How young is too young....

Everyone is different someone might be ready at 20 to be married.

I personally would not have been ready for marriage at 20..I was still in college and then my grad degree. Although DH andI dated since we were 21 it was imporant that we finished school and started our careers before we even thought of marriage.

I personally had so much fun AT 20,21,22,23. I feel l would have resented being married at that age. I dont mean that to sound bad but i enjyed partying with my girls in the Hamptons and all that I wouldnt have wanted the resposibility of marriage...heck I lived home I had no responsibility

We got engaged when I was just 25 and DH was 24. To me THAT is young I always pictured getting married older....but DH and I were ready./...eventhough many f friends weren't.

Again someone else at 20 may be more settled and ready..who am I to judge, I can only speak for myself.

I think it honestly depends on the situation. I was engaged when I was 20 and married at 22. But I was also with my DH for 5 years before we got engaged. He is also 5 years older then me.

I think the fact that they were only together for a few months is more of a negative factor then their age. I would have to say that 20, in general, is a bit too young to get married. But everyone's situation is different and only they know if they are getting married for the right reasons and how they feel.

I know some very mature teenagers and I also know some very immature people in their 40's. So who's to really say what age has to do with anything. I guess to sum it all up, age ain't nothing but a number!

I am probably the minority here but I feel like when it's right it's right. Just think about back in the day?? My granda was 18 when she got married. My dad was 22....I'm not saying it's right for everyone but building a life together is what people did.
A big theory of mine about divorce is how long people wait to get married. If you get married at 22 you are starting your life, your carreer...when two people meet at 28 they are more established, have their own friends, have their own money. It's hard to blend the two. My parents always tell me some of their favorite times were growing together, and struggling to become who they are today. No matter what age you marry you change. your life experiences may change you. It's a gamble no matter when you do it. Its the individual who needs to decide when it's right!

honestly i think it depends on the couple. i was 20 when dh & i got engaged, 21 at our wedding... however when our wedding came around, we were together for 4 years..went through me being away at school, we were READY and didn't want to wait any more. Now i think about my cousins & such who are twenty now & think 'wow 20 IS young'.. but i still feel like we were ready to be married. dh was a few years older, and I was always mature for my age..was never on the same level when it came to age as some of my friends/family etc..i'm an old soul lol. now as for changing in your 20's..ABSOLUTELY. every decision we make in our 20's pretty much effects the rest of our lives... but i will say - dh & i have grown and changed TOGETHER. we weren't already set in our own ways and had to go through adjusting issues, etc... yes we had some - but for the most part, we grew together..and i love thinking about everything we've been through & how much we've changed/grownup not only as individuals but as a couple.

now that being said, i DON'T think being married young is for everyone... i just think everyone is different, and every situation is different.. my cousin who is the same age as me was like 'i couldn't even IMAGINE getting married now'....and now, 2years later, she met the man of her dreams & is engaged. circumstance plays a big role too...u said he was deployed so i'm assuming he's in the military??? unless ur married they would pretty much just be apart considering he'd be either stationed or deployed so i'm sure that played a huge part in them wanting to get married so quickly. I've learned the past few years that u can't judge anyone's situation. A few years ago two of my friends got married - one couple everyone thought was 'just so perfect' the other other we thought for sure was doomed from the start... now wouldn't u know that years later, the 'perfect couple' are the ones having problems and the 'doomed' are the ones happy as ever with a great marraige??? u just never know..they'll soon learn what they're getting themselves into & hopefully growup together.

this is kind of a ramble but i'm hoping it makes sense??? lol..

---

Posted by Smiley22

to get married?

My DH has a niece who just turned 20 and will be marrying next year. She has only dated the guy (22) for a few months and he was deployed shortly thereafter. They will be marrying next summer.

I know not everyone has to wait until they were 29 (like me), but I can't help but feel she hasn't yet lived her life independently, much less really get to know this boy.

---

it def seems like every situation is different

i will say that my DH's parents are married 39 years and are still in love and a great couple....we aspire to be just like them

they were engaged very quickly - i think less than 6 months of dating - and they got married young - around 20 i believe....

so it does work

hmm under 18 cus your not an adult?

Everyones situations are different. It just depends on the people involved. people all have different things they want to do and need to do before getting married.

---

Posted by zoe282

I am probably the minority here but I feel like when it's right it's right. Just think about back in the day?? My granda was 18 when she got married. My dad was 22....I'm not saying it's right for everyone but building a life together is what people did.
A big theory of mine about divorce is how long people wait to get married. If you get married at 22 you are starting your life, your carreer...when two people meet at 28 they are more established, have their own friends, have their own money. It's hard to blend the two. My parents always tell me some of their favorite times were growing together, and struggling to become who they are today. No matter what age you marry you change. your life experiences may change you. It's a gamble no matter when you do it. Its the individual who needs to decide when it's right!

---

this is kind of the simpler version of what i was trying to say... not that this is the case with everyone - just for me personally.

I think it depends on the maturity level of the person. I'm really not a proponent of getting married young, I do think in some cases it works, but not in the majority. I think if the person's life experiences has matured them then by all means. But at 20 most young guys and girls don't know their head from their a$$, I know I didn't.

However, there is never a perfect age to get married. It's ultimately all about maturity at any age.