Girls who didnt live with DH before marriage

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Posted by Mici n KC

DH will clean the house, but on his schedule. He doesn't care if there are dirty dishes in the sink or if nothing is dusted for a month + or the tub is scrubbed. I am very much like you and trying to make our house a home and it's a lot of work. Do I want to cook when I get home from work? Or go through my cleaning routine? Absolutely not, but I do it because I don't want to live in an un-vaccuumed, dust-filled, pigsty. I don't nag DH, but I do just ask him if he would please vaccuum the den during commercials. This seems to work well. I'll pull out the vaccuum and leave it in the den and during commercials he does the den and formal living room! I hate having to ask, but I'm not nagging and I'm not doing everything either.

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this is exactly us- if I ask him to do something, he will do it- but WHEN he feels like it- and that can be days. So sometimes, I just end up doing it myself, just to get it done. I guess I just have to learn to negotiate better with him- maybe trading sex for vaccuming will help lol

If I had a dollar for everytime I said 'I am going to sleep at my parents!' Yea the cleaning/house thing is the biggest adjustment.
I lived alone for 7 years so I had everything just so. Then he gets mad if I put his stuff away. Like I am going to have them sit there for a month.

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Posted by futuremrsfab

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Posted by Mici n KC

DH will clean the house, but on his schedule. He doesn't care if there are dirty dishes in the sink or if nothing is dusted for a month + or the tub is scrubbed. I am very much like you and trying to make our house a home and it's a lot of work. Do I want to cook when I get home from work? Or go through my cleaning routine? Absolutely not, but I do it because I don't want to live in an un-vaccuumed, dust-filled, pigsty. I don't nag DH, but I do just ask him if he would please vaccuum the den during commercials. This seems to work well. I'll pull out the vaccuum and leave it in the den and during commercials he does the den and formal living room! I hate having to ask, but I'm not nagging and I'm not doing everything either.

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this is exactly us- if I ask him to do something, he will do it- but WHEN he feels like it- and that can be days. So sometimes, I just end up doing it myself, just to get it done. I guess I just have to learn to negotiate better with him- maybe trading sex for vaccuming will help lol

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Yeah, I hate that too bc that's what DH does. So now I just bring the vacuum to him or tell him to bring the laundry downstairs. When it's in front of his face, he does it lol. When he gives me lip I just say, well then YOU can do all the food shopping!

We did not live together before and we have not started bickering at all yet. I mean of course we get into stupid little things but we cant help but laugh at eachother. I am waiting for that tohappen.!

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Posted by jtgarsik

u didn't think it was going to be ALL peaches & cream now did u??? lol. i'm just kidding. u are not alone - EVERYONE goes through an adjustment period! You have to try to remember to pick ur battles, no matter how frustrating or annoying it is. I remember our first little bicker was over where our shoe rack was going to go. about 30seconds after we started argueing we both just said 'we are NOT agueing over this!' and started laughing at each other.lol. since then..we've always done that. nip it in the bud if it's something small & petty. TALK and above all explain and listen. communication is so important. one of the girls on here posted something great the other day that her mom had told her...something along the lines of 'he may not do the laundry, and he may leave a mess wherever he goes, but at the end of the day HE LOVES YOU..and would protect you, and do everything in his power to keep you from harm. At the end of the day, that kind of love is more important than where the laundry goes'.

and it's SO TRUE.! just hang in there...things will get better as u learn each other's ways/quirks/habits. again, just talk & LISTEN. and remember - compromise is a HUGE part of marraige!

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Wow, I love that quote!

I find I miss my alone time. When we first moved in I loved spending every second with DH but after awhile you need to some downtime. You need to watch a chick flick on TV without him judging you. That's just an example. I tell DH that I'm 'overstimulated'. We joke but it's the truth.

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Posted by Autumn08

I find I miss my alone time. When we first moved in I loved spending every second with DH but after awhile you need to some downtime. You need to watch a chick flick on TV without him judging you. That's just an example. I tell DH that I'm 'overstimulated'. We joke but it's the truth.

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that's true. One thing that certainly changed was my ability to watch chick flicks. lol. He'll watch one with me if i really want, but I feel bad making him do that. This change though is not all to blame on the fact that I'm married & living with him, it's because we moved away from my sisters who I ALWAYS watch those kinds of movies with. So i'm still kind of 'alone' here. Not that DH isn't the best company ever - but sometimes ya just need your girls too

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Posted by Autumn08

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Posted by jtgarsik

u didn't think it was going to be ALL peaches & cream now did u??? lol. i'm just kidding. u are not alone - EVERYONE goes through an adjustment period! You have to try to remember to pick ur battles, no matter how frustrating or annoying it is. I remember our first little bicker was over where our shoe rack was going to go. about 30seconds after we started argueing we both just said 'we are NOT agueing over this!' and started laughing at each other.lol. since then..we've always done that. nip it in the bud if it's something small & petty. TALK and above all explain and listen. communication is so important. one of the girls on here posted something great the other day that her mom had told her...something along the lines of 'he may not do the laundry, and he may leave a mess wherever he goes, but at the end of the day HE LOVES YOU..and would protect you, and do everything in his power to keep you from harm. At the end of the day, that kind of love is more important than where the laundry goes'.

and it's SO TRUE.! just hang in there...things will get better as u learn each other's ways/quirks/habits. again, just talk & LISTEN. and remember - compromise is a HUGE part of marraige!

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Wow, I love that quote!

I find I miss my alone time. When we first moved in I loved spending every second with DH but after awhile you need to some downtime. You need to watch a chick flick on TV without him judging you. That's just an example. I tell DH that I'm 'overstimulated'. We joke but it's the truth.

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Couldn't have said it better myself...I never realized how much I came to love my time. Even if just to read or watch endless hours of FOod Network or do absolutely nothing. In the end it's all a balance of what you need and what he needs...hence the compromise part...and it is still hard, 219 days later...although it is getting better, it is definitely an adjustment. Don't worry, you and DH are just having normal growing pains!!!