How many of you have had relationships change with friends after you got engaged or married?

Iloveweddings Posted: Jun 09, 2003 07:38 PM

How many of you have had relationships change with friends after you got engaged or married?

I have been friends with a group of girls for the past 18 years. At times we were closer than others and some people were closer with others. Now, I feel that I make all of the effort to keep in touch and plan events etc...I also must admit that it hurts a bit when I find out that some of them were doing something over the weekend and I wasn't invited. I know that seems a bit childish, but I am a very sensitive person.

jennbaby Posted: Jun 09, 2003 07:52 PM

Re: How many of you have had relationships change with friends after you got engaged or married?

I must say it does change!
I am not into what I used to be, going out as much & all.

I like to go out with couples more than singles. I guess it's a maturity type thing.

Wish we had more couple friends.

chmpgnrose Posted: Jun 09, 2003 11:25 PM

Re: How many of you have had relationships change with friends after you got engaged or married?

Definitely with my MOH since my engagement. She did NOT pulled through with her duties and responsiblities as the MOH since my engagement until the end especially on the wedding day. Her body was present but her hands, feet, mouth did absoultely nothing. IMHO, I think that she was totally jealous that I was happy to plan my future with my love life and she didn't have anyone. My relationship with her has totally altered since then even now as I don't really trust her at all. Last week (I've been married for almost 10 months now) I've learned the truth behind my bridal shower regarding the planning and organizing which was NOT from her but from my bridesmaid #3. I was totally appalded and disgusted to have a lame duck MOH who did not want to pick up her slack with her duties and responsbilities.

IMHO, I think she's totally jealous, and totally depressed with her own love life that she didn't want to see me happy with my marriage and wedding plans. Whatever... as I don't wish to trust her or give any more responsiblities to her anymore. I'll still keep in touch with her but from a distant way. It has totally changed.

mishandgerard Posted: Jun 09, 2003 11:27 PM

Re: How many of you have had relationships change with friends after you got engaged or married?

sadly very distant. i always though that would not happen to me. Becasue I saw it happen in so many bridal partys. My sil re-married(dh brother died 3.5 years ago) without telling the family. she took the kids and moved no forwarding address and she was my moh! she also said no one was there for her(bs). Withing 60 days of my wedding she went from dating mike(9/27) to engaged to george(10/31 30days after we got married) to selling her house(1week later, I found out cause I stopped by to say hi) to married (11/17 and we were the last to fin out. we walked into her house for her sons bday and everyone else new already!) sat after thanksgiving moved to her hubby's home(we found out cause I stopped by to see the kids, I did that alot and found a big ple of bags and her house looked empty. so i asked a neighbor and they said she moved out saturday) she never talks to me or calls me. she wont return my calls or e-mails. When her husband died I just started to go to college f/t while working f/t. I always made a point to call her everyday for over 2 years, and come by and have dinner or chat more than 2 times a week. Meanwhile never seeing my husband!
Then another bm, her husband is thought to be cheating on her. they have only been married for 5 or so years and she cut me off. she does not even return my e-mails or calls?!!? She would come to my house at 11pm and ask me to go to the diner to chat. I wouldn't get home until 3am. This happend all the time. Then she started to tell people I was not there enough for her. Meanwhile I needed her never and when I did it was too much to ask.
not to mention my cousin who was asked to be in my bp 2 years in advance and backed out 9 months before with this excuse: between being a newlywed, working and the commute for the wedding it was too much for her. mind you she only lives in manhatten. i had people in my by fom georgia for god's sakes!!!

HeatherandNick Posted: Jun 10, 2003 08:24 AM

Re: How many of you have had relationships change with friends after you got engaged or married?

I 100% agree with Jennbaby. My DH and I are a package deal together. We always prefer to go out with couples instead of singles. We do have times when its girls or guys night out and that is different. For the most part we prefer couples! Especially with the little one it makes it even harder to go out and party all night - plus I am too tired. LAst Friday we had Family Fun night at Friendlys, we were home by 8, put the little man to bed and spent quality time together - and it was perfect

jms0176 Posted: Jun 10, 2003 12:33 PM

Re: How many of you have had relationships change with friends after you got engaged or married?

It changes!!!! My friends who I hung around with as 'singles' are now less interested in being around old married people. I had some guy friends who I saw every weekend when I was in college. Now I have not seen them in 7 mos since our wedding. I have another very good girl friend who I have been seeing less and less of since she had her 2 sons. It's a funny situation. She is not married to the baby's father and wants to be desperetly since all her other good friends are marrying off one by one. He's not always good to her and I don't know if they'll ever be married. It hurts her to see the two of us happily married because that's what she wants for herself. I have two good girl friends now (who are both single) and I make it a point to stay in contact with them and plan things with them with and without bringing DH along. We went out recently- just us three girls and it was great! like being single again but without having to deal with people hitting on you!

michele31 Posted: Jun 10, 2003 03:17 PM

Re: How many of you have had relationships change with friends after you got engaged or married?

I guess I will be the voice of 'hope'. My best friend (since we were 9 years old, we lived next door to each other) got married when we were 17. She was pregnant but finished high school and even went to a local college- while marrying the man she fell in love with one summer day when we were in 6th grade. I went off to college. Well, our friendship got even stronger. Why? Because we both worked at it. We made sure that we made time for our friendship. Over the years our lives have been in different places- I was working full-time, she was home with 2 children. Just this year, I got married and she was my MOH. Now she is working full-time and I am preparing to be a mother- almost a role reversal. we make sure that we talk and do fun stuff together. We do not just have 5 minute conversations every few weeks. We are always there for the other person.
It doesn't just 'happen' that friendships survive. It is a 2-way street that takes work- like any other relationship. But it can be done!

bride082003 Posted: Jun 10, 2003 10:20 PM

Re: How many of you have had relationships change with friends after you got engaged or married?

well we havent been married long enough to notice any changes. ALthough, we've been a couple for along time (over 8 years) and lately I have preferred to hang out with other couples, but I still do have single friends that I like to get together with but I dont as often as I should. It seems that once I got engaged, I stopped going out dancing but mainly because my friends went to meet guys and I hated being left alone when it was my 'girls nite out'.