Having a meltdown bc of my job

I cover memorial sloan kettering and yesterday during a meeting with my boss in the hospital cafeteria I found myself sitting next to a teenage cancer patient....totally bald, in a gown and mask and gloves. He was sitting with another young person (I'm guessing a friend visiting) and his dad. I was so distracted while my boss was speaking to me. The cafeteria is the least of my concerns. I spend most of my time up in the units...the different ICUs and critical care floors. It is getting the best of me.

I'm at sloan almost everyday and I used to volunteer on my own time in the peds unit but for some reason, it is hitting me harder than ever.

Maybe because DH and I are starting to consider when to start TTC and the thought of having to endure what these parents endure is overwhelming....???

Until I get a new job this is my daily reality. Any words of wisdom? Sorry for the random vent.

Re: Having a meltdown bc of my job

That will take a toll on anyone. I wish I had some words of wisdom for you. Just wanted to give you some hugs cause I can't find the words...

Re: Having a meltdown bc of my job

I give you a lot of credit for seeing that everyday... i agree, it could be because now your mind is thinking of it from a personal level then a professional level. With you and DH starting to think about TTC how could you not think about it from a parents perspective.

I dunno if there is anything one could say to make you sway your emotions one way or another - it just proves that you are human and have a good heart.

Maybe it was just one of those moments that really rock you - no explaination needed. You just have to do your best to disassociate with what's going on around you and focus on why you are there and that's for your job.

I hope you feel better about it soon!

Re: Having a meltdown bc of my job

awwww lots of for you

have you considered volunteering again? I would love to volunteer. If you're interested in doing it again, I would love to join you.

Re: Having a meltdown bc of my job

it's only human to have emotions ... if you felt nothing while looking at that, i'd be worried.

Re: Having a meltdown bc of my job

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Posted by latinaj

awwww lots of for you

have you considered volunteering again? I would love to volunteer. If you're interested in doing it again, I would love to join you.

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I always told myself I would start volunteering again as soon as I finished my graduate degree and I JUST finished!

I used to go Mondays from 6-9 at night and most of the time was spent reading to kids, watching movies with teenagers, playing games if someone was up for it. Monday is also their inpatient Bingo night so for the patients feeling good enough it is a really fun time!

I was always fine when I was there and actually had lots of laughs with the kids...but I would usually cry as soon as I got out of the hospital front door and sob the whole way back to my apartment (about 10 blocks at the time). It was one of THE best experiences of my life. I'd love to talk and see if we could find a time that works for both of us! I think it will be really hard for me to go back but I think maybe it is exactly what I need at this point!

I could drive you back to Jersey! I always have my company car with me. Do you work in the city?

Re: Having a meltdown bc of my job

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Posted by Byrne2Be

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Posted by latinaj

awwww lots of for you

have you considered volunteering again? I would love to volunteer. If you're interested in doing it again, I would love to join you.

---

I always told myself I would start volunteering again as soon as I finished my graduate degree and I JUST finished!

I used to go Mondays from 6-9 at night and most of the time was spent reading to kids, watching movies with teenagers, playing games if someone was up for it. Monday is also their inpatient Bingo night so for the patients feeling good enough it is a really fun time!

I was always fine when I was there and actually had lots of laughs with the kids...but I would usually cry as soon as I got out of the hospital front door and sob the whole way back to my apartment (about 10 blocks at the time). It was one of THE best experiences of my life. I'd love to talk and see if we could find a time that works for both of us! I think it will be really hard for me to go back but I think maybe it is exactly what I need at this point!

I could drive you back to Jersey! I always have my company car with me. Do you work in the city?

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Going to send you FM!

Re: Having a meltdown bc of my job

I'm an onc nurse in North Carolina & I did pediatric-onc for at Columbia-Presbyterian...working in this field you will come to learn how unbelievably big your heart is.

Re: Having a meltdown bc of my job

Aww so sorry Heather. Its got to be be really tough.

Hang in there!