how to deal with grief and remebrence of lost loved ones during the holidays
Original post by antoinette
This will be my first Christmas without my Dear mom. Christmas was my mom’s favorite holiday she loved to Give presents and loved to decorate and entertain. Naturally I am feeling a little “down in the dumps”.
For those of you that have lost someone you loved how did or Do you deal with the holidays- especially the first one.
Any special way of remembering them,? Is it appropriate to put up my mothers tree that she loved so much ( fake tree)
I need advise Thanks Antoinette
Val R.
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Re: how to deal with grief and remebrence of lost loved ones during the holidays
I respond to this sort of in the professional manner I guess... I am a funeral director. Each year my funeral home hosts a Holiday Remebrance Program and the main part of the afternoon is always focused on one thing. We have a candle lighting ceremony in which the name or names of the people you are remebering are spoken out loud as you light a candle for them. We then have each person take home their candle home and encourage them to light it as often as they need too. It symbolizes the presence of the person around you and the warmth of their love you feel as you think of them. Maybe this can be something special you do just for your mom!
Dani00518
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Re: how to deal with grief and remebrence of lost loved ones during the holidays
I was just going to add the same thing that val did.....I lost my uncle 2 years ago and holidays have never been the same with out him....we were very close and I am still having trouble coming to terms with his death. But every holiday i light a candle in my house for him that burns all day...it keeps his presence alive and makes me feel like he is there.....Also, every holiday my uncle would always make carrots and no one would ever eat them but year after year for every holiday they would always be on that table....so in memory of him we always make the carrots...and this time we actually eat them. I say yes...you should definitely put up that tree it helps to keep your moms spirit and memory alive. Take care of yourself and try to have a happy holiday...your mom wouldn't want it any other way
Nora101004
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Re: how to deal with grief and remebrence of lost loved ones during the holidays
Paxil amd scrapbook therapy!!! My sister was killed almost 7 years ago. Its really hard this time of year. She was younger then I am, only 14. We try to get my mom something from her - without being creapy.
She was killed on the last day of Hanukkah, which was New Year's Eve and 3 days after her b-day so x-mas to New years is the worst week of the year.
On what would have been her 18th birthday we got mom an angel bear from the Vermont Teddy Bear Company.
My mom started a coat drive in her memory.
Maybe you can keep your mom's memory alive by making her favorite dish, or wearing the necklace she gave you. I think you should put up your mom's tree. Maybe you can bring her an ornament to the cemetary from her tree. Maybe get 2 each year, one for you and one for her.
Hope this helps, if you want to talk more, please FM me.
PS: I'm not kidding about the paxil, if you think you need something, please ask a doctor, even if its just for 2 weeks.
Nora101004
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Re: how to deal with grief and remebrence of lost loved ones during the holidays
Re: how to deal with grief and remebrence of lost loved ones during the holidays
nora those are great where can I find those- not on the internet though-
Nora101004
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Re: how to deal with grief and remebrence of lost loved ones during the holidays
I think I saw the tear drop in the currants magazine (you know where you can get checks printed really cheap). I think you can try a religious store.
I ordered from Personal Creations and they were great, my sister also ordered from them.
I sent my FH to get the one for my mom, I have no idea where we sent him.
Nora101004
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Re: how to deal with grief and remebrence of lost loved ones during the holidays
I just did a search for 'memorial tear drop' and I got a ton of Christian stores. Not sure if they have the ornaments though.
This place has a different memorial ornament each year, its a hospice. Might be nice to add to mom's tree. Annual Memorial Ornament Maybe there is a more appropiate organization for you that offers similiar things.
Maybe you could make one each year and sell them to friends and give the money to a charity.
antoinette
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Re: how to deal with grief and remebrence of lost loved ones during the holidays
I would love to get the for christmas but the thing is there really is only 2 days left and i cant deal with the shipping issue ( bad experience this year with internet shopping) I know of a christian store Ill try there- r maybe things remebered would have it?
Nora101004
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Re: how to deal with grief and remebrence of lost loved ones during the holidays
If you have time, I'd call, I'd hate for you to drive all over the place looking for it. Maybe you can print out the one from the internet for this year.
Personal Creations is also a catalog, not just the internet if that makes you feel better.
VAL's POST: My mom went to the memorial service at the funeral home, I think it helped her the first year.
Val R.
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Re: how to deal with grief and remebrence of lost loved ones during the holidays
