Running into an ex you had a NASTY break-up with?....and the fawker has the nerve to try and talk to you and STILL after 9 years be a douche....
Tell me your thoughts...I will share mine ina moment...need to compose myself...my tongue still feel razor sharp...
PeteysBride
Posted:
Member since
Re: How the FLIP do you handle this???...
Posted by carolinep24
how long did you date him? How long ago, and how long has it been since you broke up.
I had some messed up relationships, but I was also young and I'm sure people change etc etc. I know I have grown tremendously since I've dated other men...No hurt in people saying hello.
Of course, I don't know YOUR specific situation but It wouldn't bother me bumping into an ex unless I still had some kind of feelings for them...
Doesnt have anything to do with feelings Caroline. Has to do with human decency I guess, which he lacks. Even after 9 years he STILL went out of his way to be a condescending pr*ck and try and get a rise out of me. As I said if you read back, we had a nasty breakup becaususe he cheated and while I was hospitalized for a breakdown, he dumped me.
I am really big on common human decency and he lacked it then which I could have forgivcen because we WERE young. BUT now we're adults and rather than havign a friendly conversation, he started with deliberate jabs. It was unecessary ESPEICALLY given our past.
Now I roll my eyes but its more the idea that he felt the need to be a douche for no reason, espeically furing a week thats just been crap.
If he ahdnt been my ex and justa douchebag of a friend, you wouldnt assume there was 'feelings'. Its not romantoic feelings. Its anger at his lack of beign a good human being. Had he been just a friend, I'd feel the same way.
PeteysBride
Posted:
Member since
Re: How the FLIP do you handle this???...
Posted by Colette
omg i'm rolling Jenn, i think you DEFINITELY handled yourself well!!!!
I have an EX-HOLE too, he wasn't gay/bi, just a lousy boyfriend, you know??? I still see him every once in a blue and depending on the day, i'll either wave politely or just get REALLY wrapped up in the blackberry. His vision ***** so i have the advantage.
I think you can let yourself off the hook for whatever went down today, you're not an azzz, and your hubby's not either, so really, what else matters. He sounds completely self-absorbed anyway so he would've been jerky no matter WHAT you said to him. Hell you could've been Grace Kelly-elegant, polite and beautiful. He'd say you look lousy as a blond.
That was what we call a no-win situation for you; just count your lucky stars that the guy upstairs got you OUT of that- and sent your Petey your way...
Oh and a last note: My DH would've said, 'OK, you're not gay. But your BOYFRIEND IS.'
Thanks Collette. I thionk you understand the situation best. Its not about him being an ex as much as him being an AZZZZZ. He was then and Id hoped he would have changed but NOPE. Still an Azzz. I could have been civil had he not be a douche from the moment he opened his mouth.
But I had good chicken tonight, and Pete's sleeping now after we wtached TVso Im good. Life is happy
B22
Posted:
Member since
Re: How the FLIP do you handle this???...
Posted by PeteysBride
Posted by carolinep24
how long did you date him? How long ago, and how long has it been since you broke up.
I had some messed up relationships, but I was also young and I'm sure people change etc etc. I know I have grown tremendously since I've dated other men...No hurt in people saying hello.
Of course, I don't know YOUR specific situation but It wouldn't bother me bumping into an ex unless I still had some kind of feelings for them...
Doesnt have anything to do with feelings Caroline. Has to do with human decency I guess, which he lacks. Even after 9 years he STILL went out of his way to be a condescending pr*ck and try and get a rise out of me. As I said if you read back, we had a nasty breakup becaususe he cheated and while I was hospitalized for a breakdown, he dumped me.
I am really big on common human decency and he lacked it then which I could have forgivcen because we WERE young. BUT now we're adults and rather than havign a friendly conversation, he started with deliberate jabs. It was unecessary ESPEICALLY given our past.
Now I roll my eyes but its more the idea that he felt the need to be a douche for no reason, espeically furing a week thats just been crap.
If he ahdnt been my ex and justa douchebag of a friend, you wouldnt assume there was 'feelings'. Its not romantoic feelings. Its anger at his lack of beign a good human being. Had he been just a friend, I'd feel the same way.
No I was talking about MYSELF... You asked how would YOU (us) handle it.
I'm saying It wouldn't have bothered me unless I had feelings for that person.
If they were a douchebag to me... I wouldn't bother me if they were STILL a douchebag..
Perhaps you still have some kind of feelings--in that you had no closure, that's why it bothers you so much? Not romantic feelings, but just an emptiness in general.. you know? I have had one ex relationship (not boyfriend) that left a tremendous hole in my life just because of circumstance. Thats what I mean.
I'm sorry, I didn't know what a douchebag he was, I was just answering the question you initially asked.
ETA; I didn't see your list of things he said. I would have just said 'have a nice day,' and walked away at the first instance of him being condescending... don't waste your time thinking about it... unfortunately some people don't change but I guess I (we) always want to think the best of people...
PeteysBride
Posted:
Member since
Re: How the FLIP do you handle this???...
Posted by carolinep24
Posted by PeteysBride
Posted by carolinep24
how long did you date him? How long ago, and how long has it been since you broke up.
I had some messed up relationships, but I was also young and I'm sure people change etc etc. I know I have grown tremendously since I've dated other men...No hurt in people saying hello.
Of course, I don't know YOUR specific situation but It wouldn't bother me bumping into an ex unless I still had some kind of feelings for them...
Doesnt have anything to do with feelings Caroline. Has to do with human decency I guess, which he lacks. Even after 9 years he STILL went out of his way to be a condescending pr*ck and try and get a rise out of me. As I said if you read back, we had a nasty breakup becaususe he cheated and while I was hospitalized for a breakdown, he dumped me.
I am really big on common human decency and he lacked it then which I could have forgivcen because we WERE young. BUT now we're adults and rather than havign a friendly conversation, he started with deliberate jabs. It was unecessary ESPEICALLY given our past.
Now I roll my eyes but its more the idea that he felt the need to be a douche for no reason, espeically furing a week thats just been crap.
If he ahdnt been my ex and justa douchebag of a friend, you wouldnt assume there was 'feelings'. Its not romantoic feelings. Its anger at his lack of beign a good human being. Had he been just a friend, I'd feel the same way.
No I was talking about MYSELF... You asked how would YOU (us) handle it.
I'm saying It wouldn't have bothered me unless I had feelings for that person.
If they were a douchebag to me... I wouldn't bother me if they were STILL a douchebag..
Perhaps you still have some kind of feelings--in that you had no closure, that's why it bothers you so much? Not romantic feelings, but just an emptiness in general.. you know? I have had one ex relationship (not boyfriend) that left a tremendous hole in my life just because of circumstance. Thats what I mean.
I'm sorry, I didn't know what a douchebag he was, I was just answering the question you initially asked.
ETA; I didn't see your list of things he said. I would have just said 'have a nice day,' and walked away at the first instance of him being condescending... don't waste your time thinking about it... unfortunately some people don't change but I guess I (we) always want to think the best of people...
Sorry for misunderstanding you Caroline! Yea the list was what made me go grr. We were young and i want to always see the ebst in people so tried to give him the benefit of the doubt, but nope. Still a douche. If I hadn't had such a tough week it probably wouldnt even have botherd me much but you know when you have a crap week and then that ONE person just comes along and adds the icing to the cake? He was my rank icing that makes Harry Potter Jelly beans like SNOT sound tasty.
I'm fine now. He is a d*ck and I can rest assured our rbeakup was not my fault as he liekd to claim which torubled me alot, NOT becaue I wanted him back but ebcause I felt I WAS the a$$hole who messed someone else's life up and that really upset me. But Nope, He's a liar and still a douche so i am fine. Out of mind for me now.
I'm good. Got 'some' from the hubby this morning so life is gooood lol. Im such a guy when it comes to sex.
B22
Posted:
Member since
Re: How the FLIP do you handle this???...
Posted by PeteysBride
Posted by carolinep24
Posted by PeteysBride
Posted by carolinep24
how long did you date him? How long ago, and how long has it been since you broke up.
I had some messed up relationships, but I was also young and I'm sure people change etc etc. I know I have grown tremendously since I've dated other men...No hurt in people saying hello.
Of course, I don't know YOUR specific situation but It wouldn't bother me bumping into an ex unless I still had some kind of feelings for them...
Doesnt have anything to do with feelings Caroline. Has to do with human decency I guess, which he lacks. Even after 9 years he STILL went out of his way to be a condescending pr*ck and try and get a rise out of me. As I said if you read back, we had a nasty breakup becaususe he cheated and while I was hospitalized for a breakdown, he dumped me.
I am really big on common human decency and he lacked it then which I could have forgivcen because we WERE young. BUT now we're adults and rather than havign a friendly conversation, he started with deliberate jabs. It was unecessary ESPEICALLY given our past.
Now I roll my eyes but its more the idea that he felt the need to be a douche for no reason, espeically furing a week thats just been crap.
If he ahdnt been my ex and justa douchebag of a friend, you wouldnt assume there was 'feelings'. Its not romantoic feelings. Its anger at his lack of beign a good human being. Had he been just a friend, I'd feel the same way.
No I was talking about MYSELF... You asked how would YOU (us) handle it.
I'm saying It wouldn't have bothered me unless I had feelings for that person.
If they were a douchebag to me... I wouldn't bother me if they were STILL a douchebag..
Perhaps you still have some kind of feelings--in that you had no closure, that's why it bothers you so much? Not romantic feelings, but just an emptiness in general.. you know? I have had one ex relationship (not boyfriend) that left a tremendous hole in my life just because of circumstance. Thats what I mean.
I'm sorry, I didn't know what a douchebag he was, I was just answering the question you initially asked.
ETA; I didn't see your list of things he said. I would have just said 'have a nice day,' and walked away at the first instance of him being condescending... don't waste your time thinking about it... unfortunately some people don't change but I guess I (we) always want to think the best of people...
Sorry for misunderstanding you Caroline! Yea the list was what made me go grr. We were young and i want to always see the ebst in people so tried to give him the benefit of the doubt, but nope. Still a douche. If I hadn't had such a tough week it probably wouldnt even have botherd me much but you know when you have a crap week and then that ONE person just comes along and adds the icing to the cake? He was my rank icing that makes Harry Potter Jelly beans like SNOT sound tasty.
I'm fine now. He is a d*ck and I can rest assured our rbeakup was not my fault as he liekd to claim which torubled me alot, NOT becaue I wanted him back but ebcause I felt I WAS the a$$hole who messed someone else's life up and that really upset me. But Nope, He's a liar and still a douche so i am fine. Out of mind for me now.
I'm good. Got 'some' from the hubby this morning so life is gooood lol. Im such a guy when it comes to sex.
I prefer morning sex...
Now repeat: 'its a new day'
Mizzdimple
Posted:
Member since
Re: How the FLIP do you handle this???...
Posted by jtgarsik
in all honesty - i've run into my nasty exes. and i think it's SO much greater to be super sweet & say 'hii how are you' and then go on to tell them how absolutely fantastic and happy u are. keep it short and sweet & leave holding ur head high. the last time i did this i had gotten an apology email three days later saying he was sorry for all the sh*t he ever did and he sees what a great person i am, blah blah blah. GOOD. makes 'em realized what he missed out on - and if he's that much of a douche to not even care, atleast ur being the bigger person and can never give him a reason to call u a b*tch..
