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Does anyone's DH talk to their Mother ..but you DON'T
NuBride Posted: Sep 19, 2003 11:26 AM+
NuBride MEMBER SINCE: 11/01 TOTAL POSTS : 1343 WEDDING DATE: Aug 03, 2001
Posted: Sep 19, 2003 11:26 AM bride-minus.png

Does anyone's DH talk to their Mother ..but you DON'T

Just wondering if anyone's husband has a relationship their Mother and you don't.....how do you handle that?

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michele31 Posted: Sep 19, 2003 11:32 AM+
michele31 MEMBER SINCE: 6/01 TOTAL POSTS : 10673 WEDDING DATE: Nov 02, 2002 WEDDING LOCATION: Tavern on the Green
Posted: Sep 19, 2003 11:32 AM bride-minus.png

Re: Does anyone's DH talk to their Mother ..but you DON'T

You mean that you do not even so much as speak a word to your Mom, but your DH has a good relationship with her? Or do you just avoid your mom?
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NuBride Posted: Sep 19, 2003 11:38 AM+
NuBride MEMBER SINCE: 11/01 TOTAL POSTS : 1343 WEDDING DATE: Aug 03, 2001
Posted: Sep 19, 2003 11:38 AM bride-minus.png

Re: Does anyone's DH talk to their Mother ..but you DON'T

We really BOTH don't have a great relationship with HIS mother....however if and when she calls, she calls him on his cell...
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Latina511 Posted: Sep 19, 2003 11:58 AM+
Latina511 MEMBER SINCE: 8/02 TOTAL POSTS : 7201 WEDDING DATE: Sep 15, 2002
Posted: Sep 19, 2003 11:58 AM bride-minus.png

Re: Does anyone's DH talk to their Mother ..but you DON'T

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SandyP Posted: Sep 19, 2003 12:01 PM+
SandyP MEMBER SINCE: 10/02 TOTAL POSTS : 49 WEDDING DATE: Sep 20, 2000
Posted: Sep 19, 2003 12:01 PM bride-minus.png

Re: Does anyone's DH talk to their Mother ..but you DON'T

Unfortunately so many wives and MIL's don't speak - between myself and my girlfriends, I know at least 6 women who has this same problem! Myself and my MIL have had some major issues over the years and for almost a whole year I managed not to speak to her. However, we had to find a way to work it out because it began to really affect my DH because he felt he was in the middle. He called a family meeting one day and confronted his family in front of me and we hashed it out one day. After that, his mom and I said we would try harder. We speak to each other now, but it's just formalities. I don't feel we'll ever have a close relationship, but it's at least to point where we can be civil. At first I was nervous and had some trepidation about the whole thing, but it did take a lot of weight off after we all talked.

For the sake of your marriage, your happiness and your husband's happiness, it's worth working things out and finding some middle ground. The further you get in your marriage, the more you'll find that it's worth it - your peace of mind will appreciate it.

Good luck!
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regina2 Posted: Sep 19, 2003 12:41 PM+
regina2 MEMBER SINCE: 12/02 TOTAL POSTS : 1039 WEDDING DATE: Nov 08, 2003
Posted: Sep 19, 2003 12:41 PM bride-minus.png

Re: Does anyone's DH talk to their Mother ..but you DON'T

MY FI has a great relationship with his mother, but she lives in Ireland and we live in NY. So when he calls he tends to talk to her and forgets to put me on the phone with her. So when he get off the phone and I ask who he was talking to - I get mad sometimes, because what must she think that I didn't speak to her.

But to tell you the truth, I dont mind too much because I dont know what to say. I have met her once and we speak on the phone occasionally but right now it is all wedding related. Once that is over I guess we will be back to discussing the weather. Oh well... She is a very nice lady though!
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LisaT Posted: Sep 19, 2003 12:54 PM+
LisaT MEMBER SINCE: 7/01 TOTAL POSTS : 5894 WEDDING DATE: Apr 27, 2002
Posted: Sep 19, 2003 12:54 PM bride-minus.png

Re: Does anyone's DH talk to their Mother ..but you DON'T

his mother usually doesn't call ever, and he generally calls his parents on his cell commuting to/from work. So I often don't speak to them. On special occasions, birthdays etc, I'll make sure to call and talk to them myself and they'll call for my birthday.

We have a good relationship, and I'm not avoiding them. We just don't talk much - I don't call just to chat but I'll call if there's a reason. (they're in NY, we're in CA)
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LizD Posted: Sep 19, 2003 12:58 PM+
LizD MEMBER SINCE: 7/01 TOTAL POSTS : 4384 WEDDING DATE: Dec 15, 2002
Posted: Sep 19, 2003 12:58 PM bride-minus.png

Re: Does anyone's DH talk to their Mother ..but you DON'T

I have a great relationship with my MIL. We talk all the time, I probably talk to her on the phone more than DH does. I guess I am in the minority
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yabbobay Posted: Sep 19, 2003 01:12 PM+
yabbobay MEMBER SINCE: 5/01 TOTAL POSTS : 14690 WEDDING DATE: Dec 28, 1992
Posted: Sep 19, 2003 01:12 PM bride-minus.png

Re: Does anyone's DH talk to their Mother ..but you DON'T

regina...I have a similar situation...MIL is in Spain and I don't really talk to her too much, b/c DH rarely puts me on...but they talk often b/c they are trying to sell a house there so they need to talk alot...do you guys use 10-10-987...its a great deal for western europe!!

but I have a really good relationship with her...


my mom on the otherhand calls DH's cellphone...since its a local number and our home number isn't....so she talks to him more than me!!! and whenever we are there...she caters to his needs...I'm tossed to the side...she buys sprite for him specifically, b/c he said he liked it once...lol
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Claud2001 Posted: Sep 19, 2003 01:25 PM+
Claud2001 MEMBER SINCE: 1/02 TOTAL POSTS : 5865 WEDDING DATE: Jun 03, 2001
Posted: Sep 19, 2003 01:25 PM bride-minus.png

Re: Does anyone's DH talk to their Mother ..but you DON'T

DH's parents don't call us much. DH usually calls them once a week to say hi and see how they are.
Most of the time, he speaks to them. Sometimes, I'll say a quick hello...but, I don't really get involved in a big conversation. It is once in a blue moon that I have a phone call w/MIL. But, she usually emails me once a week.
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Niecey Posted: Sep 19, 2003 01:39 PM+
Niecey MEMBER SINCE: 6/01 TOTAL POSTS : 5965 WEDDING DATE: Oct 26, 2002
Posted: Sep 19, 2003 01:39 PM bride-minus.png

Re: Does anyone's DH talk to their Mother ..but you DON'T

DH's parents and family never call my house for some reason - they call him in the office. DH says he talks to his mom a few time a week - if not every day too. If she needs to ask me a question, I get an email. I guess I have kind of followed suit. Sometimes I wonder why they never call the house - makes me a little uncomfortable sometimes when I think about it.
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NuBride Posted: Sep 19, 2003 01:48 PM+
NuBride MEMBER SINCE: 11/01 TOTAL POSTS : 1343 WEDDING DATE: Aug 03, 2001
Posted: Sep 19, 2003 01:48 PM bride-minus.png

Re: Does anyone's DH talk to their Mother ..but you DON'T

Nicey, I feel the same way!!! He has a home, he doesn't live at his 'cell'...she should call him at home.

Boy what did we do before the days of 'Cell Phones' and 'Email'??
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SandyP Posted: Sep 19, 2003 02:26 PM+
SandyP MEMBER SINCE: 10/02 TOTAL POSTS : 49 WEDDING DATE: Sep 20, 2000
Posted: Sep 19, 2003 02:26 PM bride-minus.png

Re: Does anyone's DH talk to their Mother ..but you DON'T

How funny - all of my inlaws call hubby on the cell phone as well! This must be the new millenium way of inlaw communication.

I don't know why things have to be so ackward! I take my hat off to those who get along with their inlaws!
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IrishTracy Posted: Sep 19, 2003 02:27 PM+
IrishTracy MEMBER SINCE: 1/02 TOTAL POSTS : 9477 WEDDING DATE: May 23, 2003
Posted: Sep 19, 2003 02:27 PM bride-minus.png

Re: Does anyone's DH talk to their Mother ..but you DON'T

Like Regina my MIL is in Ireland. So, I only talk to her when I pick up the phone when they call.
My cirumstances are different though. My MIL's speech is limited after a stroke. But she always askes how I am! Before the stroke I could be on the phone w/ her for 10 min or longer!
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michele31 Posted: Sep 19, 2003 02:31 PM+
michele31 MEMBER SINCE: 6/01 TOTAL POSTS : 10673 WEDDING DATE: Nov 02, 2002 WEDDING LOCATION: Tavern on the Green
Posted: Sep 19, 2003 02:31 PM bride-minus.png

Re: Does anyone's DH talk to their Mother ..but you DON'T

I used to date a guy many years ago and his mother and I were very, very close. We did a lot just the two of us and it was really nice.

My MIL and I are not super close, although there is no issues between us. We are just very different people and I find it more difficult to be 'one of them'. She is a very nice women and when we go to see the family in MA there are no fights or anything close to that. I just don't really have much in common with them. She and DH do speak about once a week and she always asks about me. But she almost never calls our home- he usually calls her from work.
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