should save but its soooo hard. He tells me I should write down what I spend the money on but I get scared cause I am gonna see it and not like it. I really want to change but its soo hard. I think I need to put myself on an allowance and just keep the money away. Its so silly that I am an adult and I cant handle money. I feel bad cause DH just wants whats best for us and I am selfish and can only think of myself

MirabellaNYC Posted: Dec 08, 2009 07:23 AM

Re: Do you and DH fight about money???

Posted by PoppedInASnap

nope- dh is in charge of everything so i no longer argue about anything lol

Same here! We had numerous 'money meetings' and finally came up with a game plan that he's the chief financial officer in our marriage...

Just Cindy Posted: Dec 08, 2009 07:33 AM

Re: Do you and DH fight about money???

I am going to talk to DH tonight about this cause I need def help cause I know he asked me if I wanted him to take control but me being a baby I said I dont need any help but I think I do!!!

ddnsp618 Posted: Dec 08, 2009 07:45 AM

Re: Do you and DH fight about money???

i used to spend like crazy on things i can't remember. then i stopped carrying my credit cards, and i only use my debit. we don't keep a lot of money in our checking, just enough to cover our bills, the rest goes into a savings account, therefore, it is impossible to overspend. i know everyone says its good to keep a cc in your wallet for 'emergencies,' but i was finding that an 'emergency' was a coach bag, or new clothes. so when are you really going to encounter an 'emergency' that you need to spend money immediately

i handle the money in our family and its all the same, so we both get a weekly allowance (and its small!) and thats it.

good luck, we used to fight abt money alot, but unfortunelty it was for other reasons.

and DH is right, start writing EVERYTHING down, including that run to starbucks or 7-11

MirabellaNYC Posted: Dec 08, 2009 08:11 AM

Re: Do you and DH fight about money???

Posted by Just Cindy

I am going to talk to DH tonight about this cause I need def help cause I know he asked me if I wanted him to take control but me being a baby I said I dont need any help but I think I do!!!

One thing that has worked for me and DH is that every month we look at eachother's bills. Even though it's scary it keeps us honest.
When we were on our HM we decided to put all of our paychecks into a joint checking and savings. Some people may disagree with this, but truly it keeps the peace and it keeps us honest with eachother over money...DH pays all the bills with OUR money.

Like the other girls, we each have a weekly allowance of cash and that's it.

BUT...if I want to make a bigger purchase I let him know and it's fine...because we're paying off our cards and saving, it's fine to splurge here and there.

Bottom line is that we have friends that are over their heads in cc bills and .we are doing everything NOW to ensure a solid financial future.

Good luck!

julesrbf Posted: Dec 08, 2009 08:33 AM

Re: Do you and DH fight about money???

Since I started working full-time after college, I arrange for a certain amount of money to be automatically taken out of my checking account and into my savings every month on the same day. In my mind it's like I am paying a bill that day so I never really 'have' that money. I make a lot more now than I did 4 years ago so that amount has increased but it has always allowed me to have my own personal savings. To me it's a simple way to save without even 'realizing' it.

HTH!

twoifbysea Posted: Dec 08, 2009 08:44 AM

Re: Do you and DH fight about money???

DH is VP of financial reporting and budgeting both professionally as well as in our marriage!

But we discuss everything, and usually chat once a week about where we are with our savings, bills, etc., and are working on a more long-term plan on buying the house, etc.

One thing that we got into a tiff about was Christmas. We have no kids (obv) but he has 11 nieces and nephews, and has spend sooooo much on them for Christmas gifts in the past. I just don't think that we are in a position to be spending $1000's on them, so I'm trying to talk him in to setting a limit per kid.

FuTuRe MrS MaZz Posted: Dec 08, 2009 09:31 AM

Re: Do you and DH fight about money???

Ya know, how to save/put away for a rainy day/cut down on debt is def something that should have been taught to us in schools

My DH seems to think we have unlimited funds... I on the other hand am the complete thrifty saver... Altho I give in to him at times.... Like the POS couch I believe we purchased yesterday for $1600 He really wanted it, I gave in, but said the picking of a bedroom set is ALL ME... Its all about some give and take...

On that note, I totally think you should write down your spending... just to bring it to light for yourself... you;d be surprised at how much you can spend on just coffee and lunch every week... not to mention the big ticket items...

FinallyMrsB18 Posted: Dec 08, 2009 09:34 AM

Re: Do you and DH fight about money???

Sometimes not really. It is more DH thinking we have more money then we do, and me thinking we have less than we do. I think he spends money on little things, and doesn't think they add up. Well they do. That makes me mad. Also I think he spends too much in general.

Just Cindy Posted: Dec 08, 2009 09:44 AM

Re: Do you and DH fight about money???

I wish they would teach savings in school...I know my parents didnt teach me and thats the problem...they bought what they wanted and probably were in debt and I didnt know it... Its those little things that really catch up and this week I brought my breakfast and lunch to work so no going out paying for it...also during lunch I wont just go 'window shopping' cause I tend to buy things like that...also no internet shopping cause thats too easy to use a credit card and then rack up bills that way.

coldasice217 Posted: Dec 08, 2009 11:10 AM

Re: Do you and DH fight about money???

Both DH and I are RIDICULOUS savers, so all along we've never really argued. We didn't live together or pool finances prior, but we knew each others balances and we knew where we stood financially going in. He makes a pretty decent living, and I don't at all....but I make up for it in what I'm able to save. So we know that he's paying rent, I'm paying for groceries and home items and the last few months of my car payments, and we're each paying for our own gas and any clothes, shoes, or toys we might want. Of course, my idea of a toy is like a 10 dollar book or makeup, and his idea of a toy is a 250 dollar camera lens or gaming system.... but we're really good with our money so we're not going to live cheaply since we're so frugal with food and groceries. But I AM making DH play sugar daddy for a while and buy me a new wardrobe, but he's willing to do that because it makes him upset that I've dressed the way I have for the past few years to save and he wants me to have nicer things...can't argue with that! Of course things are very new and we haven't had an opportunity to fight yet, but since we're both really similar in our saving and spending habits (with the odd exception here or there) I think we'll be OK.

AugustBridein09 Posted: Dec 08, 2009 11:47 AM

Re: Do you and DH fight about money???

No we don't fight over money, DH & I are very similar in our spending habits. My weakness is clothes and shoes. DH's weakness is going out to dinners and nice places in the city. We know that and we are both cool with it. We spend a little, save a little, and pretty much set goals together that we both want to achieve. Like vacation spending and money for our multiple weekly dates.

MrsCM Posted: Dec 10, 2009 07:39 AM

Re: Do you and DH fight about money???

We don't fight about money but I handle money because DH isn't great with it. He forgets to pay things, never makes deposits, loses cash, etc. Occasionally I say 'hey dude u need to watch how much you're spending lately on ____' but that's the extent on it. His big vice is dining out so I gave us a budget for that this month which we went over last week. I don't even like eating out, it makes me fatter.

Just Cindy Posted: Dec 10, 2009 07:53 AM

Re: Do you and DH fight about money???

We talked about the issues and decided that DH will be the CFO and will handle the money for us. I fell better that we wont fight about it anymore and we will be on our way to saving a lot more and putting down the 20% for our new home in a couple of yrs.