kudos to the alpaca girls....... thank god someone restored sanity....
Sorry for bringing up this thread again , but I'd like to address the 800lb gorilla in the room... Who are we kidding???????
LI'er's are well to do from a national perspective, but on a whole, we're far from being independently wealthy. A good portion of the stat's being shot around definitely do not represent the general LI populous. DeBeers once coerced guys to spending 1 mo salary on a ring... and then upped it to 2 mo's. The average age of couples on this site is approx 26-28.... most only recently graduating school with a BA or possibly even more recently a Masters, and beginning a career, possibly with student loans to pay off. Some are still in school. now review the stats being thrown around.
It's just like starting a 'how much did you pay for your car?' thread, and starting at $20k or less... The majority of cars cost well under $25k, (national average is $27k for new, and $14k for used), so it intentionally develops a pecking order for those 'above the average', marginalizing the majority with their 'unimpressive' stats.
It's an interesting social phenomenon that as a group, we tend to raise the bar to a point that most cannot sustain, and then proceed to make pretend that it isn't THAT high.... I've noticed this not only with $$ stuff... it's also in other areas.... education, appearance, relationships...
this is all while we all know we don't need to attain XXXX for happiness and will be no happier if we are better off than our neighbors..... We also know that most of the prominent noble figures in major religions owned little, yet were rich in philosophy and morals.
sorry for the soliloquy...... guess I felt it necessary becuase I grew-up in a neighborhood that took 'keeping up with the jonses' a bit too seriously, and it has rubbed me the wrong way since I was a little kid.
PegaLega
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Re: 'drama' - who are we kidding?
I spent a whole 17 k on my car.
I really think its a ridiculous thread. Its almost like saying FH spent $$$$ on my ring therefore mine is better Who cares. Rich or poor-he gave you a ring and that should be enough-and truthfully-if you didnt have a ring would it really matter? Or make us any less of a married/engaged/loving couples?
That is the problem, today woman & some men feel that the ring IS that important. Sad thought but truth.
portjeffbride
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Re: 'drama' - who are we kidding?
that is basically it... we all excel in some areas, are average in others, and below average in other areas....This is life. to focus on one area is to ignore the whole picture.
The one thing that is seldom compared is ethics, charity, and other intangible things... which ironically are the only things difficult to quantify, and are also the only things that really matter.
It's hard to keep perspective of these things, since superficial things are pounded into our head by advertisers... Guess the only counterbalances are religion and sometimes family/friends......
hayleyandsteve
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Re: 'drama' - who are we kidding?
the ring threads ALWAYS get drama. to me, my engagement ring was a PROMISE, not a piece of flashy jewelry! and to be honest.... i haven't even worn it since the wedding (for various reasons -- it needs to be resized, and i work in a not-so-great neighborhood)!
PegaLega
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Re: 'drama' - who are we kidding?
Agreed. I think its sad that media pushes that 'materialistic' value. You take your wins and your losses I guess. I may have a small or large ring-bad quality or good quality-but that doesnt show the quality of my relationship with DH at all.
portjeffbride
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Re: 'drama' - who are we kidding?
by the way, the alpaca thing was genius.... love the avatar pics I wish I could have participated
ssdbk
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Re: 'drama' - who are we kidding?
People who have what they feel are average or lower priced rings do not tend to respond to those posts. Same goes if they think their stone is just average or lower in size. This is especially true once we've had a few responses from people who are wearing a down payment for a house. Walk around at some wedding shows or LIW GTGs. You will see some gorgeous rings on the ladies but many of them are under 1CT, and I assume that the quality specs vary. These threads would make you believe that there is something wrong with that.
BunnyBride
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Re: 'drama' - who are we kidding?
Thank you for your post! Eloquent and honestly put..I couldn't have said it better myself
milana
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Re: 'drama' - who are we kidding?
threads like that are BOUND to turn out into a debate about whose ring is better...i mean did you girls read some of the stuff that was mentioned on there....
things such as 'my jewler even agrees why would you want a 3ct huge ring that is cloudy when you can have a 1ct. pure and perfectly cut ring'
hmmmmm...
Or to say a 4ct cloudy ring is worthless compared to my 2ct internally flawless WHAT now rings are worthless?
I think its disgusting and sad
milana
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Re: 'drama' - who are we kidding?
Posted by portjeffbride
by the way, the alpaca thing was genius.... love the avatar pics I wish I could have participated
we were just trying to lighten things up a little bit
BunnyBride
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Re: 'drama' - who are we kidding?
The whole topic is vulgar. Post your rings if you want but don't start talking about how much they cost. It shows a real lack of modesty and class.
portjeffbride
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Re: 'drama' - who are we kidding?
if I got an aluminum ring with a chip of glass in it, I would still be the happiest person on earth.......
and no, that's not only becuase I was 34 and single
I frankly thought it was the cutest thing on earth that DH actually read-up about jewelry and rings... I'm sure he was soooo interested in the topic
milana
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Re: 'drama' - who are we kidding?
precisely, the reason we SHOULD all be happy with what we got is because we love the man who gave it us...but apparantly not all women are happy with they have and feel the need to defend themselves and their ring
Summer07Bride
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Re: 'drama' - who are we kidding?
Posted by milana
precisely, the reason we SHOULD all be happy with what we got is because we love the man who gave it us...but apparantly not all women are happy with they have and feel the need to defend themselves and their ring
I agree completely. I have been MIA since the school year started, but when I read the thread - I was like are you kidding me?
PegaLega
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Re: 'drama' - who are we kidding?
This my ring, and its the best cause I get a new one every day and different flavors too
This my ring, and its the best cause I get a new one every day and different flavors too
my husband gave me RINGworm when we got engaged... does that count???
Future Mrs.
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Re: 'drama' - who are we kidding?
Posted by PegaLega
This my ring, and its the best cause I get a new one every day and different flavors too
PRICELESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Very very funny.......
However, I must say that I think that thread was the must UNCLASSY thing I have ever said.
And as they say.....MONEY DOESN'T BUY CLASS!!!!
PegaLega
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Re: 'drama' - who are we kidding?
Posted by Future Mrs.
Posted by PegaLega
This my ring, and its the best cause I get a new one every day and different flavors too
PRICELESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Very very funny.......
However, I must say that I think that thread was the must UNCLASSY thing I have ever said.
And as they say.....MONEY DOESN'T BUY CLASS!!!!
So true!!!!
Aug07OFCbride
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Re: 'drama' - who are we kidding?
sherrye- thx for this post. i couldnt have put it any better myself. i read through the 08 thread, and I was so grossed out (until the alpaca girls rocked it, haha).
i have to be honest with you. my ring has never been anything more to me than symbolic of the commitment nate made to me. it sounds cliche but im serious. and the last thing i do when interacting with another woman is spend time comparing my ring to hers or even noticing it for that matter. I could care less and I have a million other things going on in my mind at a given moment! i was so surprised to read how some ppl view rings and diamonds. maybe im naive, i never gave it that much importance in my life! but im glad for that. i am attached to certain material things, thats only human ...but, my goodness!, the drama that comes from talking about a ring...whew. we can't take em when we're gone ladies! take away the ring and you still have the couple and what the marriage means. its just a symbol! i mean more to my husband than any ring could show and vice versa.
Dolce19
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Re: 'drama' - who are we kidding?
I think that everyone needs to realize that this is a message board. There are hundreds of girls on here and everyone thinks differently and not everything posted is always going to be politically correct. Do I think it is rude to make comments like some of the girls did on that board...yes I do. But am I suprised...absolutely not. You are going to get alot of people on here...and not everyone is going to agree or like what is being said. But..I think that is what makes this board fun. You get all types. JMO.
