I have a question for all of you (kinda long)

Lets say you have a friend at work who has had some hard times in the past year or so. You help him out- give him cigarettes, buy him lunch and breakfast often. Bring him back pies from Riverhead. Gives him a few bucks here and there.
This same friend ends up getting a substantial settlement from a car accident.
Would you expect this person to do something for you. Even if it was just to buy you lunch or a pack of cigarettes?

The reason why I am asking is someone brought it to my attention and THEY wre upset that this person didnt do anything for me. This other co-worker knew that I pretty much took this person under my wing and helped him out-I didnt tell them- it was just known.

Now that it was brought up to me I am thinking- yeah he could have done something but he never did.

Would you be upset?

Re: I have a question for all of you (kinda long)

I wouldn't expect it but it would be nice that I think of it. Something small I guess. Did this settlement really put them back well on their feet or just back on their feet...KWIM?

Re: I have a question for all of you (kinda long)

If it were me, I wouldnt ever show that it bothered or upset me but Im sure deep down Id be a little put off that there's clearly a lack of appreciation present. Im the type of person that if someone helps me out I always do something in return. And it sounds like you helped quite a bit. Even though I think that you did it out of kindness and were never looking for anything back some kind of reciprocation wouldve been nice. People suck.

Re: I have a question for all of you (kinda long)

That's a difficult one.

I think I would be somewhat irked, but I have found that when you do something for somebody, its best not to have any expectation that they would reciprocate. When you don't expect anything from someone, you're never disappointed (maybe that's horrible - I don't know).

I may mention to this person the next time he or she goes out to lunch, that you would like a cup of coffee or a pack of smokes and see what they do.

Wouldn't lose sleep over it though.

HTH

Re: I have a question for all of you (kinda long)

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Posted by 2010BTB

I wouldn't expect it but it would be nice that I think of it. Something small I guess. Did this settlement really put them back well on their feet or just back on their feet...KWIM?

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It helped him quite alot. He has even booked a cruise- bought new clothes and moved into a bigger and more expensive apartment.

The thing is I didnt even think about it until the other person brought it up to me. Now its bothering me.

Re: I have a question for all of you (kinda long)

Deep down it would irck me but not enough for me to really get into it with anyone.

You did those things b/c you wanted to and you are a good person. Maybe the person who was at the other end of your kindess is a little embarassed by it all? Could be a reason why they aren't 'returning the favor.'

However, when doing these types of things you cant expect to get something in return even though they came into some money.

As long as they have said 'thank you' in the past - I think that's all you'll get in return.

Re: I have a question for all of you (kinda long)

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Posted by Future Mrs H

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Posted by 2010BTB

I wouldn't expect it but it would be nice that I think of it. Something small I guess. Did this settlement really put them back well on their feet or just back on their feet...KWIM?

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It helped him quite alot. He has even booked a cruise- bought new clothes and moved into a bigger and more expensive apartment.

The thing is I didnt even think about it until the other person brought it up to me. Now its bothering me.

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Part of me says that right now you don't 'need' the help. But if you did he would be the first to help. Would be a nice gesture for him to offer something...lunch I think would be perfect...but like I said - I wouldn't expect it.

Re: I have a question for all of you (kinda long)

yeah, it would've been really thoughtful but not everyone is on the same scale of 'niceness.' You did something sweet for a person in need out of the goodness of your heart. It is a little annoying but do you feel that the person took advantage of you?

Re: I have a question for all of you (kinda long)

I think if it wasnt brought up to me I wouldnt have even thought twice about it.
And when I did it I didnt expect it get something back for it.

Re: I have a question for all of you (kinda long)

Totally not answering your question, but my Mom ALWAYS brings back Apple pies and turnovers when she goes to Calverton cemetary.... YUMMMMMMMMM

I wouldn't be upset if they didn't do anything, but I think it would be the right thing to do for said co-worker to give you something nice for always being so caring and helpful. But who knows what the future holds. Maybe on your anniversary or for Christmas, he will give you a gift card or something...

Re: I have a question for all of you (kinda long)

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Posted by 2010BTB

I wouldn't expect it but it would be nice that I think of it. Something small I guess. Did this settlement really put them back well on their feet or just back on their feet...KWIM?

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This!

Re: I have a question for all of you (kinda long)

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Posted by CarolAnn721

Totally not answering your question, but my Mom ALWAYS brings back Apple pies and turnovers when she goes to Calverton cemetary.... YUMMMMMMMMM

I wouldn't be upset if they didn't do anything, but I think it would be the right thing to do for said co-worker to give you something nice for always being so caring and helpful. But who knows what the future holds. Maybe on your anniversary or for Christmas, he will give you a gift card or something...

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Does she go to Briermere Farms? OMG the pies are to die for!!!

Maybe you are right- he did come ot my wedding and maybe he will do something for our anniversary.

Re: I have a question for all of you (kinda long)

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Posted by Future Mrs H

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Posted by CarolAnn721

Totally not answering your question, but my Mom ALWAYS brings back Apple pies and turnovers when she goes to Calverton cemetary.... YUMMMMMMMMM

I wouldn't be upset if they didn't do anything, but I think it would be the right thing to do for said co-worker to give you something nice for always being so caring and helpful. But who knows what the future holds. Maybe on your anniversary or for Christmas, he will give you a gift card or something...

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Does she go to Briermere Farms? OMG the pies are to die for!!!

Maybe you are right- he did come ot my wedding and maybe he will do something for our anniversary.

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YES!!!! BRIERMERE!!! mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

Re: I have a question for all of you (kinda long)

Honestly...I wouldn't have even thought of it!

Re: I have a question for all of you (kinda long)

I wouldn't expect anything, but if I were in his shoes, I would've gotten you something. I'm sitting here thinking of what to get the girl who has been training me at work and she's only been getting PAID to train me.