How would you feel if......

JodiBabe Posted: Dec 30, 2003 10:19 PM

How would you feel if......

your DH & you had talked about him getting a new car and said the two of you would go & look together and then he went out without you 'just to look' and ends up leaving a deposit for a brand new SUV?

Diane Posted: Dec 30, 2003 10:22 PM

Re: How would you feel if......

That depends, if we were looking at the same SUV then I would be happy, but if it were something you werent looking into, and maybe you might not have wanted, I would be mad

JodiBabe Posted: Dec 30, 2003 10:31 PM

Re: How would you feel if......

It was the same one that we talked about that he wanted (he drives, I don't) but I felt like my opinion didn't matter & he made the decision as if he were still a single guy (all on his own). It was something that we had said we would do together as well as agreeing just a few weeks earlier that neither of us would make any major purchase without the other.

Diane Posted: Dec 30, 2003 10:35 PM

Re: How would you feel if......

I would be pretty mad if hubby did that without consenting you
What type of SUV??

JodiBabe Posted: Dec 30, 2003 10:36 PM

Re: How would you feel if......

A Toyota Highlander (smaller SUV)

Diane Posted: Dec 30, 2003 10:37 PM

Re: How would you feel if......

those are nice. Are you happy with it??
Best of luck with the new car

JodiBabe Posted: Dec 30, 2003 10:44 PM

Re: How would you feel if......

I probably will be although I haven't seen one up close. I was very upset and even more upset just for being upset if that makes sense. DH & I have NEVER argued although we really didn't argue since he told me while I was at work and he was at work before I got home. I was in bed & sleeping by the time he got home. However there was a dozen roses in the kitchen this morning. He tried to tell me they were 'just because' he hadn't brought me any flowers in a while. He later said it was also because he felt bad. I like them better when they really just for no other reason except 'just because'.

Jenny5150 Posted: Dec 30, 2003 10:46 PM

Re: How would you feel if......

Ooh...kewl truck!

But back to your question...I'd be hurt.

JodiBabe Posted: Dec 30, 2003 10:47 PM

Re: How would you feel if......

Jenny, that is exactly how I felt!

Jenny5150 Posted: Dec 30, 2003 10:55 PM

Re: How would you feel if......

Jodi, I think your feelings are justified and it sounds like he knows it.

Did you ask him how he would feel had you gone out and put a deposit down on a car without him? I'm sure he'd be angry.

Purchasing a car is a big deal! It's not like you can return it in 30 days! Did he explain his rational?

JodiBabe Posted: Dec 30, 2003 11:04 PM

Re: How would you feel if......

Jenny,

Yes it is a big deal and he does know he was wrong. Admits to it and said it would be just as wrong and he might be upset (although he doesn't get angry) if I were to go make a major purchase without talking to him first. I waited to talk to him before ordering a new computer. There really was no rational. He was excited about getting it & just really let them talk him into it right then.

JodiBabe Posted: Dec 30, 2003 11:08 PM

Re: How would you feel if......

He wanted one before then wedding & I said he couldn't get a new car until after the wedding then I said not until I got a new computer(as I put it this is my vehicle). Now that both have these have come to pass I had no more excuses. LOL

As far as paying for it he can handle the payments and has $$ from his co-op to use for downpayment. It isn't coming out of my $$ so in essence it is HIS but it was supposed to be OURS and it can't be Ours if I had no say in any of it!

Jenny5150 Posted: Dec 30, 2003 11:23 PM

Re: How would you feel if......

I don't blame you for being upset. I know I would be really pissed. Like you said, it's not about the $$$, but about the fact that this decision was to be made by the BOTH of you and that your opinion wasn't taken into account. I don't think he did that on purpose, I think it was that he was just so psyched about the truck. My gutt tells me he assumed you were going to be just as surprised/excited when he told you about putting down a deposit.