How would you feel in this situation?

A friend of mine has been married for over 5 years. They have two beautiful little boys. Over the past 5 years, her husband has corresponded with two different females and actually met up with one of them. She found out, they worked through it, forgave him and they moved on..........

Fast forward to the present........

She is having a VERY hard time forgetting what he did. He said nothing physical had happened, just emotional. After thinking hard about this, even though she said she forgave him, she wasn't able to forget and it's eating her up inside. She has lost her trust in him, her physical attraction and emotional connection.........

She went to counselling to learn how to forgive him but it just isn't working.........

She has decided to leave the marriage after 5 years and trying to deal with this.

What would you do in this situation?

Me personally, I would not be able for forgive my husband for that. Letting yourself become emotionally attached to another female while you are married, in my eyes and heart, is wrong in every way. I would never be able to forgive him for it and I think I would do the same as my friend........

first off, i'm very sorry for your friend.

secondly, I don't see DH ever doing this and therefore it's hard to comment on what I would do. However, knowing myself I can say with certainty that DH would no longer be the same man I married in my eyes. He would be tained...ruined in some way. I would definitely never forget that it happened and it would probably eat away at me until I decided to leave the marriage.

seeing him everyday would be a constant reminder of what he did and I cant imagine myself living in misery with someone.

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Posted by EverlovingEv


seeing him everyday would be a constant reminder of what he did and I cant imagine myself living in misery with someone.

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This is exactly how she feels right now......

For your friend. For me cheating whether physical or emotional are deal breakers. It would hurt so much to think the man i am married to and swear to love forever has to look outside of our marriage for an emotional connection. I would definitely have a hard time believing all they did was talk. Also after that anytime he came home late from work or was out thoughts of where is he really would torment me.
Your friend does not deserve to be treated like this and I hope she is happy with her choice

For your friend. To my that is a deal breaker, whether its more or less then just meeting for lunch. I could never spend the rest of my life with someone I felt needed to do that-whether I knew it or not. I would have to leave-no therapy or counseling is really going to help her get back what she lost with him

I think your friend is doing what is best for her...glad she isnt staying just for the kids...i already told DH years ago that if he wants to be with another woman go ahead...you just better break it off with me first...there is no way I could ever trust him again if he cheated on me and i told him that... that your friend finds happiness & strength!

first of all, for your friend to get through this time as peacefully as possible.
Second, I feel that having an emotional relationship is worse than having a physical relationship with someone. It's more personal (IMO).
As for how I would feel in that situation, I can't say for sure unless I was actually in the situation, but I would like to think that I would be strong enough to ask for a divorce. At the same time, I would expect DH to divorce me if I was having an emotional relationship with someone that was more than just a friendly relationship.
I just can't imagine what that would do to DH, or how I would feel. I would have trouble forgiving as well!

That's a really tough situation that your friend is in.. I don't think I could forgive DH for becomming emotionally attatched to another woman.. That's still cheating to me... I wish her the best during this time..

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Posted by billandme

Me personally, I would not be able for forgive my husband for that. Letting yourself become emotionally attached to another female while you are married, in my eyes and heart, is wrong in every way. I would never be able to forgive him for it and I think I would do the same as my friend........

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My heart goes out to her. I feel the same as you. I don't think I could trust DH if he ever did anything like that. I hope everything works out for her.

I think emotional attachment is worse than physical. JMO

ugh....this is such an ugly situation.
Everyone is different, and handles these situations differently.
I haven't been in that situation before, so its hard to say exactly how I would feel or react.

I will say that she is very brave for having given it such a strong chance. It appears that she really tried to make it work, but its just not.

If I had to guess, I'd say that I wouldn't tolerate it either. I would say that I deserve much better and I would probably have to leave. I giver her credit for trying so hard, over such a long pd. of time, and also through 2, not 1 women.
Sometimes going through a horrible pd. of misery turns out better in the end.....I can't imagine suffering though a whole life with that kind of resentment brewing all the time.


for your friend. She's going to be just fine.

tough situation. so sorry for your friend.

honestly -- i've seen infidelity in my family allllll over the place, and i know what it does to you. and i've always promised myself that i would NEVER be one of those women. but in reality no one really knows what they will do until the situation is upon you.

i would have such a difficult time trying to trust and forgive my husband. and i really do not believe that he didn't do anything physical with them ---that sounds like a load of crap.

without any kids at all---i would say if DH strayed, it would most likely be over. i just can't be with someone who i can not trust. but if we had kids, i might consider the possibilitiy of forgiveness, and giving it a 2nd chance so that the kids could have us together. but if i felt like i couldn't handle it, i wouldn't stay in an unhappy marriage 'just' for the kids.