Well he was relaying to me a conversation he had with a friend of his. Apparently the guy was working out at the gym with some friends and they were talking about that they should watch a game that night. So the guys says -why don't we watch it at my place? So he calls his wife to see if she minds? Well she gets pi**ssy and says why did you not let me know ahead of time. He totally did not understand why. She proceeded to tell him that he has to let her know in advance if he is having company.
So the guy asks DH if I am like this. My hubby said no, not really.
My hubby asked if I would have a huge problem with him doing something like this and I said no, I would just want the place to be neat and there be food in the fridge to serve people. Not like you would do it all the time.
What are your thoughts????
ChristineC68
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Re: Does he have to let you know in advance???
If I got a phone call to say they were on the way I wouldn't mind at all. That would give me a chance to straighten up a bit before they got there. If there was food/drinks in the house great. If not, they could always order a pizza or something so that part wouldn't concern me.
Lisa Rose
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Re: Does he have to let you know in advance???
Personally I do not like to be 'surprised' with company. I come home from a long day at work, change into crappy clothes and relax or the night! Maybe that night, she was in her sweats, hair up and slippers on and she was not in the mood for company. Then I can see her point.
On the other hand, if she does this all the time to him....not letting him have his friends over to watch the game (or whatever) then that is a totally different story!
nrvbrd
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Re: Does he have to let you know in advance???
Lisa, it was a sat night.
He called her during the afternoon from the gym and asked her and she said no.
ChristineC68
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Re: Does he have to let you know in advance???
I would mind that even less!! DH would come home and HELP pick up then I would go out with my friends or something
Suzanne
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Re: Does he have to let you know in advance???
as long as he called me before they showed up just to make sure the house was straightened up before they got there and i was not in my pajamas..
Sassy
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Re: Does he have to let you know in advance???
I don't really see a problem with it. As long as the house is not a mess. And as long as it's not an all nighter or something like that. I think him asking is way better than calling when he's 10 minutes away and saying 'Hi hon, I'm around the corner, I'll be up in 10 minutes and by the way, the guys are with me.'
Seriously though, you never know why she really said no. Simply b/c we never get the entire story behind something. Like maybe his friends don't know how to leave when it gets late, or they get roudy and noisy. Who knows????
Latina511
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Re: Does he have to let you know in advance???
I need to know in advance. Especially who? I don't know but I am like that. I like to have my place neat and atleast have something for them when they come over. I don't need alot of time in advance but atleast a few hrs so I can prepare.
nrvbrd
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Re: Does he have to let you know in advance???
Latina that is ok . A few hours is perfect and from what we gather the guy called from the gym and said later that night they were coming over.
Alvatorre74
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Re: Does he have to let you know in advance???
I might say No!!
070502
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Re: Does he have to let you know in advance???
Was she at home? Could he have caught her at a bad time, maybe was she out shopping or something like that for Christmas. My husband's friends come over all the anannounced because they just feel like, most aren't married so they don't know better but I have trained them to bring wine or flowers with them.. lol Maybe she was at home and he left it a mess and went to a gym and to do other things and she figured she would have to take care of everything and just put her foot down. Or maybe she didn't want to watch the game and she figured it was to late to make plans with her friends. I dunno, there just aren't enough details and I don't like to judge other peoples relationships so I always try to give the women the benefit of the doubt as well in your situations Nrvbrd, you always seem to be so hard on the ladies and not blame the guys at all..
nrvbrd
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Re: Does he have to let you know in advance???
Posted by 070502
I dunno, there just aren't enough details and I don't like to judge other peoples relationships so I always try to give the women the benefit of the doubt as well in your situations Nrvbrd, you always seem to be so hard on the ladies and not blame the guys at all..
I am not hard on the ladies.
I am not really blaming anyone. I just wanted to know peoples opinion.
Cindy
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Re: Does he have to let you know in advance???
The only problem I would have is if I didnt have any food or drink. If I had enough time, to prepare then it would be ok. Even though it might be just guys, I still wouldnt want anyone to come by and not be able to offer them something to snack on.
The only problem I would have is if I wasnt feeling well or tired, etc. Maybe it was one of those days for her..
ChristineC68
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Re: Does he have to let you know in advance???
I thought this was a 'What would you do in this type of situation?' question not a 'why would she say no?' discussion.
nrvbrd
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Re: Does he have to let you know in advance???
Posted by ChristineC68
I thought this was a 'What would you do in this type of situation?' question not a 'why would she say no?' discussion.
That is what I thought Christine.
ILT1221
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Re: Does he have to let you know in advance???
I agree with Latina, it depends on who. One of my hubby's friends will stay until 4am on a work night. (rolls eyes)
If I had advance notice like a few hours and snacks to offer the guests I wouldn't mind.
MarciaD
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Re: Does he have to let you know in advance???
I don't mind anything like that. Even when friends just pop by when they are in the neighborhood is fine. BUT, that is how I grew up and a lot of people are more private and like notice.
Since it was hours ahead it does seem like he was calling her in advance, and she was just trying some 'control' issue.... humm
wacky
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Re: Does he have to let you know in advance???
NO, as long as the place is tiddy, which is usually is. I wouldnt mind
Tammy5-03
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Re: Does he have to let you know in advance???
I like to have people over but I would need advance notice. I never have food in the house and I'm not the neatest person there is. I admit that only to you all, my LIW friends. I would need more time to get ready. Unless they want to drink water and move the piles of laundry out of their way to walk around. But shhh, don't tell anyone.
hes a big boy...I would help him out if I could...had the time...but if I couldn't - I would tell them to pick some food up on the way home for themselves...
When we lived in NY...this happened more often...so I always had chips and stuff around...and I came to realize...his friends don't really care what I or the house looked like...
