how to deal with grief and remebrence of lost loved ones during the holidays

how to deal with grief and remebrence of lost loved ones during the holidays

Re: how to deal with grief and remebrence of lost loved ones during the holidays

Really dont know what to say,I am a Motherless Daughter also so i know how hard the Holidays can be
I say do whatever makes you feel better.
I wish you all the joy & happiness during this holiday season
Sincerly,
Alexandria

Re: how to deal with grief and remebrence of lost loved ones during the holidays

Antionette

Of course I know exactly what you are feeling. Last Christmas was my actual first Christmas with out my mom but since she died so soon before I don't think I had time to realize that the holiday came and went. My mom also loved Christmas. We always decorated the tree together with the Christmas music going. So this year Matt and I went and planted a mini Christmas tree at the cemetery (opened the car windows and played Christmas songs and all (weird I know but it made me feel better) God love my husband for induldging me in my craziness. We decorated it an all.

I think you should be up her tree. Christmas will never be the same but I think it is important to keep any traditions you had with her going so you can share them with your own kids.

Re: how to deal with grief and remebrence of lost loved ones during the holidays

Re: how to deal with grief and remebrence of lost loved ones during the holidays

Last Dec 11th I lost my g-ma, she raised me, she was more than a g-ma, it was the worse Christmas for all of us.

This year by the grace of God we are all in better spirits. We miss her immensly, and we will never forget her. Last year this day we buried her. I say add an ornament to your tree, cook her favorite dish. Whatever it is that will make you feel better. In time it gets better of that I am certain.

Re: how to deal with grief and remebrence of lost loved ones during the holidays

I lost my father three weeks before Christmas ten years ago. It's probably a little different because moms are a little more involved with holiday preparation. One tradition he and I had, though, was that every year he would always bring me with him to do his shopping for my mom. I don't think he ever shopped for her without me, their only child. I'll never forget how hard he tried to find the perfect gifts for her. I no longer remember how much shopping was already done at that point-many things are a blur-but I do remember shopping for her in the exact same stores he would have gone to, looking through the same racks, with the little money I had (I was 15), determined to please her, which was without doubt impossible to do that year. It helped me, though, because I felt like he was there. Ever since then, every holiday I try so hard to do what he did and find the perfect gifts for her. It's not that hard to buy what she wants because my mom never spends money on herself, but that's not the point-the point is, it helps me, even 10 years later.

My point is, do whatever makes you happy and helps you remember her. By all means put up her tree. I'm sure it will make you feel better. I'm so sorry for your loss.

Re: how to deal with grief and remebrence of lost loved ones during the holidays

Re: how to deal with grief and remebrence of lost loved ones during the holidays

Re: how to deal with grief and remebrence of lost loved ones during the holidays

I just wanted to say I am sorry for your loss.

Re: how to deal with grief and remebrence of lost loved ones during the holidays

sorry for your loss

Re: how to deal with grief and remebrence of lost loved ones during the holidays

I am so sorry for your loss. I can also relate to what you are feeling. I lost both of my parents and it is very emotional for me this time of the year. I would also say to go ahead and put up your mom's tree and maybe get a special ornament to hang on it in her memory. The first Christmas after my mom died, I bought a mother daughter ornament with our names to put on the tree. It was just a little something, but it helped me to feel a little better.

All the best to you.

Re: how to deal with grief and remebrence of lost loved ones during the holidays

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Posted by MarcellaBella

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Posted by antoinette

This will be my first Christmas without my Dear mom.
Christmas was my mom’s favorite holiday she loved to
Give presents and loved to decorate and entertain. Naturally
I am feeling a little “down in the dumps”.

For those of you that have lost someone you loved how did or
Do you deal with the holidays- especially the first one.

Any special way of remembering them,?
Is it appropriate to put up my mothers tree that she loved so much ( fake tree)


I need advise
Thanks
Antoinette

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I'm so sorry sweetie pie!! Why not carry on mom's tradition and put up her tree and try to decorate and celebrate like she would have?

I wish you all the best..

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I am so sorry for your loss

I agree with Marcella. I'd decorate the house just as your mom would! Take care sweetie

Re: how to deal with grief and remebrence of lost loved ones during the holidays

I'm so sorry for your loss... I think you should do anything that brings you comfort and helps you remember your mom during the holidays...

Re: how to deal with grief and remebrence of lost loved ones during the holidays

I lost my Dad many years ago and I must say though it does take a long time to deal with the holidays without one of you parents. It is not easy and my heart goes out to all of you who lost a parent.

Re: how to deal with grief and remebrence of lost loved ones during the holidays

Antoinette - FM

Re: how to deal with grief and remebrence of lost loved ones during the holidays

I just want to say I am sorry for you loss. I say do what makes you feel good. I am sure it will get better with time

Re: how to deal with grief and remebrence of lost loved ones during the holidays

I am so sorry for you loss. I understand just how difficult it is to be without your mom on Christmas. Even though my mom passed away 20 years ago, I miss her the most at this time of year. I have tried to carry on the traditions that she started as a way of keeping her close.

I would put your mom's tree up. This way something that you shared will be there for you now.

Re: how to deal with grief and remebrence of lost loved ones during the holidays

Antoinette,

Holidays are the hardest. I found that being surrounded by family and friends comforted me.

Please know that I will be thinking of you and your family. Remember that your Mom is always with you.

Re: how to deal with grief and remebrence of lost loved ones during the holidays

First off, I am so sorry for your loss and how you are feeling...

But please know that you are not alone...we lost our 'stepfather' this past April, so this is our first holiday season without him...its so very hard.

We have been trying to celebrate as much as we feel we can but at certain points, it seems unbearable. We are adding special ornaments to the tree in honor of him, I had a memory quilt made for my mom with all pictures of him on it and we talk about him all the time to keep his memory alive.

I say that you try to do these things as well..I know its hard but as long as you keep your mothers memory alive it will make you feel better...everyone says it gets better with time..thats the one thing you have no control over unfortunately but just do what you think your mother would have wanted you to do...

You and all the others who have lost a loved one will be in my prayers during this holiday season and always.

Re: how to deal with grief and remebrence of lost loved ones during the holidays

I am very sorry for your loss and for everyone here remembering a loved one during the holiday season.