Do you have guidelines for when to call?

Hi Ladies!!!

I ask this because in this past week one of my friends (a male) has called my home very early in the morning.

This is one of my best friends whom I speak to everyday at work.

First Instance:

I happened to be speaking to him about buying a grill, so the next morning he calls my home at 7:45am to tell me that I he has an extra one and if I want it he will bring it to work (we work near each other).

Second:

Yesterday DH is sleeping and I am making breakfast. My Dh comes into the kitchen very irritable as he is woken up from his sleep and hands me the phone. It is my friend. He asks if this is an innappropriate time to call. I say it is ok, but it is early.

Now My DH has no issues with my friend, he is so trusting, but I think to some degree I need to have a conversation withmy friend about how he cannot call my house whenever he feels like it. I am married now and he needs to be cognizant of that.

Is this the proper way to approach it? I have mentioned this to another friend of mine as well.

Have any of you had issues like this with friends or family?

Re: Do you have guidelines for when to call?

Yup, this was hard at first, but no one can call our home on the weekends before 9 am and you cannot call our home after 10pm. Of course emergencies are an exception or long distance calls from outside of the US

Re: Do you have guidelines for when to call?

I dont really have a problem with this...if someone calls me very early or late, there is usually a good reason. But if he is calling you at all hours for no good reason, definitely say something. And if he asks if its okay - tell him its not. There is nothing wrong with saying 'i sleep until xam, dont call me until 10 or something'

Re: Do you have guidelines for when to call?

Remember when my MIL called me at 6:30 a.m. to tell me she found my phone book and I read her the riot act?! I think its good to tell people in a polite way, beforehand, that its best to call you after a certain time. This way there are no hard feelings later on when they catch you at a bad time.

Re: Do you have guidelines for when to call?

LOL, Irene I DO remember that.

I am a VERY considerate person so I sometimes forget that some people may not be.

Re: Do you have guidelines for when to call?

Usually not before 9 am on weekends but it depends on the situation.

Re: Do you have guidelines for when to call?

I have a very simple solution for this problem: We turn off all the phones on weekends!

Re: Do you have guidelines for when to call?

Anyone can call me as late as needed. Dh and I both don't care. Sometimes I still get calls at midnight, doesn't matter to me.

I hate calls before 9am. Gets me sooooo mad unless its an emergency of course. Enzo's co-worker use to have this thing to scream through the nextel almost every morning at 8am. After I was through with him one cranky day, he never again called..lol.

ETA: I am very considerate on what time to call other people.

Re: Do you have guidelines for when to call?

I would say something. I don't think he's intentionally doing it, but he's probably an early bird like I am. Sometimes, I would pick up the phone to call someone, and then would realize how early it is.

Re: Do you have guidelines for when to call?

Most of my friends just know better. I used to turn off my ringer when I went to bed and turn it on when I woke up (back when I was single and way back in the days of pagers only)

Now, most won't call me at all in the mornings. Call after 11am is fine. Call before 11pm is ok too. Now we just screen all calls. The ringer is turned off. If it sounds important, we pick up. If it's not important enough for you to leave a message we don't feel it's important enough for us to pick up the phone.

We both have cell phones and those calls we always answer.

Re: Do you have guidelines for when to call?

Roger turns off the clock for the weekends, I think I am going to do that for the phone. If its an emergency they will call 911 j/k but seriously if its a real emergency, do you think they are going to call us or 911???

Re: Do you have guidelines for when to call?

Just to add:

I never allow my friends to call me at the office unless it’s an emergency. I think it’s rude. My office set up really doesn’t allow a whole lot of privacy so I can’t be gabbing about dinner, TV & relationships cause everyone can hear. I utilize email, if it’s something you just CAN’T hold on to until the end of the day ….. like gossip that will be cold when I get home, then fine.. email me, but otherwise, I ask all my friends NOT to use my office email unless VERY necessary and never to call me at work unless it’s an emergency.

I hate chain emails and I really hate when I used to get them at work, now I don’t.

I feel like the only one with this rule (office)?

Re: Do you have guidelines for when to call?

I don't think it has anything to do with you being married, its more about just being considerate. Don't call too early or too late.

I don't have any 'rules' in place, but when I get calls that wake me up I let the person know not to call that early (these calls are generally from the east coast - seems like 4+ years is not enough for them to have figured out the 3 hour time difference yet!)

Re: Do you have guidelines for when to call?

LisaT, I think that it is a consideration thing as well, however I do think being married has something to do with it. While your life should not change, but should be modified to some degree.

When I was single and not living with DH, if my friends needed to call to chat at 11pm or later to just chat, I would allow it, but now that is a no no. I had one friend who would call me like clockwork at 10am on a Sat morning, now she does not do this.

Maybe it is just me, but this is how I feel.

Re: Do you have guidelines for when to call?

I just meant that the consideration should extend to you and whoever you're living with: roommate, boyfriend, husband whatever.

A good friend of mine is a crazy morning person (I'm not) but I knew I could always call her early if I wanted. Now she's living with her boyfriend and I know he sleeps in, so I don't call her until after 11.

Re: Do you have guidelines for when to call?

I guess it depends on the person...my BIL gets very cranky if he is woken too early on the weekends...so I don't call my sister then...


as for us...i don't think anyone cares...I'm used to phone calls at all hours anyway...since John is destined to always work for a 24/7 operation!!!


and many people in NY forget the 3 hour difference...so we get phone calls at 5 or 6 in the morning from NY relatives