We had an argument and I was pissed at DH this weekend because we were discussing my finances. I make a decent living but I spend way too much and thus dont save. DH is a saver. He wants to buy a house and he wants me to save so that I can contribute to the down payment. I know that I should save but its soooo hard. He tells me I should write down what I spend the money on but I get scared cause I am gonna see it and not like it. I really want to change but its soo hard. I think I need to put myself on an allowance and just keep the money away. Its so silly that I am an adult and I cant handle money. I feel bad cause DH just wants whats best for us and I am selfish and can only think of myself
KittyGags
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Re: Do you and DH fight about money???
Sorry that you guys had this fight. We have a house already so we don't really have fights about the money part of it....we have designated bills that we each pay every month and that makes it easier. If DH has something he needs other money for he'll ask me to cover LIPA or the car payment that month and its fine.
xosweetiexo
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Re: Do you and DH fight about money???
I have always been a saver and DH was a spender. He always wanted the best of the best! It would annoy me because we would have been able to save so much more money.... but since he spent his money on everything he really didnt have anything to save. He would splurge on himself and others (ex: he got his mother a computer for Christmas- stuff like that).
Now that we've been married he has been getting better with the spending because he knows that we are trying to save up for a house.
I wouldnt get mad at your DH, but I would see it as him worrying about your future and wanting a house for you guys to live in
Just Cindy
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Re: Do you and DH fight about money???
Yea I want to get better...I just have to make that commitment to myself and DH cause I know he only wants the best for me. I know I was pissed but it was a deflection really cause I was mad that he was calling me out and I had no reason as to why I was not spending and I couldnt account for where my money went.
KittyGags
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Re: Do you and DH fight about money???
Posted by Just Cindy
Yea I want to get better...I just have to make that commitment to myself and DH cause I know he only wants the best for me. I know I was pissed but it was a deflection really cause I was mad that he was calling me out and I had no reason as to why I was not spending and I couldnt account for where my money went.
One thing that really makes me save is I take 'X' out of my check every 2 weeks and try to stretch it until I get paid again. Then the balance ends up saved. I've always done this, its what my parents did and it worked for them. You just have to be careful about what you spend on.
For instance, I spent $8 on a thermos...and now I bring coffee every day which amounts to $25 saved a week-$1,300 a YEAR!
Look at your cell phone plan, do you use all your minutes? See if you can drop your plan a little...
And then its the lunching, shopping, etc. Try to bring lunch 1-2X a week, if you work in the city, thats $20 saved. And then limit yourself to 1-2 new items a month that must be under $100.
There ya go!
Just Cindy
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Re: Do you and DH fight about money???
Def not buying lunch and breakfast will save me money. I tend to also jsut buy things with credit cards and it makes it too eay to spend. I am working on what my monthly expenses are and then anything more than that will go to savings. I stopped buying clothes so at least there is that cost that has stopped but now I am on a house kick where I buy little things for the house here and there and that needs to stop.
alli3131
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Re: Do you and DH fight about money???
I used to always live paycheck to paycheck. Being with DH has made me better with my finances and also the fact that I dont paid on a regular basis (I sometimes go months).
I think if you guys are trying to save for a house then you really have to make an effort to save. Start by cutting one thing out that you do and put that money away. It adds up quicker than you think. I also opened an ING acct to put money in cause its not as easy to get to.
LadyDuda81509
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Re: Do you and DH fight about money???
we dont really fight about it! DH is not very good with money! My mom beat into my head at an early age how to be good with money save a little! and altho my credit card not so low at the moment im wayyyy better and bills and fiances that DH is! so we dont fight about it really, but DH gets very defensive when i ask him to transfer his weeking amount into our checking account! he would rather be completely broke one pay period than just transfer the money little at a time every week! It drives me bonkers! im always like 'babe did you transfer the money? hes like 'i will relax!!' i will relax when the money is in the account!!
PoppedInASnap
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Re: Do you and DH fight about money???
nope- dh is in charge of everything so i no longer argue about anything lol
Just Cindy
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Re: Do you and DH fight about money???
Well the one thing DH taught me is to pay off my credit cards in full each month so I never have a balance but my bills are high and no savings as a result.
I dont know if I want to resign myself to DH just taking all my money and putting me on an allowance cause I want to do it for myself but it would make my life easier and there wouldnt be any fights.
MLAngelo
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Re: Do you and DH fight about money???
While I am subbing unoften only cover groceries. But we agree anything I make above groceries half is mine to do what I want with it and half goes into our joint for house projects. We don't fight about money at all, but I feel guilty that I am not really helping us.
las1
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Re: Do you and DH fight about money???
Yes and you are not alone. I hope things work out.
Summertimegal424
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Re: Do you and DH fight about money???
sorry you are going through this
Tomlaur0808
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Re: Do you and DH fight about money???
We do a lot - but I think it's more b/c he feels like he footing the bill for most everything since I am only collecting unemployment atm & that's NOT much. It ***** too b/c Im constantly getting 'reminded' to turn off the lights & keep the heat down....
It's tough - plus this is all very new where we are combining monies so I think we're still going through as adjustment period (I HOPE )
Hope things work out for you guys, but dont worry there are quite a few of us in the figthing about money boat!
MoochsWifey
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Re: Do you and DH fight about money???
We don't really fight about money. We've lived together for over 6 years and since the moment we moved in together everything either one of has had has always been ours. Neither one of us is really the 'spender' or the 'saver'. I think we each have our moments. Lately I've been the more frugal one while in the past DH has been the one telling me we could do without this or that extra.
MrsDtoBe09
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Re: Do you and DH fight about money???
Sorry you're going through this...we fight occasionally but it's always my fault...I spend way more money and then yell about us not saving
tinadansr
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Re: Do you and DH fight about money???
I'm not bringing in a paycheck yet but I totally understand what you mean especially with all the little things I want to buy for the new house.
But like Jenny DH is in charge of the cash and that helps alot! I get allowance and I'm not ashamed to say it!!
VickiR510
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Re: Do you and DH fight about money???
We never fight over money. We agree about allof that. So in this case i think Your DH is right Cindy. Its so much more important to own something that will appreciate rather then something quick & probably not necessary. Ok my sugeestion is every pay check u give what u can to DH or in a savings account u cant touch or try to save & open CD's or a roth ira every year. But i have a feeling u cant save for that long without touching it. So i say give it to DH to save for u every paycheck. Best of luck. Cindy it really is important to save not only for a home but for your future & retirement.
flairforfashion
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Re: Do you and DH fight about money???
Ah, I remember those days. Fighting about finances. Luckily for us, this was ironed out while we were engaged.
DH is a spender. I am the saver. So, we knew that once we were married, he would give me his paycheck and I would budget out the money. That's what we have been doing since we got married.
Not everyone will do what we do but I am sure there is some kind of plan you two can work out to make sure you both get to saving. Good luck!
Just Cindy
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Re: Do you and DH fight about money???
I am going to try and do it myself and if not my paychecks will go to DH direct since he is better at managing finances than I could ever be. I am so glad I have DH!!!
