Honestly. . how would you feel. . . .(sorry long)

I have been MIA for ever. . my job is in sales and I'm always on the road but I happen to have off today and really need some honest advice.

Short version is DH cousin is almost ready to propose to his girlfriend. She is 21 and this is all she talks about! Cousin came by a few weeks ago and desceibed the ring, which sounded so similar to mine, but I didn't think too much of it until they were over on Sunday and I had a jewlery magazine out from the Sunday paper and gilfriend and I looked through it and she pointed out the ring she picked out. The ring was alomost a replica of mine, the stones maybe a little different, but seriously she looked everywhere to find a ring she liked and DH cousin got it for her. The ring looks identical to mine

So how would you feel?? Am I being a caddy b@itch. I am almost 9 years older then her and DH says she looks up to me but no reason to pick out a ring identical to mine!! There are a million rings out there and she picks the one like mine. Advice please!!!

Hey jules!

honestly---think of it this way--she liked your ring sooooooooooooo much that she wanted the same thing. don't let this bother you at all...rings are just rings. she can have your same exact ring and who cares? no biggie. you have yours---and thats all that matters. heck you can even think of it as 'i had it first and she's just copying cause its just a great ring.'

chalk this up to you maybe feeling she's a bit immature/young to be getting engaged and is focused on the wrong things----and the fact that she is copying your ring maybe makes you feel like she's focused more on the appearances and such vs. the committment of marriage.

nope--don't think you should upset by this in the slightest!

Hmm....

I am not trying to be mean or anything because I can understand that YOUR ring is special to you because its YOURS, so please don't take offense. You love a certain style and it is understandable you feel a little possessive about it. afterall, it is the ring you will wear forever and a symbol of your love.

HOWEVER..yea..you are def. being a little unreasonable. I mean honestly, these rings unelss they are custom made, all look pretty much the same with small differences here and there. Same for wedding dresses.

MY MOH and I actually liked the SAME dresses and she wanted a dress very similar to mine. I didn't care. I told her she should have what she wanted-diff weddings. But she chose to go with a very diff dress and was NEVER happy about it.

Some people just have similar tastes. On this website alone I have seen several dresses that looked SO MUCh like mine. Do I care? Not really. Their weddings were diff than mine and a dress isn't going to make or break mine.

Would you want your CIL or whatever she will be, to be unhappy with her ring just because you want to lay claim to it and any designs like it? Sounds a little silly when put that way doesn't it...

I wouldnt let it bother you. Her wedding will be her own and detract nothing from yours. Now if she went with same colors, same exact dresses lol...then MAYBE you could be a little miffed. Otherwise, let it go.

Hey Melissa!!

You made a great point. . yes I do think she is a bit immature not realizing marriage is a commitment and all that, but that being said the ring is a replica of mine. I know that she looked at a ton of rings and went to many places, and she decided on a ring that is my ring, as silly as it may sound DH picked out my ring for me and it is so sentimental to me. So you think I shouldn't be upset?

I dont' think I'd be too bothered by it.

It's obvious that she loves your ring and I guess it can be seen as flattery

With that said - I think i'm only saying this b/c it's your engagement ring and not clothes. I know ppl that copy my clothes all the time and I HATE IT!!!!!!!! I hate showing up somewhere with a copy cat purposely wearing the same thing I'm wearing. That I HATE!!!!

Now that I think of it - I might get pissed if someone copied my ring too - It hasn't happened yet and I hope it never does.

What is the style? Is it something that is popular right now, like an antique look? Or micropave? Or it a solitaire, of which many look alike?

Sure there are a lot of rings out there, but most of us wind up picking rings that are very similar.... There are only so many ways you can mount a diamond ring. I would not let it bother you in the slightest. I'd take it as a compliment. Its not like she's having her wedding at your RH, wearing your dress, with your flowers....

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Posted by Pokey4

Hey Melissa!!

You made a great point. . yes I do think she is a bit immature not realizing marriage is a commitment and all that, but that being said the ring is a replica of mine. I know that she looked at a ton of rings and went to many places, and she decided on a ring that is my ring, as silly as it may sound DH picked out my ring for me and it is so sentimental to me. So you think I shouldn't be upset?

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honestly chica---nah don't be upset at all. this is just one of those things you gotta let roll down your back. think of it this way--she looked high and lo for something original---and in the end your ring kept sticking out in her mind more than any others and she loved yours the most and had to have it. don't go the upset route---take the path of flattery. Rob's taste was so impeccable that someone else had to have it as well. no matter what happens---he picked out that ring for YOU and it doesn't matter who else has it.....you have your memory of it and that's it. who cares if the cousin has it?

gotta let this one go sweetie, no need to be upset over something thats not too big of a deal in the long run. sure you can be a little miffed that she copied ya--but hey--imitation is the most sincerest form of flattery

I wouldn't be bothered by it, take it as flattery, she loved what you picked, and probally was trying for something like that, and just couldn't so she just went with it.

Now if she shows up in the same dress, she needs an a$$ kicking

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Posted by carolinebr

What is the style? Is it something that is popular right now, like an antique look? Or micropave? Or it a solitaire, of which many look alike?

Sure there are a lot of rings out there, but most of us wind up picking rings that are very similar.... There are only so many ways you can mount a diamond ring. I would not let it bother you in the slightest. I'd take it as a compliment. Its not like she's having her wedding at your RH, wearing your dress, with your flowers....

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It's a round stone. .with more stones ect. I don't have a pic to show you. . let me see if I can find one. I just can't believe she picked out the same ring.

I think you have a right to feel however you feel! To be honest, I have a different (original) setting for my e-ring that I haven't seen anywhere else (seen similar ideas with split shanks, but not like mine) and if someone I knew chose the same setting somehow, I would be annoyed. If I had a more classic setting (like a solitaire or the very popular halo setting, etc) I would have to chaulk it up to the times. There's really nothing you can do at this point, and it is a form of flatery so try to look at it that way.

i, personally, wouldnt be upset. there are so many other things in this world to worry about and be preoccupied with. its one of those 'choose your battles' things. it takes NOTHING away from your ring, and nothing away from your love and marriage!! i know other girls have said it, but...be flattered, she loves your ring so much she wanted one just like it. bc of its meaning to you, its still one of a kind to you.

sorry its bothering you tho.

I see tons of girls everyday who have the same e-ring as me, doesnt bother me. maybe b/c its a little closer to home it bothers you but I would take it as a compliment.

Since I have a solitaire, many people have the same ring as me. I really would not sweat it. Don't let silly things bother you and this is really silly in the grand scheme of things. Not to say that you are being petty, but think of it that she thinks your ring is so gorgeous, she wanted a replica. You are a trendsetter! That is just a testament of how beautiful your ring is! Just think of it that way!

Basically what I am trying to say is that your ring is yours. There is a history behind every e-ring, and your ring is special because it is yours. Don't worry yourself about this!

Honetly I wouldn't really be bothered. If the ring is in a picture in the Sunday paper it must be a popular design. If she knew it was like your ring she would have said it looks just like yours and not have even bothered looking for one in the paper.

i would just let it go. There may be a million rings to choose from but the basic design of all of them is pretty much the same.

Hey there!! I would be honored that she liked your ring soooo much she chose one like yours!!! One of dh cousins...loved my bridal shower so much shes having her party there!!


BUT OMGGG. I cant stand when thats all girls talk about is the ring...I didnt even ask for a specific ring..dh just picked it out on his own...and got creative..


NOT all rings are identical...The clarity, the size....it will be diff somehow.

The ring...is a ring...its just a ring! She can talk about the RING and look at the RING and show Off that RING...but its not all about the ring...I know couples who have 25K rings, and couples who have 2k rings....and I cant tell the diff!!!! Inless its a designer brand.

Remember its about the relationship. Not the ring!!! So to answer your questions...I would be honored!!!

IMHO, I think you are overreacting a little.

Take it as a compliment and don't sweat the small stuff!

I'd call it good taste!!! Be flattered.

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Posted by MJDoc12

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Posted by Pokey4

Hey Melissa!!

You made a great point. . yes I do think she is a bit immature not realizing marriage is a commitment and all that, but that being said the ring is a replica of mine. I know that she looked at a ton of rings and went to many places, and she decided on a ring that is my ring, as silly as it may sound DH picked out my ring for me and it is so sentimental to me. So you think I shouldn't be upset?

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honestly chica---nah don't be upset at all. this is just one of those things you gotta let roll down your back. think of it this way--she looked high and lo for something original---and in the end your ring kept sticking out in her mind more than any others and she loved yours the most and had to have it. don't go the upset route---take the path of flattery. Rob's taste was so impeccable that someone else had to have it as well. no matter what happens---he picked out that ring for YOU and it doesn't matter who else has it.....you have your memory of it and that's it. who cares if the cousin has it?

gotta let this one go sweetie, no need to be upset over something thats not too big of a deal in the long run. sure you can be a little miffed that she copied ya--but hey--imitation is the most sincerest form of flattery

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ITA