Give a wedding gift to someone who didn't give to you.

mltm914 Posted: Apr 26, 2005 07:44 PM

Give a wedding gift to someone who didn't give to you.

One of my cousin's is getting married soon. He and his fiancee did not give us a wedding gift, but came to the wedding. Part of me would feel guilty about not giving a gift, but the other part of me feels 'you give what you get.' So, should I give a little something or nothing at all. We are on a tight budget to begin with. We have a second wedding that night, have been to two weddings these past two weeks and four more to go this year!

AJsMommy122 Posted: Apr 26, 2005 08:08 PM

Re: Give a wedding gift to someone who didn't give to you.

Before my wedding I would have said yes give a gift. two wrongs dont make a right. But since my wedding I have learned that I am going to treat people the same exact way they treated us. If they didn't feel bad about doing that at your wedding you shouldn't feel bad about doing it back. One of DH's cousins could not make it but didnt even send a card that said congratulations or at least right something nice on the rsvp besides 0 will attend. He is getting married next year and DH and I have already agreed that there is no way we are attending that wedding! My time and money is just as precious as his.

shamrock12472 Posted: Apr 26, 2005 09:02 PM

Re: Give a wedding gift to someone who didn't give to you.

I have to say that I wouldn't give a gift. I would go to the wedding, if that is what we want, but would see no need to give more then a card. If they don't feel a wedding is an occassion to give a gift then they should not expect gifts from others.

BCTM33 Posted: Apr 26, 2005 09:54 PM

Re: Give a wedding gift to someone who didn't give to you.

I would skip the gift, but I completely understand your trepidation about it!

lullabella Posted: Apr 27, 2005 09:35 AM

Re: Give a wedding gift to someone who didn't give to you.

I couldn't attend a wedding and not give a gift. That is just me. I wouldn't give the same gift as I normally give though. I think if you are that torn over it you should just skip the wedding all together.

tourist Posted: Apr 27, 2005 09:49 AM

Re: Give a wedding gift to someone who didn't give to you.

I would give a gift.

TwoBugs Posted: Apr 27, 2005 09:51 AM

Re: Give a wedding gift to someone who didn't give to you.

Posted by tourist

I would give a gift.

Me too. And then I would gloat for eternity knowing that I was the bigger person...

JimmysBride Posted: Apr 27, 2005 09:52 AM

Re: Give a wedding gift to someone who didn't give to you.

I would go to the wedding - if you want to - but I would not give a gift. Especially since you are tight on money at the moment. They should definitely not be expecting a gift from you two.

mrswask Posted: Apr 27, 2005 09:56 AM

Re: Give a wedding gift to someone who didn't give to you.

Posted by JimmysBride

I would go to the wedding - if you want to - but I would not give a gift. Especially since you are tight on money at the moment. They should definitely not be expecting a gift from you two.

I agree - like others are saying - they didn't give you - even a minimal amount!

Darcy Posted: Apr 27, 2005 10:15 AM

Re: Give a wedding gift to someone who didn't give to you.

i would go based on your budget. When I went to my cousins wedding, we could not afford much of a gift. However, at our wedding they gave us 300 dollars. So I would never go by you get what you give. I would go by budet and heart.

dpli Posted: Apr 27, 2005 11:29 AM

Re: Give a wedding gift to someone who didn't give to you.

Posted by TwoBugs

Posted by tourist

I would give a gift.

Me too. And then I would gloat for eternity knowing that I was the bigger person...

Ditto

Bebalina Posted: Apr 27, 2005 11:40 AM

Re: Give a wedding gift to someone who didn't give to you.

i say go to the wedding, buy a card,
and give it them empty!

but if u really wanna give a gift...did u receive a gift, u wanna regift?
i know tacky but if its non returnable, this situation calls for it

MCDO15 Posted: Apr 27, 2005 12:40 PM

Re: Give a wedding gift to someone who didn't give to you.

Posted by Bebalina

i say go to the wedding, buy a card,
and give it them empty!

but if u really wanna give a gift...did u receive a gift, u wanna regift?
i know tacky but if its non returnable, this situation calls for it

this sounds fair

Sweetness Posted: Apr 27, 2005 03:06 PM

Re: Give a wedding gift to someone who didn't give to you.

I would go to the wedding and just give them a card. If guilt was getting me, I would give them no more than $50 bucks. Sometimes being the better person isn't all that's it's cracked up to be. I have been the better person many times towards my cousins over the last year and half and have been d*cked everytime!

It's really up to you, and the kind of relationship you have.

stacy&joe Posted: Apr 27, 2005 05:31 PM

Re: Give a wedding gift to someone who didn't give to you.

Posted by Darcy

i would go based on your budget. When I went to my cousins wedding, we could not afford much of a gift. However, at our wedding they gave us 300 dollars. So I would never go by you get what you give. I would go by budet and heart.

I agree. I think weddings are a day to celebrate the bride and groom, but it's a bonus for guests to see family and friends they may not have seen in awhile. If you have family or friends you and your DH want to see and celebrate with, by all means, I would go. But, since you're on such a tight budget, and you have so many weddings to go to, I would give a small gift - a token, really- whatever you can afford - and a card. I certainly wouldn't give a gift like you regularly do. They really won't have anything to say about your gift, will they? And you did the right thing. If you don't go, however, no gift. No need, JMO.

butterfly20 Posted: Apr 27, 2005 05:59 PM

Re: Give a wedding gift to someone who didn't give to you.

id give a card.....

FireIslandLove Posted: Apr 27, 2005 08:46 PM

Re: Give a wedding gift to someone who didn't give to you.

I think you should give them a card and write in it 'You'll get your gift when we get ours...' I'm kidding, wouldn't that be great though? I would go and give a gift, but less than I nornally give.