I have a friend that I have been friends with since HS (10+ years) who came to Italy for my wedding.
I honestly don't know why she even came....
Our friendship had been 'losing steam' for a while, but it seemed we both were making attempts to keep it going. She seemed excited at times about coming to the wedding, but not for the right reasons. She seemed more excited about taking a trip to Italy with her new BF than coming to my wedding. She never once was involved with plans, never called to ask questions, see how I was etc....I asked her to go to dress fittings and other appt's and she was always busy!! No big deal, I tried not to take it personally and realize that her life didn't revolve around my wedding.
Well fast forward to Italy....I called her hotel and left message that if she wanted to come early to the villa where I was getting ready the morning of the wedding, it would mean a lot. She never came and never mentioned it - and yes, I know she got the message.
She never once, at the wedding, said anything nice about how I looked or about the wedding in general and barely even spoke to me.
Throughout the trip, she was bent on forging friendships with my DH's family....cousins, friends, even his sisters all the while ignoring me.
Now - that we are back, we haven't spoken since the wedding....I am yet to even receive a CARD!!!!!...and to make matters worse, she has started contacting DH's cousins, sisters etc...asking them about getting toegether!!!!!!! Can you believe that???? She wants to hang out with my new family!!!!! (sidenote - none of them have taken her up on the offer and think she's a bit crazy- but still!)
I am so hurt!! and even though everyone says it's jealousy.....I am so pre-occupied by her hurtful behavior!!!!
michele31
Posted:
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Re: Feelings hurt and need advice....LONG
I wouldn't confront her since that implies having a fight almost. But I am shocked at her behavior. I agree with Stef that many single people are bored by wedding details so that wouldn't upset me. But her trying to become friends with your SILs and DH's cousins is just plain odd IMO. I would figure out if this friendship is really worth all of the trouble of even making that phone call or not. If it is, then call her and tell her that you are hurt by her behavior. If you would rather just let the friendship go, then ignore her behavior and don't bother with her anymore.
MarciaD
Posted:
Member since
Re: Feelings hurt and need advice....LONG
It sounds like jealousy to me as well.
Confronting her will help you clear your mind and find out if it is just a misunderstanding.
But, beware, she is likely to get defensive and say nasty things-- so be prepared. If you can met up with her in a public place where she can't cause a scene, and have you DH somewhere close by to give you support if she says hurtful things.
It sounds like you have been giving this friendship a lot of consideration, but she might not be worthy....
Ronnie&Theresa
Posted:
Member since
Re: Feelings hurt and need advice....LONG
Is she a drug addict jessie?
Maybe she needs somehelp or she is so miserable in her own life this is her way of reaching out to you!
Pity the fool who isn't close to you.
Marcella is my best friend .. I LOVE HER!
I hate jealous girls.. They are always are haters just either confront them or cut her ass out!
Sage10.03
Posted:
Member since
Re: Feelings hurt and need advice....LONG
Thanks for all the advice ladies....
T - no, no worries on the drug front....I am sure about that. But you're right about one thing....and that's the jealousy!
Basically, everyones advice jsut confirmed my own feelings. She has become a very jealous person and we have grown apart.
I no longer feel the need to absorb all of the negative aspects our frienship fosters....since I was the one bearing the brunt, and it was obvious she could care less.
I am just ready to cut the ties, and quit feeling bad about it!!!
