Does anyone's parents hate the thought of you and DH having kids?

nifheim Posted: Sep 04, 2008 09:51 AM

Does anyone's parents hate the thought of you and DH having kids?

I think I am in the only person where my parents DO NOT want me to get pregnant.

Back story: All I did was talk about my boss having a second kid and how I was looking online and found a turtle nursery decor and that is what I would pick. Then my mom mentioned how there was an article in Newsday regarding mental disorders linked in children born to older fathers. My DH is 36 and I am 29 so I said 'what you want me preggers now?' and I was kinda laughing about it. Both parents in a synch said no! You can't get pregnant, you need to work and your husband can't handle having a kid since you both are too social, etc. Totally blasting us! My mouth dropped.

Anyone else have parents who are against you having kids? I realize it maybe for different reasons then my parents but just curious.

boky17 Posted: Sep 04, 2008 09:52 AM

Re: Does anyone's parents hate the thought of you and DH having kids?

both are moms CAN'T wait until we have kids. we on the other hand can LOL

jtgarsik Posted: Sep 04, 2008 09:57 AM

Re: Does anyone's parents hate the thought of you and DH having kids?

i think my mil would be ecstatic...my mom wants us to wait but only because we're young..she just wants us to enjoy our marraige for a while - which is exactly what we intend on doing

TommysWife08 Posted: Sep 04, 2008 09:58 AM

Re: Does anyone's parents hate the thought of you and DH having kids?

Posted by jtgarsik

i think my mil would be ecstatic...my mom wants us to wait but only because we're young..she just wants us to enjoy our marraige for a while - which is exactly what we intend on doing

ditto!!!

korndoggie Posted: Sep 04, 2008 10:06 AM

Re: Does anyone's parents hate the thought of you and DH having kids?

Guys can have perfectly fine children forever, it doesn't matter how old they are.

Actually this weekend my MIL told me that we shouldn't rush into having children. I think that statement was made because my SIL just had in-vitro and might be pregnant with twins. I didn't tell DH that she said that. It would upset him terribly.

ant n tilde Posted: Sep 04, 2008 10:11 AM

Re: Does anyone's parents hate the thought of you and DH having kids?

I think your parents just have different priorities - sounds like they want you to be financiall secure before popping out a few.

Us, on the other hand? We have the opposite problem.

We live upstairs from my parents and my mother said that I can make my old room into a nursery - which is right next to HER bedroom, downstairs. . . (did I mention we live UPSTAIRS).

nifheim Posted: Sep 04, 2008 10:29 AM

Re: Does anyone's parents hate the thought of you and DH having kids?

hahah mommy wants to have another baby in the house IoI

My parents don't want to raise children again and I understand that nor would I drop the kid off to them. They left me alone as a child and I wouldn't want that for our children even if I have to do daycare (they will have at least people to interact with unlike me). But they were so happy for my bro who had kids 7 years ago and it just hurt me. I realize we are not in the position to have kids at all and we don't want them right away its just to say it hurt me bad.

ant n tilde Posted: Sep 04, 2008 10:36 AM

Re: Does anyone's parents hate the thought of you and DH having kids?

Posted by nifheim

hahah mommy wants to have another baby in the house IoI

My parents don't want to raise children again and I understand that nor would I drop the kid off to them. They left me alone as a child and I wouldn't want that for our children even if I have to do daycare (they will have at least people to interact with unlike me). But they were so happy for my bro who had kids 7 years ago and it just hurt me. I realize we are not in the position to have kids at all and we don't want them right away its just to say it hurt me bad.

Can you talk to your parents about it ( I know I couldn't but maybe your family is normal? LOL ) Maybe mention that it is hurtful bc its kind of a mean thing to say!

klanghan Posted: Sep 04, 2008 06:29 PM

Re: Does anyone's parents hate the thought of you and DH having kids?

if my dad had his way i would be pregnant with triplets right now

bettybcafe82 Posted: Sep 04, 2008 10:33 PM

Re: Does anyone's parents hate the thought of you and DH having kids?

Wow..thats very cold...

I know my In laws would be super excited if I got preggo now..

My mom would be happy but she doesnt want me preggo right now..she wants me to finish my schooling first...but she def. wants a grand baby

vmystique33 Posted: Sep 04, 2008 11:32 PM

Re: Does anyone's parents hate the thought of you and DH having kids?

When my dad asked why I bought a minivan and I told him We were thinking of having another he wasnt pleased Some parents are very rude and cold unfortunately we are the ones stuck with them do what you want and ignore there nasty comments

JennNicole Posted: Sep 04, 2008 11:43 PM

Re: Does anyone's parents hate the thought of you and DH having kids?

I am sorry your parents are coming off a bit off on this subject regarding children.

We on the other hand have it the other way around but rudeness about how we are NOT having children. Like we need to grow up and also the same thing about the age factor and we are head of you guys in that department.

My Mom will say dumb sh!t like ya know it is proven that after a certain age the swimmers are slow and you can make deformed children

it really pisses me off

Thankfully they know at this point the subject is very soar w/me b/c I happen to be on meds that won't allow for childbirth for a couple of months.

Try not to let that get you down, even thou easier said than done.

HelenZ Posted: Sep 05, 2008 07:29 AM

Re: Does anyone's parents hate the thought of you and DH having kids?

all I have to say to your parents is this:

my parents had a big age gap between them, and my dad conceived me in his SEVENTIES.....so far it seems I'm not deformed or mentally challenged, so I'd say that what your parents said is a little far fetched. You are 29, you have plenty of time, and your hubby, he can wait FOREVER to have kids! have kids when you feel comfortable, don't let your parents sway you.

Mrs. Bernabe Posted: Sep 05, 2008 10:50 AM

Re: Does anyone's parents hate the thought of you and DH having kids?

Well, right now I am in Law School and if it were to happen that I get preggo my mom would be happy and my father a little worried, because he feels a baby may come in between my career. In any event, I do not want a baby at the moment for the reason that I want to finish school first, but it bothers me that people (Including co-workers) tell me not to get pregnant. I mean who are they, including my father to tell me I won't finish school because I have a child. There are mil of mothers who make it on their own and finish school and I most certainly am one who is more than capable of doing it. My reason for not wanting a baby is because of the time. The fact that I work full-time and go to school on the evenings would cut back on the time I would have with my baby. Then again, I believe that 'quality' is more important that 'quantity.' My friend moved in with her BF and within 2 mnths got preggo. Everyone thought it was really fast including me, but they are happy and that's what counts the most.

EGreene79 Posted: Sep 05, 2008 10:57 AM

Re: Does anyone's parents hate the thought of you and DH having kids?

I rarely post anymore, but I saw this and I completely sympathize and wanted to let you know you're not the only one. My mom does not want me to get pregnant and any time I bring it up she dismisses me and says 'it's a lot of responsibility.' I'm 29, I've been financially on my own for 8 year, I'm married, own a home, do quite well at my job, so what's the problem? In fact, I thought I was pregnant a few months ago, and my mom was not really happy about it - she seemed almost indifferent. My sister-in-law said it could be a few things.

- I'm her only daughter and the youngest ... it could be a 'she's my baby' thing
- My mom didn't go to college, was a SAHM for my brothers and I - maybe she sees the life I live and my position at work and is proud and doesn't want me to give that up
- I live a little over an hour from my family, so she wouldn't be able to be there all the time and maybe feels guilty or just sad about it

One thing my mom did say to me is that she doesn't want to picture me having sex, so that could be it too!!! It's a tough thing to deal with - we all want our parents to be happy with us. You should talk to her, although when I talked to mine I still got that 'you should enjoy yourself, it's a lot of work and you'll have to give up a lot of things' line.

I'm sorry you're going through this. Good luck!

nifheim Posted: Sep 05, 2008 11:36 AM

Re: Does anyone's parents hate the thought of you and DH having kids?

Thanks everyone, i feel a bit better even though i still think it was a horrible reaction from my parents. I appreciate the feedback, made me feel like not jumping off a bridge.

milana Posted: Sep 05, 2008 12:23 PM

Re: Does anyone's parents hate the thought of you and DH having kids?

Posted by jtgarsik

i think my mil would be ecstatic...my mom wants us to wait but only because we're young..she just wants us to enjoy our marraige for a while - which is exactly what we intend on doing

same here...my mom would say too soon enjoy your life and i agree...my mil would be so thrilled.