I hope I can post this without starting a war . . .

Im sure thats true in some cases but I think it has more to do with people justifying their own decisions. Like if I pick Joe the DJ for my wedding and then someone thinks Joe the DJ was aweful, I have to defend Joe the DJ (even though I have no clue) b/c Im indirectly saying 'i made the right decision' to myself. Its all very twisted.

Not that if one person has a bad experience, everyone should fire that person but you would think people would be more appreciative of hearing both sides so they can make an educated decision about what to do.

But i guess its human nature. Plus we all know how stressful the planning can be to some girls so i think its an unusual mental state.

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Posted by Sonicstef

Im sure thats true in some cases but I think it has more to do with people justifying their own decisions. Like if I pick Joe the DJ for my wedding and then someone thinks Joe the DJ was aweful, I have to defend Joe the DJ (even though I have no clue) b/c Im indirectly saying 'i made the right decision' to myself. Its all very twisted.

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that was very, very well said, Stef!!!!!

although it bothered me to know my photographer wasn't really known or well-liked, i had the advanced knowledge of knowing where they 'could' be potential issues. i think going into it educated is the best possible thing.

however, i think everything gets twisted when people are constantly bombarded by cheerleaders who haven't even been through it yet.

I think alot of those 'cheerleaders' have some financial incentive for being so 'enthusiastic.' In fact, I know this is the case. I just don't understand why most brides-to-be don't realize it!

Stef, you are SOOO right!!!! That is EXACTLY what happened to me! It does take balls - and it's very hurtful and unfair as well! The bad experience with the vendor on your wedding day is bad enough. THEN, to have a bride who has NOT used that vendor yet, have the NERVE and CALOUSNESS to tell you that you are wrong is insane! How is it even remotely possible for someone who has NOT used a vendor yet to comment on a bride who HAS and bash her for HER OWN PERSONAL experience? It's simply not right - and it really makes you wonder...
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Minniebride...I couldn't have said it better myself! I posted a WELL-DESERVED negative review of my florist and, a bride to be on this board posted a picture of what she claimed to be my bo-k asking other brides-to-be whether they thought there was anything wrong with it! Can you believe that?

Also, I posted a negative commentary about my florists lack of professionalism in giving info about my wedding to his other brides-to-be and telling them to take pictures without my permission. I got married at Oheka for the privacy. What this florist did was appalling! Then, not only did I get attacked but, LI Weddings deleted my post!

I learned my lesson. Now, any comments I have are kept to myself!

I guess that Brides to be are excited with their choice and maybe dont have any idea that their opinion can totally change

I for one am the first to say, you will never truly know how you will feel about a vendor until your wedding day. I was content with my photographer and band before my wedding, but when half the band is replacements at your wedding, I think that sheds alot of light on your thoughts on them. Or when my photographers were verbally abusive after I stated a dislike in my end result of the album...that really changes who and what you feel you are dealing with. I say you TRULY cant know until after the wedding. Maybe they just cant realize that until after the wedding as we did....

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Posted by Annieb

Stef, you are SOOO right!!!! That is EXACTLY what happened to me! It does take balls - and it's very hurtful and unfair as well! The bad experience with the vendor on your wedding day is bad enough. THEN, to have a bride who has NOT used that vendor yet, have the NERVE and CALOUSNESS to tell you that you are wrong is insane! How is it even remotely possible for someone who has NOT used a vendor yet to comment on a bride who HAS and bash her for HER OWN PERSONAL experience? It's simply not right - and it really makes you wonder...
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Minniebride...I couldn't have said it better myself! I posted a WELL-DESERVED negative review of my florist and, a bride to be on this board posted a picture of what she claimed to be my bo-k asking other brides-to-be whether they thought there was anything wrong with it! Can you believe that?

Also, I posted a negative commentary about my florists lack of professionalism in giving info about my wedding to his other brides-to-be and telling them to take pictures without my permission. I got married at Oheka for the privacy. What this florist did was appalling! Then, not only did I get attacked but, LI Weddings deleted my post!

I learned my lesson. Now, any comments I have are kept to myself!

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Annie, I had no idea!! I'm so sorry that that happened to you.. I guess it was deleted before I even got around to reading it.. although I know the feeling being that I too, have had posts deleted.. and yet there are others who will then come on and later question what my beef is about but I can't say without being deleted! LOL

Thanks Marcella!

I find the sensoring pretty ridiculous. My post was completely honest. There was no cursing, no ranting, just the truth. The TRUTH is that these boards are only helpful to a certain extent. Any time any criticism is postes about a paying vendor and that vendor complains, SURPRISE...the post is deleted! The shame of it all is that my florist appears to be so well loved on here. I trusted him 100% b/c I never read a negative review. Then, after my wedding...all these unsatisfied brides surface.

I hope brides-to-be realize how commercial this site has gotten. Its durability depends on the money from the vendors...so, you shouldn't expect an accurate portrayal of those vendors!

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Posted by Annieb

Thanks Marcella!

I find the sensoring pretty ridiculous. My post was completely honest. There was no cursing, no ranting, just the truth. The TRUTH is that these boards are only helpful to a certain extent. Any time any criticism is postes about a paying vendor and that vendor complains, SURPRISE...the post is deleted! The shame of it all is that my florist appears to be so well loved on here. I trusted him 100% b/c I never read a negative review. Then, after my wedding...all these unsatisfied brides surface.

I hope brides-to-be realize how commercial this site has gotten. Its durability depends on the money from the vendors...so, you shouldn't expect an accurate portrayal of those vendors!

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Very well said....I think that for the most part, there are many brides who probably are afraid to express their neg. dealings wih a certain vendor for fear of being attacked.. it's sad.. and you are right about this site, I too, have seen the change and am glad tat my wedding is done and over with.. I think that for all the money we pay for this one day, the least that one could hope for is a site where one could say what they want without the risk of being banned or deleted and denied the right of telling their side..

there is something that i always wondered about posts that are deleted.

are they deleted because of the initial negative review, or are they deleted because of the barrage of attacks that follow a negative review?? a bad experience that is factual is a bad experience. i think the trouble ensues when everyone puts their 2 cents in and takes it to a personal level. i wonder if certain people force an issue to the point that the post HAS to be removed.

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Posted by karen32

there is something that i always wondered about posts that are deleted.

are they deleted because of the initial negative review, or are they deleted because of the barrage of attacks that follow a negative review?? a bad experience that is factual is a bad experience. i think the trouble ensues when everyone puts their 2 cents in and takes it to a personal level. i wonder if certain people force an issue to the point that the post HAS to be removed.

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I think you're right to a certain extent, but for the most part, I feel that it usually happens when that specific vendor advertises on this board..

I know of one bride in particular who was attacked on her own review thread and her posts were deleted as well as her account being deactivated..

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Posted by Annieb

I think alot of those 'cheerleaders' have some financial incentive for being so 'enthusiastic.' In fact, I know this is the case. I just don't understand why most brides-to-be don't realize it!

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I know for a fact that's the case too. And, it's VERY unfair for brides-to-be who base even just part of their vendor decisions on these 'cheerleader' posts. They are inaccurate and totally biased. And, they are NOT being allowed to see the ENTIRE picture.

Ive had a thread deleted too. I posted an experience with a vendor and it was poof gone a few days later. No skin off my nose really...I didnt book him.

If people are getting incentives for their recommendations, I want to know where my check is...ahahhahah

On the brighter side, I think that there are certain vendors that are very popular for good reason - they are good! ( Not to say a vendor that is popular cant be aweful ) Not all vendors are giving away checks for recommendations...i know my vendors didnt as Im sure most reputable ones dont.

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Posted by Sonicstef

On the brighter side, I think that there are certain vendors that are very popular for good reason - they are good! ( Not to say a vendor that is popular cant be aweful ) Not all vendors are giving away checks for recommendations...i know my vendors didnt as Im sure most reputable ones dont.

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well said

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Posted by Sonicstef

Ive had a thread deleted too. I posted an experience with a vendor and it was poof gone a few days later. No skin off my nose really...I didnt book him.

If people are getting incentives for their recommendations, I want to know where my check is...ahahhahah

On the brighter side, I think that there are certain vendors that are very popular for good reason - they are good! ( Not to say a vendor that is popular cant be aweful ) Not all vendors are giving away checks for recommendations...i know my vendors didnt as Im sure most reputable ones dont.

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'Poof' is a popular sentiment around here, it seems when speaking or looking for the truth...

I think your check was put in the mail RIGHT AFTER MINE - lol!

Absolutely - there are EXCELLENT vendors out there - in work product, professionalism and honesty - no doubt! I've had contact with a few AFTER my wedding.

Most reputable ones won't: You said it all...

I don't feel that strongly about this issue so believe me I'm not trying to argue. I do think its unfair to say that the brides who are so enthusiastic are being paid by the vendors. I'm not saying it doesn't happen, I'm sure it does. However, I think most of the brides are just so excited about their wedding and their choices that the can't help being cheerleaders. That's how I always took it when I saw a bride-to-bride that was so gung-ho. Its not really that much about the vendor. Its just a way to talk about the wedding over and over again while you're planning. That's how we all got to be addicted and obsessed, I don't know why so many people have forgotten already.
As for newlyweds, I think most people give their 'honest' opinions which are colored by the fact that most of us enjoyed our weddings so much that we're not that objective.

Hey Girls, I am a newlywed for alittle over a month... I haven't been posting all that much since I've been married because I feel kinda screw'd over by a vendor...
I indeed am guilty of being excited for the vendors that I had chosen before the wedding, posting about them and basically endorsing them before actually using them.. All went perfect until we entered our reception, (the music) that's all I'm saying.
I was so caught up with the fact that all was out of my hands and that they were professionals and they will do all we ask. Sometimes things don't end up that way and I guess we learn from our mistakes...

other than that i had a perfect wedding!!
deedee

deedee...welcome back! we missed you!!!!!

The fact of the matter is, it reminds me of High school....no matter how bad your football team is, you will root for them out of a sense of pride for them...like you are part of it... I think the vendors are the same way. You feel personally offended at times when a Bride has a bad experience with YOUR vendor. Also, a little panic too, like soemthign bad might happen at your wedding that you worked so hard to plan.

I loved most of my vendors.. and really love a few....but I know of girls who did not find their work up to par at their own wedding.... it is just a difference in opinion. When the B2B collects all these differences it can help them find what is right for them....jmho