For Newlyweds Only - I hope I can post this without starting a war . . .

karen32 Posted: Feb 16, 2004 05:12 PM

I hope I can post this without starting a war . . .

i don't understand when Brides to Be post asking for a vendor recommendation (limo, florist, photographer, whatever) that people who are not married yet can respond so enthusiastically about their vendors.

i understand that they booked them based on prior reviews, but is it really right to point someone else there without having experienced them yet yourself???

any thoughts??

jennbaby Posted: Feb 16, 2004 05:16 PM

Re: I hope I can post this without starting a war . . .

Let me admit, I too used to do this, as did alot of us! Now I see how silly it is

Karen FM

worried3 Posted: Feb 16, 2004 05:45 PM

Re: I hope I can post this without starting a war . . .

I agree, i did this too and it is premature, sometimes you gut is right and sometimes you are disappointed. Photographers shouldn't be discussed until after albums are back

Sonicstef Posted: Feb 16, 2004 05:55 PM

Re: I hope I can post this without starting a war . . .

I think its natural to be excited about your vendors so i can see why brides suggest..but i think the reader needs to understand that they have had no experience with them.

But to take it even further, I think brides are probably the least objective people so even after the wedding is over its hard to take the recommendation. I know I was too happy that day to be really critical enough to say for sure if someone was great, good or amazing. I have my opinions of course but its hard to say. And Ive been to lots of weddings where the vendors were aweful but the bride thinks they are great.

And I think eveyrone knows my opinion on giving every single vendor you have A+++++++++++++s. After attending A LOT of weddings, there is no such thing as one that every single aspect runs perfectly. So if someone says every single person involved was flawless, it just means they werent able to judge objectively. Thats wonderful for the bride..b/c who doesnt want to think everything was perfect..but I think we all know it never happens.

janwinterbridejoy Posted: Feb 16, 2004 06:04 PM

Re: I hope I can post this without starting a war . . .

i must admit i did recomend my d.j as i had seen them at other weddings and thought they were great UNTILL my wedding lol now i wouldnt ever recommend them and hope that no one took my recommedation seriously. i truly believe that unless you ahve used them you shouldnt recomend(sp) them

Sunny Posted: Feb 16, 2004 09:13 PM

Re: I hope I can post this without starting a war . . .

I think that as a bride to be you can post about your experience with a vendor so far, on things like professionalism, prices, etc.

HearzBellz Posted: Feb 16, 2004 11:12 PM

Re: I hope I can post this without starting a war . . .

I did this... I guess to some extent I still do..... I mean, I haven't seen my video or my final photo album & I am still giving out info for them....

I ranted my vendors ontheir ability to deliveer what they promised, as well as their understanding of the 'Big Picture' that was my wedding... not just their part in it, but how their part fit into the whole, and the level of aggravation caused.... (like my dress shop & string trio....)

but then again, my A+ could be someone else's F... you never know

What-Now Posted: Feb 16, 2004 11:42 PM

Re: I hope I can post this without starting a war . . .

Well, to spin off of Stef's comment , I can honestly say that I am NOT guilty (unfortunatelly) of giving A+++++++++++ to every vendor I used.

I fact, out of all the vendors I used: hall, make-up, hair, dress, flowers, limos, tuxes etc, etc, only one vendor--my florist--didn't screw anything up and did a SUPERB job, and therefor gets an enthusiastic A+ from yours truly!

Everyone else gets a B minus or a C!

NYCMeghan Posted: Feb 17, 2004 12:53 AM

Re: I hope I can post this without starting a war . . .

As a BTB who has stuck her nose in on the newlywed board a few times I can totally see the issue with this - the whole point of having a BHB board is for wedding and vendor questions/issues - and its not like the newlyweds are mysteriously blocked from that board once y'all get that 2nd ring on! But I think its an expertise question - as a BTB I want all of the input I can from those with more experience, which happen to be the ladies on this side of the fence. My feeling is this: I reserve myself ONE vendor/wedding question or post for this board ONLY IF it hasn't been addressed on the other side. Even a link here to a question posted on the BHB I think is better. So far I haven't used my one question, but even if every BTB had my system there would still be too many vendor questions here. So my advice (if its worth anything) is that if there is a question a newlywed can answer on a vendor related issue posted here and not on the BHB side, maybe FM instead of posting back? Perhaps by not extending the vendor question threads here there will be less of them?

PS - I can't wait until I'm over here bi*ching about my DH!

minniebride14 Posted: Feb 17, 2004 07:46 AM

Re: I hope I can post this without starting a war . . .

karen32, you are so right!! You have FM!

ChristineC68 Posted: Feb 17, 2004 09:46 AM

Re: I hope I can post this without starting a war . . .

I think at that point the B2B are looking for recommendations of where to go and who to meet with. If a planning bride had a great experience or bad experience with a vendor, they will have an opinion to share.

It's natural that you would recommend someone you hired.

But in all honesty, I would hate to see the NW board clogged up with BHB questions. I try to go to the BHB board and answer questions or give recommendations.

aliciahelene Posted: Feb 17, 2004 09:55 AM

Re: I hope I can post this without starting a war . . .

In my case I asked for opinions because I live in jersey and didnt have the time to come and check out each and every vendor myself, so Ia sked for recoomendations on here because often times alot of brides have already been to the vendors office and was able to tell me the vendors style, this helped me to narrow my search down. Also alot of newlyweds still go on BHB and give reccomendations. I found it extremely helpful. I found Wild Rose video on my own, but once I found this web site ( LIWEDDINGS) and read all of the reviews, I knew they were someone worth meeting with. Same with makeup artists, I was able to see pics of trials. Also on the BHB, already married brides were able to post their proofs, which really helped me to narrow things down.

karen32 Posted: Feb 17, 2004 10:00 AM

Re: I hope I can post this without starting a war . . .

Posted by ChristineC68

But in all honesty, I would hate to see the NW board clogged up with BHB questions. I try to go to the BHB board and answer questions or give recommendations.

i don't think the NW board should be clogged up with BHB questions, either. i check out the BHB board frequently, and offer advice where i can be useful.

however, it bothers me that a new person posts looking for a vendor recommendation and 99% of the people who respond have no 'actual' experience with the vendor. signing a contract with a vendor is a lot different from the vendor performing the day of your wedding. you would hope during the contract phase that any vendor would be on their best behavior.

i agree with stef also - that even after the fact, it is hard for us to always be objective.

i just saw a post yesterday that really bothered me, so i just wanted to get my feelings out. i appreciate this not turning into a drama-fest.

ChristineC68 Posted: Feb 17, 2004 10:06 AM

Re: I hope I can post this without starting a war . . .

Posted by karen32

Posted by ChristineC68

But in all honesty, I would hate to see the NW board clogged up with BHB questions. I try to go to the BHB board and answer questions or give recommendations.

i don't think the NW board should be clogged up with BHB questions, either. i check out the BHB board frequently, and offer advice where i can be useful.

however, it bothers me that a new person posts looking for a vendor recommendation and 99% of the people who respond have no 'actual' experience with the vendor. signing a contract with a vendor is a lot different from the vendor performing the day of your wedding. you would hope during the contract phase that any vendor would be on their best behavior.

i agree with stef also - that even after the fact, it is hard for us to always be objective.

i just saw a post yesterday that really bothered me, so i just wanted to get my feelings out. i appreciate this not turning into a drama-fest.

We aren't too dramatic over here

I think because of the division of the boards and the fact that there are more brides on the bride boards then NW this will always be the case.

But I agree completely with your point - it's kind of like putting the cart before the horse

Sonicstef Posted: Feb 17, 2004 10:12 AM

Re: I hope I can post this without starting a war . . .

You know what bothers me? When a bride who had her wedding comes on and gives a bad review of a vendor and then the brides-to-be that have booked that vendor gang up and attack her. That takes such balls IMO. How can someone who has not yet had their wedding tell someone who has that they are wrong?

Thankfully, that has never happened to me but when I see it happens to another girl I feel really bad for her b/c all she is trying to do is warn other brides-to-be.

Misty Posted: Feb 17, 2004 10:14 AM

Re: I hope I can post this without starting a war . . .

I completely agree with you. I think we all at one point or another learned the hard way, that weddings are a business, and that the degree to which most vendors are wonderful to you on the day you book them....is sometimes just as awful they are to you after you are done with them. I think a lot of brides get their judgement clouded by this, as well as the pictures they see of others weddings etc. It's wonderful to hope and have confidence that it will all turn out perfectly. But let's be honest, most of the time, something, be it very small, or very big, will go wrong.

Jenn P Posted: Feb 17, 2004 11:06 AM

Re: I hope I can post this without starting a war . . .

While I agree with the logic of your statement, Karen, two thoughts come to mind:

-I daresay most BTB are smart enough to take the information they hear with a grain of salt. As impressed as they may be with what they hear, they still have to make a decision for themselves. If the BTB giving info doesn't make it clear whether they're actually married, their wedding date is posted just to the left.

-Brides make up the biggest percentage of people on BHB. There comes a time when all the NWs just don't go over there as often. Who else will they get info from?

Every once in a while a question like this comes up-the subject matter varies but the question is the same: what 'shouldn't' people be saying? With the exception of blatant insults or slander, people should be able to speak whatever's on their mind. Other members of the board can take the words for whatever they're worth to them.

minniebride14 Posted: Feb 17, 2004 12:51 PM

Re: I hope I can post this without starting a war . . .

Posted by Sonicstef

You know what bothers me? When a bride who had her wedding comes on and gives a bad review of a vendor and then the brides-to-be that have booked that vendor gang up and attack her. That takes such balls IMO. How can someone who has not yet had their wedding tell someone who has that they are wrong?

Thankfully, that has never happened to me but when I see it happens to another girl I feel really bad for her b/c all she is trying to do is warn other brides-to-be.

Stef, you are SOOO right!!!! That is EXACTLY what happened to me! It does take balls - and it's very hurtful and unfair as well! The bad experience with the vendor on your wedding day is bad enough. THEN, to have a bride who has NOT used that vendor yet, have the NERVE and CALOUSNESS to tell you that you are wrong is insane! How is it even remotely possible for someone who has NOT used a vendor yet to comment on a bride who HAS and bash her for HER OWN PERSONAL experience? It's simply not right - and it really makes you wonder...

MarcellaBella Posted: Feb 17, 2004 01:16 PM

Re: I hope I can post this without starting a war . . .

Posted by karen32

i don't understand when Brides to Be post asking for a vendor recommendation (limo, florist, photographer, whatever) that people who are not married yet can respond so enthusiastically about their vendors.

i understand that they booked them based on prior reviews, but is it really right to point someone else there without having experienced them yet yourself???

any thoughts??

AMEN girl!!!

It's not right.. and I also believe that many of these brides get freebies and/or prizes for their endorsements..

it's bad//