How do I convince DH to buy the house I want? (kinda long)

skinny237 Posted: Mar 03, 2009 01:29 PM

How do I convince DH to buy the house I want? (kinda long)

We saw a house about 3 weeks ago. I fell in luv w/ it online. When we saw it, the house needed a ton of work. We would have to:

Gut and expand kitchen and bathroom
Add second bathroom
Needs new roof
Needs new plumbing
Needs new electric
Needs new furnace
Finish upstairs (currently slanted ceilings; need to dormer it out)

The house is selling for $299,000. Great area. Great property. (Slightly shorter commute for me too!) We would have to put $100,000 into the house to get it to work for us. DH is a carpenter and could either do a lot himself, or just have the company that he works for do the work.

We've looked at other houses for $375,000 - $400,000 and they are POS's too.

I bet I could get the fixer-upper for $270. If we put $100,000 into it, we would have a much more fabulous house than what we could get if we pay $400,000 for some of the other houses we've seen.

DH says he won't even consider it. I am in luv and think it would be the perfect house for us.

How the heck can I convince him?

futuremrsfab Posted: Mar 03, 2009 01:40 PM

Re: How do I convince DH to buy the house I want? (kinda long)

wow thats all major work! I can understand why your dh is reluctant. I guess look around and show him what the price range is for the perfect house and maybe that will work.

good luck!

MnM182008 Posted: Mar 03, 2009 01:45 PM

Re: How do I convince DH to buy the house I want? (kinda long)

Well, its going to be hard to convince him since he will end up having to do the work. I am with you though. I think if you love the house, and your commute is shorter, and you can take some time to do the work, its probably a good investment. I love the idea of working on the house together and making it your dream home, as long as the house had good bones, and its in a good area, all the work you put in will only increase the value of your house as long as you plan to stay in it for a while. Maybe you can just have a long talk with him and try to get him to see your side. Offer to help with the renovations, and maybe compromise on something that he wants, and let him get his way on some small things.

jerrys girl Posted: Mar 03, 2009 01:45 PM

Re: How do I convince DH to buy the house I want? (kinda long)

your husband would be doing the majority of the work so i understand his side.

joshisgirl Posted: Mar 03, 2009 01:46 PM

Re: How do I convince DH to buy the house I want? (kinda long)

try and get him to envision it how you do but using things he likes? like 'oh this is where we would put... (his wii, his recliner...:) )

teenigrrl Posted: Mar 03, 2009 01:52 PM

Re: How do I convince DH to buy the house I want? (kinda long)

it'll be really really hard. we were kinda in the same position - we saw a house that we LOVED. we brought his parents and brother along to see it to get their take, and in the end, it would have been way too much work. FIL is a carpenter, so would have done all the work for us, but it needed a new EVERYTHING! windows, roof, siding, kitchen, bathroom, and finishing the basement. we were looking at at least $100K to make this house liveable. the set up of the house was what was so amazing - it had everything we wanted. but we knew it was the smart thing to pass it up.

the house we did end up buying still needs a ton of work - new kitchen, new walls (it was like a medieval castle, no joke!), redo the basement, new hot water heater, new electric, etc. but it's doable projects that will not run us crazy and can all be done before the baby comes. it's also a lot less $$. FIL is still busting his a$$ for us every night and every weeked. to have him do that for a year would have been too much, and would have cost too much. once you start to open up walls, there are many hidden surprises you never would have expected.

bluekat16 Posted: Mar 03, 2009 01:59 PM

Re: How do I convince DH to buy the house I want? (kinda long)

I totally see where your FH is coming from. Honestly he may be seeing it from the perspective of it being a house not worth salvaging. First of all for a place that needs all that work the price needs to come down in price...even for the area something that requires that kind of investment is probably not worth it. I'm soo sorry I hate to say that since you love the house but as Tina said you might find some surprises once you open up the walls and then you're kinda stuck with the place.

Also...I think people need to start realistically pricing their ouse...how can home's that are POS' still be soo expensive...I don't care what town your in a house s only worth what people will pay for it and right now there is just too much surplus in homes for prices to be that high.

skinny237 Posted: Mar 03, 2009 02:12 PM

Re: How do I convince DH to buy the house I want? (kinda long)

The house next door is the same house but has been updated and was recently sold for $550.

I seriously am just so discouraged bc I really thought that if we increased our budget from like $320 to $420 we'd be able to buy some fabulous house. But not that I see that for $420 we'll still be buying a house with a green kitchen, blue bathroom and no property.

I am so frustrated. Even though it's supposed to be a buyer's market, the prices are freaking ridiculous.

TommysWife08 Posted: Mar 03, 2009 02:22 PM

Re: How do I convince DH to buy the house I want? (kinda long)

WOW. that IS a lot of work!!! i can see what your DH is saying.... and unfortuantly, i dont really think you can 'convince' someone to buy a house... its not like you are convincing someone to get a ham sandwhich instead of turkey, KWIM?

a house is a HUUUUUUGE desicion... i know its really frustrating esp with this market - so i would THINK things out A LOT before puttin an offer in.. ESP with a house that needs that much work!!!

good luck!

skinny237 Posted: Mar 03, 2009 02:24 PM

Re: How do I convince DH to buy the house I want? (kinda long)

This whole process is so stressful.

TommysWife08 Posted: Mar 03, 2009 02:28 PM

Re: How do I convince DH to buy the house I want? (kinda long)

Posted by skinny237

This whole process is so stressful.

i hear ya!!!!!!!!

there were SO many houses i loved & DH was like umm yeah but they need about 120,000 worth of work

main advice i can give you is DONT SETTLE!!!! if either of you feel like you are 'settling' DONT do it! you BOTH need to be happy... its the biggest purchase of your LIFE!

like i said, its not like you are buying a sandwhich lol

kristi313 Posted: Mar 03, 2009 02:33 PM

Re: How do I convince DH to buy the house I want? (kinda long)

sometimes when a house needs that much MAJOR work it's probably better to just walk away. having worked in the construction field and i'm sure your dh knows this, once you open walls you can find disaster, so $100k turns into $150k

i unfortunately would have to tell you to just keep looking. houses are stressful and can do a number on a relationship, all that extra work would just be added stress that no NW needs.

sorry

TommysWife08 Posted: Mar 03, 2009 02:36 PM

Re: How do I convince DH to buy the house I want? (kinda long)

Posted by kristi313

having worked in the construction field and i'm sure your dh knows this, once you open walls you can find disaster, so $100k turns into $150k

ITA with this!!

even when we bought our house... there were issues that we didnt even know about till after we moved in!! and with a house that needs THAT much work... im sure it will be MORE than what you bargined for

teenigrrl Posted: Mar 03, 2009 02:44 PM

Re: How do I convince DH to buy the house I want? (kinda long)

it's also a lot of compromise. we saw at least 100 houses, no joke! DH complained that i saw the potential in every house we saw, and i complained that he only liked things that were picture perfect - he definitely has a hard time seeing what things could be down the road.

that said, when we finally made the decision on the house, it was down to two houses. ours, which is a 4BD 2BA dormered cape, and a 3BD 3BA split. the split was my # 1 choice, and the cape was his #1 choice. i did my absolute best to convince him that the split was the best choice for us, and he was finally willing to accept it. work wise, both houses probably needed the same amt of work, and the split was $20K more. in the very end, what it came down to was that the taxes on the split were $1K more than what was advertised, and the yard was HUGE, and all grass, so it would have been very high maintenance, which DH didn't want.

but what we did was definitely compromise and found the house that best suited us, and our needs. we also considered the amt of work that would need to be done. to get a house that would need a total renovation would have been too much, no matter the price. if you and DH disagree so much about this house, it's just not the one for you. don't worry, you're house is out there, you just have to look at all the cr@p that's out there first. it's a long frustrating process, but the end result will be worth it.