question for the newleywed's.... Did any of you get your feelings hurt upon seeing some of the responses come in negative? In a couple of instances, some people just checked the no box and didn't write anything- no i'm sorry, no congratulations... I am trying not to take the no's personally, but it just seems so harsh for such a special day... I'm normally really sensitive. Was anyone else like this and how do you get over it? Another of my friends is like, I'm due a short time after your wedding so we can't attend. I guess that is fair but there is a part of me that was like, I just spoke to you two months ago and you never told me you were even expecting when we talked about my wedding..... Did your wedding responses clarify more for you your relationships with friends or anything?
NovemberSue
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Re: how do you not take some no's personally?
A couple of people had some really poor excuses and it was insulting. I don't like one of them anyway so I was glad they weren't coming.
Sonicstef
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Re: how do you not take some no's personally?
I had very few unexpected no's, but of those I was very disguisted with those people at their total lack of care/concern.
All of them were my husbands friends and I have written them off in my book. If writing a little note to wish us well is too trouble, I dont need to be friendly with them.
Helene718
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Re: how do you not take some no's personally?
I was hurt by a couple of no's especially from people who have known about our wedding for over a year and have been talking about it all year with us. I was especially hurt by a wedding party member who dropped out a month before. I personally think people should write a little something rather than just check the no box. It just seems so cold to do that. But, I guess I don't want people like that there anyway.
jennbaby
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Re: how do you not take some no's personally?
We were surprised because the people we were sure would come, were our no's.
We weren't hurt, no. Some no's we got, also sent us gifts/checks. I thought that was so nice.
Lisa Rose
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Re: how do you not take some no's personally?
we got a couple of No's and lame excuses that really bothered me but when the day came....the people that shared it with us made it the best day of our lives!!
Dont wory, those that arent coming will miss out on alot!!
ChristineC68
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Re: how do you not take some no's personally?
We got a bunch of no's and most them were expected. But two bothered me, both from my co-workers.
One is my closest friend in the office and didnt come b/c she didnt have a date.
The other one was from the person that told me to invite whoever I wanted to invite - I never received and a wedding invite and thought 'oh gees, a wedding?' (I was expressing my concern about people feeling obligated to come to the wedding and feeling a little weird about inviting some people, etc.)
A little note is nice, but for some reason I didnt take it personally. Some of them I was happy about since we ended up inviting way more people then I planned.
Diane
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Re: how do you not take some no's personally?
I also had some unexpected no's and some that I knew were not coming. There are some that you expect to say no, but when you see it on the response card 'NO' it kinda hurts, but I got over it
michele31
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Re: how do you not take some no's personally?
I guess you have to look at it this way- this day is very special to you but people have their own stuff to do, work, vacations, babysitter issues, health issues, money issues etc... so it isn't their priority. I was hurt that a few people didn't write 'have a nice day' or 'sorry we will miss it' but i know the people who really love us were there.
JennRenee
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Re: how do you not take some no's personally?
We got quite a few 'no's' from Patrick's first cousins that came with no congratulations or explanation note, and I was a little shocked and hurt by that. I would NEVER respond no to a wedding, especially one of a close family member, without at the very least sending the couple my best wishes.
nycchic_24
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Re: how do you not take some no's personally?
I remember getting a no from a teacher I used to work with. We got along so awesome and this teacher liked no one! She knew she was leaving the next year (the year of my wedding) and she always said..please dont forget about me...and I didnt..
I was sure she would have said yes but we got a no from her. Not only that but not one nice word at all...nothing..I was so hurt by that!
I saw her at the st patricks day parade this past year and she saw me and I walked right past her. What she did was so wrong. Im not even asking for a gift but a kind word or two was too much to ask for?!?!
Meanwhile another teacher that I had invited (friends with the other one...who I didnt even know that well) sent a lovely note with her regrets...
most people wrote a little something if they responded no...but a few coworkers only declined...no nice words...and I thought that was a little classless...
but from the men...i didn't expect it...sexist of me huh?
LisaT
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Re: how do you not take some no's personally?
my mom's still mad at my aunt for not coming - she booked a cruise even though she knew our wedding day
I didn't really care. Everyone I really cared about was there.
Karen H
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Re: how do you not take some no's personally?
There were some hard feelings caused by one group of No's, only because they had made such a big deal about definately driving down from Albany, where they were staying, etc. etc. Then came the No's with no explainations. We later found some had understandable reasons, though not all. What hurt was that we had always traveled there for every graduation and sweet 16 and funeral, and we didn't even get an explaination with the No after all the talk of definately being there on our special day.
MSCJLK
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Re: how do you not take some no's personally?
We got alot of NO's wehre we expected yes's .. like my Aunts mother.. the sad part was the she passed away 2 weeks after our wedding. I had a friedns who was expecting twins who xalled two days before to say that she could not come because she was on bed rest.. but i found out that two weeks later she went to another weeding that was the entire weekend. I was not hurt that she did not send a gift . I was annoyed that she did not send a card.. when she said that she did...
We got a lot of NO's from people my DH worked with.. they all seemed to be going to the same christing.
It just happens..
VickiC
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Re: how do you not take some no's personally?
We received a few surprising no's as well without any words written. A few people though wrote no and then sent a card closer to the wedding, which I thought was very nice. A cousin of mine called before he sent his no response back because he wanted to explain why they couldn't make it! I thought that was above and beyond.
Personally, I was ok with the fact that we received so many no's - at that point in the planning I was starting to stress about money, and the no's left us with a nice chunk of change left over from our Reception fund.
Sassy
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Re: how do you not take some no's personally?
Most of my NO's were expected, however there were a couple that struck a nerve. One was a VERY good friend of mine, NOT ANYMORE THO'. She was suppossed to be in my BP but she couldn't and had to back out, which was fine, it was way in advance. She knew about the wedding as soon as I booked it, a year before the date, we always talked about it too. She was also good friends w/2 of my BMs.
When she gets the invitation, she says she's throwing a birthday party for her Mom !!! How ridiculous. To tell you the truth I think she planned it that weekend just to get out of coming to the wedding, and the other girls think so too. What's worse, is she sent one of them, my BRIDESMAID an invitation !!!!! Needless to say, our group has now seen her in a new light.
What can you do? People get shady, you can't let it get to you......
