I know what I have to do

I feel like this could go either way. Your cousin could really appreciate the gesture or she could feel like everybody is mocking her and rubbing it in her face. I would definitely have your Aunt ask her if she wants you all to wear them first. Otherwise suggest that maybe you all just wear pins to show your support.
My second thing about this is.... would you wear the bandana if it was your close friend that had cancer and her Mom wanted everyone to wear one to her party? I don't think that your -not so close friendship anymore- should play a part in your decision. I would not want to wear a bandana either but if my cousin wanted me to, to help support her I would no matter what type of relationship we were having at that moment. What is important is that she is fighting the cancer and knows that everyone is supportive of her.
I keep thinking of 'Grey's Anantomy' from last week where Dr. Bailey kept saying she was going to Rise Above.... Rise Above.
Good luck and let us know what the outcome is.

well first of all, i don't know the detais of what happened between you are your cousin.
I do think that when something like this happens to a family, regardless of their feelings/attitudes for one another, that you need to support them no matter what.
I know from personal experience. My dad's cousin was recently diagnosed with Breast cancer. her family (husband and children) took it really hard and became depressed. She was taking a turn for the worst because she didnt have the support of her family. My mom started to take her to treatments and offer to help with cooking and things like that and she said it gave her alot of support and made her feel good that people cared.

I just think that especially at this time, you should put your differences aside - maybe you can re-connect and become close, and if you don't you will know in your heart that YOU did the right thing.

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Posted by Future Mrs.

I would definitely attend, and bring a bandana with you. Don't wear it in if you don't feel comfortable...but just bring it with you and keep it in your purse. Perhaps you can wear it on your wrist? THis shows support for your cousin, but won't make you uncomfortable.

I think that this is one of those complicated situations where there is no right answer, but you just have to go with your instinctual feelings and no matter what, support her.
Any pre/post wedding disagreements need to be put aside.......she needs all the support she can get right now and I think you should be there as best you can.

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i couldnt have put it better myself.

this is my own personal exp with family and cancer...not saying you need to handle it the same but thought id share. my father and i had a tumultuous relationship for some time before he was diagnosed with brain cancer. those types of experiences show you what truly matter in life. immediately, we turned a new page in our relationship and i learned the true meaning of the forgiveness that the Lord calls us to. it was probably THE most rewarding experience of my life and allowed my father and I to spend that last year of his life building the father/daughter relationship we hadn't had since I was a child.

just some things to think about...would you want her to forgive any past disagreements to be there to support you if the roles were reversed? try not to think of how the bandana would make you feel if you were her, but moreso about how you think it will make her feel. would the bandanas be suggested in the first place if immediate fam thought it would make her feel you were all mocking her?