how do you answer this question?

how do you answer this question?

In the last week, I've had more people ask DH and I the same question than we have since we got married combined. The question-- 'so, how's married life?'

My answer to them- 'great. love it.' My internal answer- 'pretty much the same as life right before we got marred.'

DH's attempt at a funny-- 'well, I'm still walking kind of funny.' They look at him weird (b/c its a weird thing to say in response). He says 'I've got this thing on my left hand that's weighing me down.' aka, his ring. He tries so hard to be funny but all he gets are crickets or this guy-

So, curious, how do you all answer that question?

Re: how do you answer this question?

Re: how do you answer this question?

my response depends on who's asking - if it's an acquaintance or coworker, i just say 'its great' or something like that. If its a closer friend I gve them a more in depth answer.

Re: how do you answer this question?

i hate that question!!! how many times can u answer it?? i always say its exactly the same as before cause it is. nothings change...i guess thats good.

Re: how do you answer this question?

Re: how do you answer this question?

I got that question all the time and I gave them the same answer - 'same as last year'

Re: how do you answer this question?

Re: how do you answer this question?

well

i USED to answer 'Actually it is wonderful, it has totally changed our relationship and we are both the happiest we have ever been'

but then I learned that happiness makes people REALLLLLLY uncomfortable and they feel the need to awkwardly reply 'oh wait a few years, that will end' or 'ah to be young and naive'

so now i just say, its great thanks for asking

Re: how do you answer this question?

Re: how do you answer this question?

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Posted by ant n tilde

well

i USED to answer 'Actually it is wonderful, it has totally changed our relationship and we are both the happiest we have ever been'

but then I learned that happiness makes people REALLLLLLY uncomfortable and they feel the need to awkwardly reply 'oh wait a few years, that will end' or 'ah to be young and naive'

so now i just say, its great thanks for asking

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omg yes happiness DOES make ppl uncomfortable!!! its like they want you to say 'it kind of sux'

Re: how do you answer this question?

my DH is also a fan of making those kind of jokes.

i agree, its a bit of an awkward question. i know its just an attempt at polite convo so its fine and i go along with it, but i get it constantly and usually i just come back with a 'its great. its wonderful, we're doing well' etc.

I mean what else am I supposed to say?! i don't think i have any overly exciting or shocking news updates to report in that arena.

i also get the 'yea, wait and see. you think you can work everything out now' etc. type responses as well. ok, thanks. especially from ppl going through divorces or having relationship issues, i think just feeling sad and a little jaded about it. im sure its hard to see someone starting the beginning of their lives together when youre in your own 'stuff'

Re: how do you answer this question?

This question always cracks me up, like what do people expect to hear when they ask it. So I always say good and laugh and then they look at me strangely. I just think it's such a weird question to ask, but I know everyone asks. I usually add how we're getting used to each other's bad habits.

Re: how do you answer this question?

i always say 'it's just as it was before, except now we have rings' and laugh, and usually they do too, and are like 'duh!'. it's just really the most honest response i can give.

Re: how do you answer this question?

Re: how do you answer this question?

wow, i guess i am in the minority here

after ten years, marriage has totally changed our relationship and made it 100000000000000x better, every single thing is different and i love it ( hope that doesnt make anyone uncomfortable )

Re: how do you answer this question?

i dont remember who it was that said it-but one of the 07ers said 'its the same, new name and more jewelry'

So that is my usual response

Re: how do you answer this question?

Re: how do you answer this question?

ughhh this woman at work is always asking me this question every time she sees me.... I always say the same thing ('GOOD!') and then she gives me this look of concern and says 'are you sure?' Drives me crazy! I get the urge to say something sarcastic but I never do because otherwise she's a really nice lady. She just has no tact! She's also constantly asking me if I'm pregnant

But anyway, for most people, I just say 'it's great, thanks for asking!' and try to steer the conversation to something else.

Re: how do you answer this question?

Re: how do you answer this question?

I tell them it's horrible and wait to see their facial expression. It's such a dumb question. I understand the whole being polite and asking, but I just got married so of course it's wonderful...and even if it weren't, I'm not going to tell you.