Going on 4 days of ......(Need to vent sorry)

NO SLEEP!!!!!!!!!!! well like 15 mins here and there. Ive been at the hospital with DH all week sleeping in a very horrible chair My back hurts im SO tired and want real food not hospital food. i wont leave DH side, you have to see him! you wouldnt want to leave your DH either if u saw him like this I want to take DH home so we can sleep in our bed together again. I went to work today and man i shouldnt of. I was falling a sleep in my classroom. my boss sent me home early she knew in a way not a bad way but a way i wanted to be by DH side. DH isnt recovering like i wished he would and i really need to be here for him. I fall asleep for 15-20mins and wake up, and i feel like ive sleep for hours but really havent. oh can i just say im so happy im aloud to use my laptop in the room....FREE WIFI! lol this keeps me busy.
Last night DH had a high fever and he isnt aloud to eat or drink anything till his passes gas(TMI) he is dieing over here for water and i feel so bad that i cant give it to him he hasnt ate or drank anything since monday. im praying he passes gas tomorrow so he can at least have some water! this whole thing is killing me! i feel so run down and not myself but everyone keeps telling me im doing so good which makes me feel good but man oh man!!!! i have to every half an hour give DH this breathing machine to blow in so right there i cant sleep for more then a half an hour. I have to rub his legs a lot to because he isnt moving around a lot and they dont want him to get blood clots. I gave him a sponge bath this afternoon and he liked it lol he is getting back to himself again which is good but still tuff to see him in so much pain. i saw his scar and omg it was so huge! its from his sternum to his belly button. he wont look at it he is scared to see what it looks like.

im def not going to work tomorrow i really need to get some sleep before i really crash! but i really shouldnt be taking off espeically since this is my 1st year teaching! but my boss has been so nice about all this and she paid me for the time i took off and i didnt have to use my vaca pay which was so nice. think ill leave here when my mother in law gets here in the morning go home sleep for a few hours straight then come back here and hangout with him till the passion party, he is pushing me to go and i feel so bad im going out to a party and he is in here but he did make a good point that ive been in this hospital since tuesday and i should go out for a few hours and have fun but i feel so bad!!! so i told him ill go for like 2 hrs but then im coming right back to him. all in alll this whole thing has done some great things for us, we have become soo much closer(us and our families) and we are making sure we are living life to the fullest now. he stopped smoking in november when he found out he was sick, we have both been trying really hard to eat healthy and we make sure to have OUR time everynight just us too no phones tvs nothing for a few hours. im sitting here typing and watching him sleep and it kills me that a 25 year old is going through this. why him?! why my Dh? he is a great person and i cant believe this happened to him! im sorry for the vent i just dont have anyone to vent to like this, i mean i have my family but you know you sometimes can only vent to them so much. i just want sleep and for DH to start to walk so he can go home! the doctor says he prob wont go home till monday or tuesday so ill be here all weekend if anyone wants to have a party in his room with me LOL just kidding. im praying really hard that for some reason he gets to go home on friday but i honestly dont see that happening ok im going to go and give DH his breathing machine and rub his legs. sorry again for a vent. needed to let it out

EDIT:::: wow i cant type or sleep lol i think it maybe have to do with im very sleepy lol

OMG I am so sorry you guys are having to go through this!!!
Please try and get some sleep!! You will be more good to your DH rested. I will def keep you both in my thoughts and prayers. And if you ever need to talk, please don't hesitate!!!!!!!!!!!

aww---you poor thing!!!!!



you are a GREAT person and wonderful wife---and your DH is lucky to have you by his side. i know its tough---but you can do it.

i know it has to be so hard to see him like that--especially when he is wanting to eat/drink. my mom was hopsitalized for a week--and for 5 1/2 days she also was not permitted to have any food/water at all. i HATED it cause they would pass her room with the lunch/dinner carts each day and she's just want a taste!!!

its hard--but the docs know best--at least he's being hydrated and maintained by the iv.

stay strong chica!!!

hang in there. i bet its very very tough (understatement) to see him like this and to go on such little sleep. ill be keeping you and DH in my . im really sorry to hear that he's not recovering as fast as hoped, but its so encouraging to hear that God has been blessing you guys in some great ways through this... bringing you closer and so on. i really hope you have so much fun at the PP. its so sweet that DH wants you to get out and have a good time too.

I know this is a very rough time for you guys (understatement of the century!), but I know that you will pull through it ... your hubby will heal, it will just take some time ... he is a very lucky man to have you in his life to help him through this time and be there for him.

I wish I was going to the PP tomorrow so I could give you a BIG HUG

You know we're all pulling for you guys, you both are in all the 07ers prayers!!!

Oh Tara..... I can't imagine what you are going thru... You have such strength and that will keep you going.. You are a good girl!!!

Dh will be up and around soon enough... it will only get better from here...

Tara, i know i dont know you well.. and met you once for a little while at the last GTG...but i just want to say that i really admire you for your courage, and strength! i cant imagine what you are going through , and yet you are staying so positive and making the best out of it !!
we are all thinking about you and praying for your DH ...

Tara, you are a brave, sweet, wonderful person and I am in awe of your courage. I know how hard it is to find the silver lining in a lousy situation when you're tired, frustrated, and out of your comfort zone. But you're doing great for your DH and he is so lucky to have you. He's going to get a little better every day, and you'll be home before you know it. Have TONS of fun tonight and don't feel guilty about it.

Tara Im sorry that he isnt doing so well! If you need anything you know you can call-at anytime-but at least you can keep yourself somewhat busy on the computer. for you...and some for James!!

Tara, You are doing a wonderful job taking care of James. Thank God the surgery is over and now you guys can focus on getting better. We can all learn so much from you, I think your new appreciation of each other and living life to the fullest is often a lesson many of us learn to late. How great you saw a small silver lining in this awful situation. I am looking forward to seeing you tonight, you need and deserve a little break.
I am keeping you in my thoughts and continued prayers for James

Tara....you are a wonderful wife....and a very strong person. The best thing you could do is come on here and 'vent' (not really a vent) like this because the worse thing you could do is try to handle this all on your own. Even though this is an online forum....it's still good to get these words out and express how you are feeling.

You will get through this...you will & we are all here if you need anything.

It's good to get some fresh air, so I hope you try and make it tonight even if it ends up being for just an hour....it'll be good for you

Oh sweetie. You post made me cry. I'm so incredibly sorry for you and DH and your families!

I hope he gets better and recovers really quickly. I'll be praying for a very quick recovery.

Just so you know - it's really important that he doesnt' eat before he passes gas b/c if there is a blockage somewhere in his intestines, then the food will build up and it'll make things worse. But it takes most patients anywhere between 3-5 days to pass gas. This is a really hard waiting period but try to stay strong and you guys will get through this together.

With that said - I'm pretty sure you can give him ice chips and you can wet his mouth with a paper towel and have him suck on the paper towel to keep his mouth moist. His body is definitely getting hydrated b/c he has IV's giving him fluids but his mouth just feels dry b/c he hasn't been getting any food or liquids in orally. So ask the nurse about ice chips and a wet paper towel.

Also, for his legs, there are machines that hook ujp to the bed that do the leg squeezes for you. They work automatically so that you don't have to do it for him. It's great that you're helping out but if the hosp has these things - get them to put them on DH. It'll save you a lot of trouble and they're probably more effective than a leg massage.

If you have any questions at all....or just want to vent - I'm always here for you. Feel free to FM me sweetie.

I'm praying for you guys
I just know that everything will be ok!

I'm so sorry you have to go through this.

I remember being in the hospital with Steve... I wasn't allowed to stay there with him but I would get there first thing in the morning and wait for hours until they'd let me see him, and then stay until they literally had to have the doctors escort me out.

I know how hard it is to see your DH in pain. I remember how scary it was not knowing what was going to happen, and when Steve was in the ICU he could barely open his eyes, couldn't smile, couldn't talk... all I could do was just sit there and hold his hand and tell him that everything was going to be fine.

Please FM me if you ever need to talk. I know that what you are going through is so much more than what Steve and I went though... but I think I can understand, at least partially, what you're feeling.

I always felt like with us... Steve was the rock. And I was always the emotional one.... But for that one time in our lives, I had to be the strong one and show him that everything was going to be okay. We have each other and that's what matters.

You have been so strong during all of this and I'm sure your DH knows just how lucky he is to have you as his wife! I really hope he's able to go home soon so you guys can at least be a little bit more comfy. You definitely deserve a few hours of 'you' time and to be silly or have fun.

Tara, my heart goes out to you & James. You guys are going through a really rough time and dealing with so much more than people normally have to deal with. But like you said it's brought you closer & made you make changes in your lives (Congrats to James on quitting smoking), so try to look at it as a stepping stone you have to cross.

I give you so much credit, sweetie. I know how hard it is to watch someone you love in pain and how helpless you must feel at times. But you're there for James and he knows that. And your love & support are definitely getting him through this.

Please go home & get some rest today; it won't do either of you any good if you get sick. You both remain in my prayers that James feels better soon & gets to go home and the two of you can really start living your life. Take care!!