Do you get along with SIL/BIL?

Original post by kbeana24

Sep 18, 2005 11:38 PM

I have tried countless times to form some kind of relationship with SIL. She has made it very obvious that she is unwilling to even be friendly towards me. At first I thought if I gave her time to accept that I didnt 'steal' her brother away, but that I wanted to be friendly with her too, that she would be come around. After 3 years, and after this weekend where she was openly rude to me in front of her parents (my inlaws), I am done. I will be courteous to her but thats it. Im done trying to include her in things, done offering her help for her own wedding, Im done.

Jan05Bride Posted: Sep 20, 2005 01:53 PM

Re: Do you get along with SIL/BIL?

DH has a brother. I adore my BIL, SIL and 2 nephews. We all get along wonderfully and enjoy each other's company. We see each other pretty often too (at least every 2 weeks).

I have a brother. DH gets along with him and I get along with my brothers girlfriend. They are a bit more flighty and artsy then us, but we enjoys dinners and such together.

My brother and my BIL went to HS together so they get along also, as do my parents and DH's mom.

It's nice that we can all get together without any tension.

Kelly9904 Posted: Sep 20, 2005 03:57 PM

Re: Do you get along with SIL/BIL?

I have 3 SILs and 2 BILs. THe only one I dont get along with is ironically the one I have known the longest and is married into my family. I get along great with DHs brothers and their wives and one of them is 16+ years older than me. Yet the one I have known almost 11 years and is closest in age to me (6 years older) is the only one who I really have almost no relationship with. And although I am not perfect I know that this is more her doing than mine. As my brother once said to her, it would have been so easy with me, I ALWAYS wanted a big sister and as a kid (I am 12 years younger than my brother) I was so close to all his girlfriends, even his previous fiancee. The way I figure it, she has a brother, sister, mother and father, all she needed was the husband, unfortantely she has to deal with the rest of us as part of the package!

From my experience I would say dont loose sleep over it. Sometimes you just cant break down those walls! My SIL isnt OPENLY rude but knowing her for 11 years I am much more in tune to what she does now. I will admit I no longer even try to be friends with her. I am nice to her at family functions but honestly we dont talk otherwise. I love my niece and nephew and would move mountains for them but as for their mom well thats another story.

Good Luck, I know it can be a tough thing but sometimes you have to accept what you cannot change.

cloddy Posted: Sep 20, 2005 06:14 PM

Re: Do you get along with SIL/BIL?

Yes and No. DH has two sisters. One I love and we get along great. The other well we have nothing in common. We're really really different. We both get along, but we'll never be best friends. The thing is both DH's brother and this sister have a theatre background and please don't get offended by this or this it's a generalization because I know it's not the case with everyone, but with these two they're just too fake and dramatic about everything. I think there's a wall between she and I because she always seems so fake to me. I can't really get close to her because she just doesn't seem sincere in her emotions so I keep my distance. It's a shame, but I guess you can't get a long great with everyone. As it is, I got really lucky with my in laws. I love my MIL and FIL. They're terrific and it seems like so many people don't get along with their MIL so I feel lucky about that.

deedee Posted: Sep 25, 2005 12:14 PM

Re: Do you get along with SIL/BIL?

I totally get along with my BIL. The best is that he is dating one of my good friends (thanks to me and DH) and probably will be getting engaged very soon. It makes me so happy to see them together.
My SIL is about 10 years older than me and lives pretty far away-the family doesn't even see her that often. She and I really don't have that much in common, but we are quite civil.

palebride Posted: Sep 25, 2005 12:45 PM

Re: Do you get along with SIL/BIL?

Dh has one brother and we have a similar sense of humor so we get along great!

nferrandi Posted: Sep 25, 2005 12:49 PM

Re: Do you get along with SIL/BIL?

I love DH's sister. We get along great and even hang out sometimes. My DH's brother and I have always gotten along, but his wife and I hate each other. When they were first dating I was very nice to her and took a lot of abuse from her. The more I took, the worse she got, so eventually DH told me to stop being nice to her, so I did.
We barely say hello to each other at family parties, but it's not that big of a deal because she doesn't come around too often. Noone in DH's family is too thrilled with her, so that makes things a lot easier for me.

jeanla4c Posted: Sep 26, 2005 01:25 PM

Re: Do you get along with SIL/BIL?

Get along with my BIL just fine, he is really shy (like DH was at one point) but he's a really nice guy....ran into him on Sat night at the Mets game and he was like 'I almost called you to see ifyou wanted this ticket' (DH was playing a wedding gig). I don't have any brothers so it's neat!