do you let your DH have some 'freedom?'?

dm24angel Posted: Mar 30, 2005 07:49 PM

do you let your DH have some 'freedom?'?

What I mean is to kinda 'do his own thing' now and then? I think I do. DH plays softball( at least 9 months a year ) and usually twice a week, and he goes Bowling once or twice a week, so he has his 'night out'..and it doesnt bother me ONE bit...He can go to sports games, plays cards, Casino nights..I dont mind.
YET..some of his friends wifes are SO against all this...they get upset, and I see the guys fighting to 'get out of the house'...and Im wondering if I'm more liberal or are they plain crazy?

We have one friend whos wife (married 8 years) lets him go NO-WHERE without her, they have a 5 month old now and I feel bad for HIM...its like hes a prisoner.

I know at the beginning of our relationship, I wanted say Fri and Sat Nights with him, but now its a little different,...

Would like to hear other peoples opinions..

shamrock12472 Posted: Mar 30, 2005 07:52 PM

Re: do you let your DH have some 'freedom?'?

I'm with you. DH can pretty much go out and do what he wants. I enjoy my nights alone or I go out with my friends. As a matter of fact, I'm sitting here with the dogs because DH is out to dinner with co-workers. I think it is very healthy for a relationship that each person has their own interests.

I think women that put such a short leash on their husbands must feel 'trapped' themselves. I kind of feel bad for them but you never know, maybe their husbands don't let them go out.

dm24angel Posted: Mar 30, 2005 07:56 PM

Re: do you let your DH have some 'freedom?'?

Posted by shamrock12472

I'm with you. DH can pretty much go out and do what he wants. I enjoy my nights alone or I go out with my friends. As a matter of fact, I'm sitting here with the dogs because DH is out to dinner with co-workers. I think it is very healthy for a relationship that each person has their own interests.

I think women that put such a short leash on their husbands must feel 'trapped' themselves. I kind of feel bad for them but you never know, maybe their husbands don't let them go out.

Thats the thing, the wives who are like this, they never want to go out..I have had his friends say' call me wife'..and they say, NO, or I didnt want him going..and Im like ..TO BOWLING? Whats he gonna do there?

I like my alone nights too, or I go shopping, hang out with the girls..etc

February05 Posted: Mar 30, 2005 08:00 PM

Re: do you let your DH have some 'freedom?'?

my DH never really does anything or goes anywhere.... he's even lazy when it comes to his friends

also, most of his friends are newly married as well, so they all do couples things... so we'll all go out together, but the boys go one way and the girls go the other, so most times i'll barely even see DH during the night, and i think its a nice balance.

but... i do get annoyed when we have plans, or im asking him all day on saturday what he wants to do that night and he says 'i dunno', and then his friends call and he just peaces me out (it doesnt happen that often, but i hate getting ditched in situations like that)

If DH had a steady thing though like that (he used to play football and softball)... it wouldnt bother me at all... getting married doesnt mean giving up every other sense of joy that you once had.... i think?

TracyInQueens Posted: Mar 30, 2005 08:15 PM

Re: do you let your DH have some 'freedom?'?

I would not mind if DH has something that was exclusively 'his'. I think it would be nice to have the time to myself. Once in a while I go out for coffee with a girlfriend or I will go to the mall on my own, and I feel a little bad. I would feel less bad if he had his own thing.

JimmysBride Posted: Mar 30, 2005 08:22 PM

Re: do you let your DH have some 'freedom?'?

I just spent so much time typing out this long reply and IE crapped out on me

So I'll post the very abbreviated version.

I wish I could be more liberal than I am. I never tell him he can't do something or not 'let' him go out, I just him a hard time sometimes... often unnecessarily. And most times I end up being more mad at myself for ever giving him a hard time about it but the fact is...well, I don't like it when HE goes out and I DON'T.

Otherwise, if I have plans too, it doesn't usually bother me. Oh, and I HATE it when he goes out with people from work because we work at the same place and I hate going to work the next day and hearing about it or catching the tail end of some inside joke with guys or something like that... so that's usually when I'll give him a hard time, when it's work people.

september2004 Posted: Mar 30, 2005 08:33 PM

Re: do you let your DH have some 'freedom?'?

i 'force' him to have it as i want mine as well, i think it's a must for a healthy relationship!

Moehick Posted: Mar 30, 2005 09:09 PM

Re: do you let your DH have some 'freedom?'?

DH has all the freedom in the world to choose what he wants to do...but he often hangs out with me

btrflygrl Posted: Mar 30, 2005 09:20 PM

Re: do you let your DH have some 'freedom?'?

WHEN he asks, I am more than usually willing to let him go. I don't say no, BUT the thiing is DH ALWAYS wants me around. He says 'I like doing everything with you', so....we do EVERYTHING together. I go to his softball games once a week. The only thing I won't do with him is golf....HATE it. BORING. So when he gets the chance, he goes with his guy friends.

FireIslandLove Posted: Mar 30, 2005 09:35 PM

Re: do you let your DH have some 'freedom?'?

Posted by september2004

i 'force' him to have it as i want mine as well, i think it's a must for a healthy relationship!

I agree! DH has gone away for the weekend with his friends and I don't mind at all. He says he wants to do it now b/c he knows he won't be able to when we have kids.

lullabella Posted: Mar 31, 2005 09:12 AM

Re: do you let your DH have some 'freedom?'?

It isn't a question of me 'letting' dh have some freedom. We are both free to do whatever we want becuase we have mutual respect for each other. We go out without each other and with each other all the time.

RedHead Posted: Mar 31, 2005 09:14 AM

Re: do you let your DH have some 'freedom?'?

i let him do what he wants...it isn't often that he has a 'guys' night
so i let him when he asks!

JimmysBride Posted: Mar 31, 2005 09:24 AM

Re: do you let your DH have some 'freedom?'?

Posted by RedHead

so i let him when he asks!

'when he asks' - I love that!!!

dpli Posted: Mar 31, 2005 11:36 AM

Re: do you let your DH have some 'freedom?'?

My DH usually wants to do most things with me. I am the one who usually has to get out and do things on my own or with friends without him once in a while. I think we both need to have our own space and freedom to have interests that don't include the other person. I totally trust him, so I don't worry about where he is going or what he is doing.

Jan05Bride Posted: Mar 31, 2005 11:39 AM

Re: do you let your DH have some 'freedom?'?

we always consult with each other to see what prior plans we had but he's free to do what he wants as long as no prior plans were made.

RedHead Posted: Mar 31, 2005 11:41 AM

Re: do you let your DH have some 'freedom?'?

Posted by JimmysBride

Posted by RedHead

so i let him when he asks!

'when he asks' - I love that!!!

yes i gots it like that

aimerliny Posted: Mar 31, 2005 11:43 AM

Re: do you let your DH have some 'freedom?'?

We definetly give each other a lot of freedom, but I think I do more stuff solo than he does. But he is less of a planner than I.

I do like having Friday and Saturday night together -- either alone or socially with others.

But unless he wanted to do something 6 nights a week or more without me, then I doubt I'd ever complain.

mskimmy98 Posted: Mar 31, 2005 11:44 AM

Re: do you let your DH have some 'freedom?'?

DH always asks me and I don't mind at all.. he can go where he wants when he wants but I do like that he asks me

Janice Posted: Mar 31, 2005 11:49 AM

Re: do you let your DH have some 'freedom?'?

DH never does stuff with just his friends. I am not sure why, usually we double date. He is a really busy guy though, and lets say with something like golfing. I will go with him, but I will always first offer to stay behind, mainly so the price is cut in half, but he says he misses me when he is their without me. But DH is going to NC for 4 days without me to check out the area with his friend. That does not bother me at all. I would go but I don't have enough vacation time.

nferrandi Posted: Mar 31, 2005 11:51 AM

Re: do you let your DH have some 'freedom?'?

DH has freedom, but I do admit to giving him a hard time sometimes. I don't mind him hanging out with his friends, but when he complains to me that we don't have money to go out, but he's got money to go play cards or go out for drinks with his friends- that pisses me off to no end.