How do you say Thank you to someone that did this?

3 people in our bridal party stiffed us at the wedding Do we still send them a thank you for being in the wedding or no? Cause isnt that their bridal party gift that they got at the rehearsal dinner? What did anyone that this happened to do?

Thanks.

It depends..do you know that any of them are having financial issues? How close are you to these people? If close...I would do it carefully. You can always play it 'stupid' by saying something like 'Hey so-and-so,' did you bring your card to the reception hall/put it in the cardbox or leave it in the bridal suite?/give it to whoever was in charge of that stuff.'

Play it as if you're concerned and mention that some of your cards seemed to be missing (not just hers/his) and you wnated to amke sure they ahdnt gotten lost in acse checks needed to eb stopped etc.

If they are embarrassed and fess up to just not giving you one for whatever reason, DO NOT make them feel bad! if its financial issues be understanding and tell them you love them and A) not to worry about it if it really doesnt matter, or B) 'I am not going anywhere. It will find me eventuallY' and smile.


As for the ty card, thank them for being in your wedding and there to share your day but do not mention a gift.

that sux! sorry that happened to you.
i would send them a thank you for coming to the wedding and sharing your special day.

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Posted by PeteysBride

It depends..do you know that any of them are having financial issues? How close are you to these people? If close...I would do it carefully. You can always play it 'stupid' by saying something like 'Hey so-and-so,' did you bring your card to the reception hall/put it in the cardbox or leave it in the bridal suite?/give it to whoever was in charge of that stuff.'

Play it as if you're concerned and mention that some of your cards seemed to be missing (not just hers/his) and you wnated to amke sure they ahdnt gotten lost in acse checks needed to eb stopped etc.

If they are embarrassed and fess up to just not giving you one for whatever reason, DO NOT make them feel bad! if its financial issues be understanding and tell them you love them and A) not to worry about it if it really doesnt matter, or B) 'I am not going anywhere. It will find me eventuallY' and smile.


As for the ty card, thank them for being in your wedding and there to share your day but do not mention a gift.

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I am going to disagree with Jenn here. Don't mention the gift to them. if they gave you a gift they will know you didn't get it when you don't mention on the ty card and also if it was a check they would know it was not cashed. Send them a card thanking them for coming and sharing in your day.

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Posted by MeNBobs

I am going to disagree with Jenn here. Don't mention the gift to them. if they gave you a gift they will know you didn't get it when you don't mention on the ty card and also if it was a check they would know it was not cashed. Send them a card thanking them for coming and sharing in your day.

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agreed. that's what we are planning on doing.

I have a few people I'm hoping this will work for as well - dear so and so, thanks so much for coming and sharing in our special day....blah blah....subtext being, you don't see anything in here about a gift do ya??

One guy came late, left early, barely said anything to us and left no gift. Card said 'thank you so much for coming to our wedding. We're sorry we hardly got to talk to you, but it was so nice to see you.'

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Posted by MeNBobs

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Posted by PeteysBride

It depends..do you know that any of them are having financial issues? How close are you to these people? If close...I would do it carefully. You can always play it 'stupid' by saying something like 'Hey so-and-so,' did you bring your card to the reception hall/put it in the cardbox or leave it in the bridal suite?/give it to whoever was in charge of that stuff.'

Play it as if you're concerned and mention that some of your cards seemed to be missing (not just hers/his) and you wnated to amke sure they ahdnt gotten lost in acse checks needed to eb stopped etc.

If they are embarrassed and fess up to just not giving you one for whatever reason, DO NOT make them feel bad! if its financial issues be understanding and tell them you love them and A) not to worry about it if it really doesnt matter, or B) 'I am not going anywhere. It will find me eventuallY' and smile.


As for the ty card, thank them for being in your wedding and there to share your day but do not mention a gift.

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I am going to disagree with Jenn here. Don't mention the gift to them. if they gave you a gift they will know you didn't get it when you don't mention on the ty card and also if it was a check they would know it was not cashed. Send them a card thanking them for coming and sharing in your day.

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ITA!!!

honestly, I think its mean to look at it as being stiffed, I mean they did lay out money to be in the bridal party, and maybe they thought it was a gift along. And some people just don't have a lot of money.

I would def send a thank you card since they were a part of your bridal party!! that in my mind is a lot, sometimes more then money in itself.

Gifts do not always need to be measured in money form either.

The reason I suggested what I did although its not what we did, is because we actually had two diff sets of guests (older people) who read the TY cards but totally missed the lack of mentioning of a gift. They just thought we didnt mention irt for a 'style option' because the rest of our wedding was so 'untraditional.'

It wasn't till months later through the grapevine that we found out from relatives who spoke to them in passing (Dh's parents knew so they mentione something to some relative who mentioned it so someone else-and we didn't know about ti midn you) that they honestly thought they HAD given a gift. One of them the card ahd fallen between the seats in the car and the other I forget what happened.

Both couples felt awful and we assured them we were not upset, just happy they came. Hence why I tried to give one OTHER optinional insight apart from the usual which is the ty card with just thanking them for being there.

There IS reason to my 'madness.'

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Posted by HeatherRose

honestly, I think its mean to look at it as being stiffed, I mean they did lay out money to be in the bridal party, and maybe they thought it was a gift along. And some people just don't have a lot of money.

I would def send a thank you card since they were a part of your bridal party!! that in my mind is a lot, sometimes more then money in itself.

Gifts do not always need to be measured in money form either.

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I know I had 5 people at my wedding who did not give us a card or a gift, but I think each had their own reasons. 2 were in the BP, i know 65 women were at my shower and it cost them a pretty penny!!! Add the dress, hair, make-up and BAch party, I can't even imagine what they spent. I know when I was in a GF's wedding I spent over $1000!

Also, you have to keep in mind that they have a year to give a gift.

Like this



Ok but on a serious note- I would send it and just write TY for being a part of our day.

And let that be that. Either they will be the bigger person and call and ask about it.......or they will just pretend like it didnt mention a gift.

yikes, im sure thats kinda tough, but I would send a TY card anyway thanking them for just being in it, even though you technically already did... When it comes down to it, the few hundred bucks you would've gotten from them is meaningless in the grand scheme of things.. their presence is what you'll remember forever. I'm not sure if theres any bad blood prior to this or after this so I maybe outta line... but no bad blood- I'd send a TY anyway
Good luck

You know what, I am going to go against the grain here.

I did the unimaginable. I didnt send thank yous. Evil, I know. Flame away- I'm prepared for it.

I was not able to stomach the thought of sending a thank you to someone (and her flavor of the week) who gave me unnecessary grief and then didnt even give a card.

We have gone to weddings and had to give gifts late. We manned up and admitted it. I have no pity for those that can't be honest. Please trust that I won't judge you. You;re my friend/cousin/close relative, I invited you for a reason.. a card would be nice! We gave them gifts @ the rehearsal dinner & thank yous for taking part in our day. That sufficed for us.

Sorry, it really sounds terrible typing it out, but there are crazies out there that just 'stiffed' them right back.


eta for clarification

Wow!! I am not the only one!!

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Posted by HeatherRose

honestly, I think its mean to look at it as being stiffed, I mean they did lay out money to be in the bridal party, and maybe they thought it was a gift along. And some people just don't have a lot of money.

I would def send a thank you card since they were a part of your bridal party!! that in my mind is a lot, sometimes more then money in itself.

Gifts do not always need to be measured in money form either.

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Agreed.