Friday afternoon funnies. Enjoy

===PALM SUNDAY===

It was Palm Sunday and, because of a sore throat,
five-year-old Johnny stayed home from church with
a sitter. When the family returned home, they were
carrying several palm branches. The boy asked what
they were for. 'People held them over Jesus' head as
he walked by.'

'Wouldn't you know it, ' the boy fumed, 'The one
Sunday I don't go, He shows up!'

===CHILDREN'S SERMON===

One Easter Sunday morning as the minister was
preaching the children's sermon, he reached into
his bag of props and pulled out an egg. He pointed
at the egg and asked the children, 'What's in Here?'

'I know' a little boy exclaimed.....'Pantyhose!'

===MATRIMONIAL PROPOSAL===

The prospective father-in-law asked, 'Young man, can
you support a family?' The surprised groom-to-be replied,
'Well, no. I was just planning to support your daughter.
The rest of you will have to fend for yourselves.'

===JUST CURIOUS===

Little Johnny asked his grandma how old she was. Grandma
answered, '39 and holding.' Johnny thought for a moment, and
then said, 'And how old would you be if you let go?'

===THE TITHING===

A little boy in church for the first time watched as
the ushers passed around the offering plates. When they came
near his pew, the boy said loudly, 'Don't pay for me Daddy. I'm
under five.'

===THE BLESSING===

The Sunday School teacher asked, 'Now, Johnny, tell me, do you
say prayers before eating?' 'No sir,' he replied, 'We don't have
to. My mom is a good cook!'

===WELCOME TO OUR HOME===

'Oh, I sure am happy to see you, ' the little boy said to his
grandmother on his mother's side. 'Now maybe Daddy will do the
trick he has been promising us. The grandmother was curious.
'What trick is that?' she asked. 'I heard him tell Mommy that he
would climb the walls if you came to visit us again', the little
boy answered.

=== The Mood Ring ===

My husband bought me a mood ring the other day. When I'm in a
good mood it turns green. When I'm in a bad mood, it leaves a red
mark on his forehead.

=== The Water Pistol ===

When my three-year-old son opened the birthday gift from his
grandmother, he discovered a water pistol. He squealed with
delight and headed for the nearest sink. I was not so pleased. I
turned to Mom and said, 'I'm surprised at you. Don't you remember
how we used to drive you crazy with water guns?' Mom smiled
and then replied. . . 'I remember.'

=== Half Price ===

US Air recently introduced a special half fare for wives who
accompanied their husbands on business trips. Expecting valuable
testimonials, the PR department sent out letters to all the wives
of businessmen who had used the special rates, asking how they enjoyed
their trip. Letters are still pouring in asking, 'What trip?'

=== Life After Death ===

'Do you believe in life after death?' the boss asked one of his
employees. 'Yes, Sir,' the new employee replied. 'Well, then,
that makes everything just fine,' the boss went on. 'After you
left early yesterday to go to your grandmother's funeral, she
stopped in to see you.'