Gift Etiquette Question

My friends son recently got married, and they are tackling the TY's. The Bride and Groom are concerned that some of the cards, which may or may not have contained cash or checks, were stolen. Some other guests, who they believe gave card gifts, but those cards never showed up.

How do the B&G figure out which ones were stolen, which ones were planning on giving gifts later (they do know there is 1 yr period) which ones did not give a gift? They aren't out to shake their guests down for gifts, but don't know how to ask tactfully.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated!

Re: Gift Etiquette Question

Whoa - that's a tough one! I think your friend should write to Emily Post, miss manners herself!
Sorry I couldn't help!

Re: Gift Etiquette Question

Tell your friend to send TY to anyone that came to the wedding, thanking them for sharing the day-DO NOT MENTION GIFTS, for three reasons:
1. If they gave cash and it was stolen, it has no benefit to telling the guest. The money is gone, and you can't get it back, so why make the guest feel bad.
2. If they gave a check and it was stolen, they will get in touch with the bride and groom when it isn't cashed, and at that time the couple can tell the guest that some envelopes were stolen, etc.
3. If they didn't give a gift (they were going to give it later or they just didn't), they still need to the thanked for attending the wedding.

hope this helps....