engagement parties

I wouldn't mind them as much if the couple was actually paying for their own wedding BUT everyone is DH's family has one yet NONE of them pay for their own weddings!!!

Generally speaking I think E-parties are a nice idea and a fun way for the extended family and friends of the intended couple to meet.

However...sometimes I hear of these e-parties at places where I could not even afford to have my wedding and sometimes they sound like a bit much. An e-party shouldn't be on par with the wedding.

Mine got a little carried away thanks to my mom (I had a hall, DJ, open bar, etc. ) and the fact that my family looks for any excuse to have a party...but it was still low-key in comparison to the wedding.

Also, IMO couples should NOT register before an e-party and gifts should not be expected at an e-party. Especially not cash gifts. It's nice if you get them, especially cash, but if you make it about that then it does seem like a fundraiser for your wedding.

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Posted by Soon2bMsZ

I wouldn't mind them as much if the couple was actually paying for their own wedding BUT everyone is DH's family has one yet NONE of them pay for their own weddings!!!

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Why do you care if they are paying for their own wedding or not?

I wanted to have an engagement party but didn't (the timing wasn't right). I wanted to have one because I was so excited about getting married and wanted to celebrate with my friends and family. It wasn't for the gifts.

ETA: Alot of people assume they are for the money and I just think that is not true.

I loved the response 'fundraiser'.

It depends- in my family there have been small e-parties for close family and good friends. I have no problem with those and find them a good way for people to get acquainted. The huge ones that rival weddings are a different story.

I just don't think its fair to family & friends for someone ( Im talking about DH's cousins) to have their Eparty at a place like Russos on the bay and EXPECT cash gifts ( b/c this is the only thing I have ever seen given at an Eparty)
Its one thing if you need the money to fund your wedding but its another thing to have 2 wedding type affairs when you are paying for none of it and its all profits .. if thats the case just have the wedding!!

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Posted by lullabella

ETA: Alot of people assume they are for the money and I just think that is not true.

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In my experiance they have been just to make money... why else would you invite 100 + people. If it was really to 'celebrate' the engagement it would be small, somewhat simple and just CLOSE friends and family. Not everyone who will be invited to the wedding.

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Posted by Soon2bMsZ

I just don't think its fair to family & friends for someone ( Im talking about DH's cousins) to have their Eparty at a place like Russos on the bay and EXPECT cash gifts ( b/c this is the only thing I have ever seen given at an Eparty)
Its one thing if you need the money to fund your wedding but its another thing to have 2 wedding type affairs when you are paying for none of it and its all profits .. if thats the case just have the wedding!!

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I understand your point of view.
I guess I don't look at parties like that. I look at them as an opportunity to get together with friends and family to celebrate.

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Posted by lullabella

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Posted by Soon2bMsZ

I just don't think its fair to family & friends for someone ( Im talking about DH's cousins) to have their Eparty at a place like Russos on the bay and EXPECT cash gifts ( b/c this is the only thing I have ever seen given at an Eparty)
Its one thing if you need the money to fund your wedding but its another thing to have 2 wedding type affairs when you are paying for none of it and its all profits .. if thats the case just have the wedding!!

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I understand your point of view.
I guess I don't look at parties like that. I look at them as an opportunity to get together with friends and family to celebrate.

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I guess I don't see it that way b/c dh has a decent sized family and it feels like at least every single month there is a 'reason' for a gift giving party. Bridal shower, engagement party, weddings, baby shower, christening, anniversary party. It just never ends in his family and its very hard for us financially. I just think in the case of DH's family they should be more reasonable then to celebrate EVERYTHING & ANYTHING

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Posted by Soon2bMsZ

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Posted by lullabella

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Posted by Soon2bMsZ

I just don't think its fair to family & friends for someone ( Im talking about DH's cousins) to have their Eparty at a place like Russos on the bay and EXPECT cash gifts ( b/c this is the only thing I have ever seen given at an Eparty)
Its one thing if you need the money to fund your wedding but its another thing to have 2 wedding type affairs when you are paying for none of it and its all profits .. if thats the case just have the wedding!!

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I understand your point of view.
I guess I don't look at parties like that. I look at them as an opportunity to get together with friends and family to celebrate.

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I guess I don't see it that way b/c dh has a decent sized family and it feels like at least every single month there is a 'reason' for a gift giving party. Bridal shower, engagement party, weddings, baby shower, christening, anniversary party. It just never ends in his family and its very hard for us financially. I just think in the case of DH's family they should be more reasonable then to celebrate EVERYTHING & ANYTHING

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Every month, that is tough when you have a big family. Our families aren't too huge so it isn't that bad. Plus we are kind of spread around so we don't get together too much aside from these types of celebrations.

We had one, but a small one for a few reasons.

1.) We wanted our siblings and closest friends and families to meet at least once before the big day, so people would at least know who the family members were.

2.) I did not want a shower and was very firm about this. So this gave the people who really wanted to have some sort of celebration something to do, and it gave me a celebration that included DH and the other men I am close with.

3.) It was a BBQ in my sister's backyard - very laid back and fun.

We didn't give out registry info - if people wanted to know, they called my sister and asked. We just wanted to celebrate our engagement and give people the chance to meet.

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Posted by lullabella

Every month, that is tough when you have a big family. Our families aren't too huge so it isn't that bad. Plus we are kind of spread around so we don't get together too much aside from these types of celebrations.

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See I am the same way. I have such a small family and there is never anything going on to celebrate so when something does finally come up Im really excited about it and ready to go see/party with my family.
But for the last year DHs family has been one thing after another. In the last 6 months I have been to 3 christenings, a baby shower, and an engagement party ( not including my own wedding or bridal shower) From May - Nov we have at least one wedding and one shower or engagement party every single month.

Fundraisers


We had one. I registered cause Id rather gifts then Money


BUT TRUE ETTIQUETE SAYS YOUR NOT SUPPOSE TO GET ANY GIFTS.