Does anyone elses DH work ALL THE TIME! (mini -vent)

milana Posted: Sep 17, 2007 07:36 PM

Does anyone elses DH work ALL THE TIME! (mini -vent)

The past month DH has been working non-stop...meetings in Neveda, AZ and Chicago...going to his office everyday and working until 2am and waking up at 5 or 6 in the morning to start working.

Its at the point that he is working 18 hours out of the 24 hour day. Its not healthy i tell him.

Hes always stressed out and tired...i feel bad for him and also left out since theres not much time to be spent with me.

What can i do to get him to relax a little bit? I know we have bills and expenses, and we want to buy a house, but i would rather not have a house if this what he has too go through

Sorry just needed to vent i guess.

GettinHutched Posted: Sep 17, 2007 08:10 PM

Re: Does anyone elses DH work ALL THE TIME! (mini -vent)

OMG your poor DH ...AND you!! That's so rough!

Could you make some plans to get him away from it? Maybe make a couple of date nights? A quick trip away- maybe a weekend?

Hopefully it's just a busy month and it'll pass. Is this typical for him?

sugarkube4 Posted: Sep 17, 2007 08:14 PM

Re: Does anyone elses DH work ALL THE TIME! (mini -vent)

Honey.. I feel your pain..

DH works 3-11pm and gets home at 12:30-1am and sometimes has to be back at work for a double starting at 7am which means that he leaves at 5:30am.. He's off 2 days a week and those days vary from week to week, and I work on wednesday nights so on the days where he's off Tuesday/Wednesday or Wednesday/Thursday, I only see him once that week, it s*cks..

When we are off together, I try to make dinner or rent movies so that we can spend time together.. and when I have a little extra money, I splurge on Massages for the 2 of us..

It helps, but I still wish we had more time together.. I know he is doing this so that we can buy a house and live comfortably, but it still s*cks!!!

Summer07Bride Posted: Sep 17, 2007 08:17 PM

Re: Does anyone elses DH work ALL THE TIME! (mini -vent)

I wish I could help, but I have a similar problem. DH goes to work at 6 am and usually gets home around 8 pm, sometimes later and we go to bed around 9:30. The most important thing is to set aside some time together. We went on a date night this Saturday and it was great. :)

kahlua716 Posted: Sep 17, 2007 08:21 PM

Re: Does anyone elses DH work ALL THE TIME! (mini -vent)

Yes, mine just took on tons of OT for the next few months (incl. Saturdays) at his first job, plus he starts an EMT course 2 nights a week, then he has a 2nd job....

We've only been married 16 days and already I never see him...

Whats worse- I feel so lazy...I work my one job and thats it....I feel like I should be doing more.

Hang in there...it won't last forever.

mandc722 Posted: Sep 17, 2007 08:23 PM

Re: Does anyone elses DH work ALL THE TIME! (mini -vent)

I totally feel your pain! We try as hard as we can to make sure that we have some 'us' time during the weekend- whether that's a date or just a lazy day lounging around the apartment.

NYpradamama Posted: Sep 17, 2007 08:25 PM

Re: Does anyone elses DH work ALL THE TIME! (mini -vent)

yes.... i hate it but i know it's great that he works hard and I love nice things!

He is a VP for an investment bank and works alot of hours + the traveling but I want to eventually not work so I'm gonna suck it up and shop online....lol

ruzi777 Posted: Sep 17, 2007 08:25 PM

Re: Does anyone elses DH work ALL THE TIME! (mini -vent)

What a Busy, Hard Working Man your DH is.
Does he sleep more than 3 hours at a time?? I hope he is Eating Healthly, and taking Vitamins.

I agree with Tara....try to have @ least 1 night a week for Date Night.
Whether you both go out to dinner or have movie night at home....@ least it is qualitity Time.

About trying to get him to Relax....I know I have that type of personalitly where I can Not relax, no matter what my DH does, I just don't feel Relaxed.
Is that like your DH?? Does he feel like he always has to be on the go???

Mich0621 Posted: Sep 17, 2007 09:01 PM

Re: Does anyone elses DH work ALL THE TIME! (mini -vent)

Oy! Why don't you tell him how you feel? I feel bad about saying this, but sometimes, they need a little scare (like a bad run of the flu, nothing that bad) to learn that they need to stop and think about themselves...sorry sweetie-you can always FM your alpaca sisters for entertainment if that helps! I am sorry you have to deal with this

rkl1130 Posted: Sep 17, 2007 09:05 PM

Re: Does anyone elses DH work ALL THE TIME! (mini -vent)

You should set aside some 'quiet time' for the two of you--a date night. I know DH and I do this to keep ourselves grounded and connected in this busy world.

I also agree with a previous post--maybe you should mention it to your DH. Not in a confrontational way, but more out of concern. It's not healthy to work like that all the time--I hope he's at least eating well and taking vitamins.

milana Posted: Sep 17, 2007 09:15 PM

Re: Does anyone elses DH work ALL THE TIME! (mini -vent)

Thank you so much for your hugs and support girls! Im glad im not the only one who feels this way too.

Ive spoken to FH about it numerous times and he does take vitamens everyday b/c he is always getting sick since he doesnt sleep enough and gets dizzy throughout the day. He knows how i feel about him not getting enough sleep but he is definitly eating healthy so i guess thats the positive.

Im going to try and initiate a day in the week in which we have to spend some time together and call it a 'Date Day'. Its horrible that we live together and dont get to spend much time together bewteen him working and me going to school.

Thank you ladies

ruzi777 Posted: Sep 17, 2007 09:16 PM

Re: Does anyone elses DH work ALL THE TIME! (mini -vent)

Glad to offer some support....

HamptonsBride Posted: Sep 17, 2007 09:18 PM

Re: Does anyone elses DH work ALL THE TIME! (mini -vent)

when DH had a real job he worked from about 4:30am-7pm (Sun-Fri)..because he had to deal with Israel in the morning and on Sundays & CA at nite..and then he'd travel to Israel 2 weeks at a time every month & a half..or other countries...i felt like i hardly ever saw him...but i kept myself busy taking taekowndo classes and seeing friends...and he knew that Saturdays were MY day...

now he is in VA and i only see him about once a month so i guess i shouldn't have complained back then..haha....just tell him how you feel and tell him that you need to have some 'couple' time with him at least once a week..and try and keep in touch during the day with text messages or little e-mails...i know that helps me...and you always have us!!

kitty1224 Posted: Sep 17, 2007 10:12 PM

Re: Does anyone elses DH work ALL THE TIME! (mini -vent)

Poor man and Milana I have been in your shoes and it *****, but he needs to take care of himself better. I agree that you guys should have a date night make it an easy relaxing evening because he needs as much rest as possible but were you guys are spending time together maybe dinner and a movie. Hang in there

PegaLega Posted: Sep 17, 2007 10:23 PM

Re: Does anyone elses DH work ALL THE TIME! (mini -vent)

That stinks for both of you. He is working to provide and you just want him with you for some time. Mine doesnt work like that so I dont know how you feel. Im sure it stinks, but it really is not healthy for him. Tell him take a breather. Where there is at least one day or one night that he is home so that you get to spend time together and he gets to relax a little bit

XFINALLYX Posted: Sep 18, 2007 12:52 PM

Re: Does anyone elses DH work ALL THE TIME! (mini -vent)

DH is an NYPD transit cop so there's always overtime. I'm a waitress and we kinda have different hours. I feel like I never see him :-/

TnOiOnL Posted: Sep 18, 2007 01:24 PM

Re: Does anyone elses DH work ALL THE TIME! (mini -vent)

i lucked out because he works late SOMETIMES, not ALL the time.. but those times are soooooooo aggrivating! They want to send him to Bahrain [sp? its in the Middle East] in October and I'm ready to blow his company's face off

Love4Eva Posted: Sep 18, 2007 01:28 PM

Re: Does anyone elses DH work ALL THE TIME! (mini -vent)

I feel your pain.

DH works 2 jobs ... Mon-Fri 9-5pm and then Tues/Wed/Thurs he works 5:30-12pm ... so I only see him in the morning when we are both getting ready, and then Mon and Fri nights. On top of that, we have parties every single weekend, and if not a party, then a family get-together. We also like to spend time with our friends, so we usually have freinds over for dinner on Sat nights (if there's no family event of course). We rarely have time to ourselves to just relax and do nothing. It tough - but we are planning to have weekend get-aways once in a while - just to have time alone, and explore and relax - maybe you can do that too???