I am about to cancel my wedding...please help!

Hi ladies,
I really need your help.
Last night was my e-party at Chateau Briand.
Overall, it was awful for fh and I . I have a list of things that happened making me truly rethink my wedding planned for april of ’08 at the deserversky mansion. The venue we chose is a fairytale venue and I must say this has NOTHING to do with them.
The party was supposed to be about 65-70 people and while I had that number 12 people who rsvp’d didn’t show but a few people brought others w/o asking me so it ended up working out in the end. The fact that people can just not show, not call baffles me!
E-party / Chateau Briand complaints:
1. I walked into cocktail hour and the singer was only playing the piano. I inquired as to why and was told by the bridal attendant and maître’d that there was no stand for the mic so she could just play the piano. Argh… I asked if they had a stand and 20 minutes later they came out w/ one for her. Why couldn’t they just get it before?
2. During cocktail hour we were supposed to have 12 passed hor’ derves –we had 3 on one tray and they were cold, mind you fh and I ate off the tray first! They only passed them once not throughout cocktail hour.
3. The maitre’d kept bothering me the ENTIRE night asking all sorts of questions, pulling me away from guests (everyone noticied how much this was upsetting me)
4. We walked in the room for dinner before the guests to take a look and noticed that the hall decided to display my giftbags (that I had specifically asked they to keep in the back til I requested them privately!) for my bridal party and attendants INSTEAD of giving me a salad bar and antipasta station!!!!!!!!!! Are you kidding?? I said something to the maitre’d and he was just acting like I was asking for something absurd, not something stated in my contract. After 15 minutes they fixed it.
5. We had a buffet on two sides of the floor and they only put out 2 servers to man the buffet stations! There was a ridiculous line at dinner time and I had to stop mingling and go and ask for them to put more staff out after people complained!
6. Dessert: We had something called the serendipity ( a choc. Chip cookie filled w/ ice cream and dipped in chocolate) guess what? It was cut in half, we were told upfront that everyone receives a full cookie.

There’s more but I’m so tired. ?
Fh and I didn’t have fun at all last night. The night was ruined by the hall and it really bothers me that halls can take your money, your dreams and not be held accountable because they make you pay in full upfront! So what recourse do I have?
Last night made us rethink the whole wedding we have planned. Now all we want is to have our church ceremony and have a dinner at a place like the seventh street café for all of our guests. We are also just thinking about going away at Christmas time and eloping on an island. The reception is all about your guests and you plan, break your arse, and in the end the night goes by so quickly and there is no guarantee that you will even enjoy yourself.
Please be honest. If you had it to do all over again, what would you change? Would you do it smaller scale, invite less people, elope, save, and spend on something else like a house? Was it really worth it for a 5 hour reception? I can’t stop crying, this is awful. I told my mom and she thinks we should just have the big wedding… FH and I think otherwise.

Please fm me privately if you need to..

Advice please…
Xoxoxo,
k

Yes....it was 100% worth the 5 hour reception we had. To be honest....I dont know why you're so worried about a wedding you're planning at a DIFFERENT location. It was clearly THIS reception hall that screwed up. First of all, if I were you I would go to the hall with this list of complaints and DEMAND to be compensated. Whether or not its a wedding they are doing, they are supposed to make sure they give 100% with everything they do considering they are being paid big $$.

At our wedding, we were never bothered by the maitre'd, we got everything we paid for and more, they were very professional, and everything was set up perfectly. I would also STRONGLY suggest you hire a day-of coordinator if you're worried about things going smoothly and being done right. We hired Christine from Exquisite Affairs (a vendor on here) and I never worried about a thing -- she took care of everything.

Please dont let this experience ruin your dream for your wedding -- this was the halls fault and its NOT acceptable. And make sure you let them know that -- you need to call ASAP and voice your discontent.

I would not have changed a thing about my wedding day. It was absolutely perfect and DH and I enjoyed every minute of it. As with all things in life, I believe it is what you make of it. If you believe it will be a great day, then it will be that way. If you have numerous reservations, then you are setting yourself up to be disappointed.

On another note, you will be dealing with a completely different hall next time so I believe it is unfair to carry negative feelings towards all big gatherings because of your experience with CB.

I loved my wedding. But I can see where your fears lie. I would def call CB on monday and explain the situation. Go over your contract with DM and make sure your instructions are to the letter. I went over my detailed list with my BM and Maitre D' for 2 1/2 hours. did not go over didn't get done, but little tiny things like soap dispensers.

I am so sorry that you and FH didn't have a good time at your E-party.

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Posted by Summer07Bride

I would not have changed a thing about my wedding day. It was absolutely perfect and DH and I enjoyed every minute of it. As with all things in life, I believe it is what you make of it. If you believe it will be a great day, then it will be that way. If you have numerous reservations, then you are setting yourself up to be disappointed.

On another note, you will be dealing with a completely different hall next time so I believe it is unfair to carry negative feelings towards all big gatherings because of your experience with CB.

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absolutely could not agree more. couldnt have said it better myself!

First off I am SHOCKED that that is the way your party went-my wedding was at CB and was absolutely fantastic~and to answer your question I wouldnt change a single thing

I would definitely call them and let them know that you were not happy with your party and why.

I would not rethink getting married and doing the big wedding just b/c of your eparty. First, e party is not as important as your wedding (hate to say it but its the truth) thoses people who RSVPed yes most likely will show the day of your wedding. You will have some that wont show but that will be for emergencies like us, we have 2 sets of couples not show but family members went to the hospital etc.
You just really need to go over your whole contract with Deseversky, to every single detail. This way you know it will be dont right. Normally buffet doesnt have servers, people serve themselves, that is normal~so that isnt CBs fault, I went to a wedding that was a buffet recently and they had 2 people at each 30 foot long table to help out, but they were really only there to tell you what it was in front of you, buffet is to serve yourself. As far as desert that would infuriate me and it needs to be brought up to them~regardless of if your party is over.

Good Luck, dont cancel your wedding just b/c of your experience with them

i posted on the BHB board

don't get cold feet for a reception, just becuase of this horrible experience

I have a suggestion for you.... consider it to be a bit of insurance. Hire a day of coordinator... one that is very highly rated by brides on this site. that way, if by any freak chance the maitre-d' needs to ask questions, or things need to be fixed ASAP, SHE does it, not you

I hear they only cost about $800... which after your experience, would be money well spent.

I wouldn't let this bother me.But thats just me! Your venue is at a TOTALLY different place,and it'll be wonderful. Don't let this one experience hinder your thoughts. I havebeen to CB a few times, and to be honest.......it's NOT all that it's cranked up to be. But opinions are like you know what........everyone has one!! You go on with your wedding, and don't let this mishap bother you. The last thing us girls want to see is you being sad. With that being said, Keep your chin up, and know that we're here for you.

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Posted by portjeffbride

don't get cold feet for a reception, just becuase of this horrible experience

I have a suggestion for you.... consider it to be a bit of insurance. Hire a day of coordinator... one that is very highly rated by brides on this site. that way, if by any freak chance the maitre-d' needs to ask questions, or things need to be fixed ASAP, SHE does it, not you

I hear they only cost about $800... which after your experience, would be money well spent.

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I agree!! The Maitre D is not to ask you anything on your big day only if it is an absolute necessity. They should go to the MOH or any BM, then MOB/FOB then MOG/FOG then you if it can't be resolved. I think that is the order. Don't let this discourage you from having your dream wedding. I guarantee the place you picked is totally different then what you went through at this place. I would bring it to thier attention to what happened and see what they can do for you. I am sorry you had a bad experience.

Before my wedding,I felt the same way. I was so fed up with everyone taking advantage of us, charging the most they possibly can & not always offering the best service. The wedding business can really be a rip off (especially in LI)
But it really was all worth it. My wedding was perfect, I loved every second of it. Of corse it wasn't really perfect but to me it was.
I used to work at DeSeversky & I'm pretty sure you won't be dissapointed. The food is the best & it's beautiful there. It was my dream to get married there but it was over our budget (we had 200 people) I'm sure it will be beautiful so really think about it before you cancel.

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Posted by PegaLega

First off I am SHOCKED that that is the way your party went-my wedding was at CB and was absolutely fantastic~and to answer your question I wouldnt change a single thing

I would definitely call them and let them know that you were not happy with your party and why.

I would not rethink getting married and doing the big wedding just b/c of your eparty. First, e party is not as important as your wedding (hate to say it but its the truth) thoses people who RSVPed yes most likely will show the day of your wedding. You will have some that wont show but that will be for emergencies like us, we have 2 sets of couples not show but family members went to the hospital etc.
You just really need to go over your whole contract with Deseversky, to every single detail. This way you know it will be dont right. Normally buffet doesnt have servers, people serve themselves, that is normal~so that isnt CBs fault, I went to a wedding that was a buffet recently and they had 2 people at each 30 foot long table to help out, but they were really only there to tell you what it was in front of you, buffet is to serve yourself. As far as desert that would infuriate me and it needs to be brought up to them~regardless of if your party is over.

Good Luck, dont cancel your wedding just b/c of your experience with them

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I agree with Peggy. My wedding was at Chateau Briand and everything was amazing, the service was fantastic. It was definetly worth itand I would not have changed one thing.

If I were you, I would give them a call tomorrow and voice my concerns.

I would definetly not cancel my wedding because of this experience. Every hall is different. Make sure that you go over every single detail of your contract with your BM at the Deseversky Mansion. If it is in your budget, then I would hire a day of wedding coordinator to help ease your mind on the day of.

Good Luck with what ever decision you & your fiance make

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Posted by portjeffbride

don't get cold feet for a reception, just becuase of this horrible experience

I have a suggestion for you.... consider it to be a bit of insurance. Hire a day of coordinator... one that is very highly rated by brides on this site. that way, if by any freak chance the maitre-d' needs to ask questions, or things need to be fixed ASAP, SHE does it, not you

I hear they only cost about $800... which after your experience, would be money well spent.

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first off - i totally agree with this bride. if you really dont want to be bothered with the details on the day of - most definitely hire a day of coordinator!! there job is to make sure that everything happens the way YOU planned it. but you dont have to do the footowork on the day of. i usedKnottoBeForgotten and t def saved me A LOT of stress on the big day - and i had a ton of TINY details that HAD to be perfect. you will not regret hiring a professional so that you can relax at your own party.

theres no reason at all that one bad experience at your eparty should effect your decision on the wedding - especially since the wedding is at an entirely unrelated location. im soo sorry you had to deal with bad service - but at some point you might regret letting it change your wedding plans.

to answer your questions - not only is a 5 hour reception TOTALLY 100% WORTH it - in my opinion its not long enough! you spend so much time running around, taking pics, and talking to everyone that all the sudden its time to cut the cake and it's over. don't let the time on your special day get passed you because you are busy dealing with miniscule things because once your wedding is over all you have left is the great memories you made. and you dont want all those memories to be of you talking to the caterer!! hire someone to take care of it for you and enjoy as many seconds of your day as you can cause it goes by in an instant!!

Ok here's the deal... I had a small (35ppl) wedding 3hrs away in my dream location. I had a good time, but I wanted to elope from the very beginning. If I could do it over again I would elope. To me the wedding was not as important as the marriage. It was a fun day, but my marriage is more important then favors, invitations, cakes, and so on. Do what makes you happy. I am happy I have the memories of my dad walking me down the isle, my friends and family being happy, and the 800 pictures to always look back on., but again it just wasn't my 'dream' day. You have to sit down, look deep inside yourself and ask yourself what do I want. Not what people expect, or what your friends/family want but what do YOU want and then talk to fh. I kept quite about why eloping was so important to me and Joe was very mad when I finally explained it to him 1 month AFTER the wedding. No matter what you do it WILL be the most amazing day. FM if you need to talk or if you would like some eloping ideas! I have TONS and TONS nad TONS

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Posted by PegaLega

Normally buffet doesnt have servers, people serve themselves, that is normal~so that isnt CBs fault, I went to a wedding that was a buffet recently and they had 2 people at each 30 foot long table to help out, but they were really only there to tell you what it was in front of you, buffet is to serve yourself. As far as desert that would infuriate me and it needs to be brought up to them~regardless of if your party is over.

Good Luck, dont cancel your wedding just b/c of your experience with them

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As far as the buffet, CB set it up as a buffet where the servers serve the guests. People weren't able to serve themselves. I would not have complained if teh spoons were facing out so the guests could serve themselves. So it was 1 waiter controlling 5 dishes w/ 2 hands.

sooooo sorry to hear your eparty was so disappointing! but i would totally call CB up and let them know how upset you were about the service.


as for the wedding---don't let this deter you. our wedding was the greatest day of our lives--and i wouldn't change anything! honestly--you can go to deseveresky and let them know how disappointed you were with CB and that you want to make sure it doesn't happen on your big day--let them know that you are apprehensive and that you want to make sure you go over everything with them so you are 100% happy. sometimes a hall that hears you were unhappy with someone else will want to make sure they make you that much happier!

Wow, I too was a CB bride and I am really shocked at your experience! They did a great job with service at my wedding and our Maitre'd (Pedro) did a fab job. You really should not let your experience ruin your plans for your wedding though, and you really should call CB to let them know what happened!

I'm so sorry you had a bad experience, but this should not affect your wedding plans! You can still have a fabulous wedding!

We are so sorry to hear about this. Us thinking back on 'Our Wedding' we would of done it the same way but we would of put our foot down so much more to stop some drama that should of never happen.

Your wedding will be beautiful. Just remember to put your foot down. It's your wedding so remember it needs to be your and your FH's way. If you have any other questions please FM us. Everything is going to be beautiful. Here are some hugs.



~dancer and chef~
charlotte and michael