I'm not liking this combined banking crap

DH checks the bank account almost every day and scrutinizes every bill we get. Well, I've been spending money here and there, buying things that are necessary for the house like linens, some of our everyday dinnerware that we didn't get, and other things like gas and groceries. Well, I just get this e-mail from him asking me how I spent $700 this month. I'm like, why are you concerned about $700???!!!
We both make decent money, so there's no reason for him to be so nitpicky about how much money I'm spending. I'm pretty frugal too, so it's not like now that we're married and have a combined account I'm going to go crazy and spend all our money!
Ugh, I don't like this! I don't like him questioning me about what I'm buying. I want my own bank account back!!!!
Is anybody else having this problem?

Re: I'm not liking this combined banking crap

We kept our seperate accounts of our own and put $ into a joint account for all our joint bills, mortagage and savings. We keep our spending $ seperate. It works well that way.

Re: I'm not liking this combined banking crap

we do the individual spending account, joint bill/savings. it works best for us. that way we don't have to worry about bouncing checks or looking over each others sholders each time we buy something. i can def. see how that would become irritating!!

Re: I'm not liking this combined banking crap

We have our own individual accounts and then we have a joint savings account. We split the bills (I pay some, he pays some) and it's worked out very well.

Re: I'm not liking this combined banking crap

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Posted by Valentinegirl

We kept our seperate accounts of our own and put $ into a joint account for all our joint bills, mortagage and savings. We keep our spending $ seperate. It works well that way.

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I agree with Valentinegirl, this is what we do, its so much easier than going through the aggravation of hearing that I'm spending to much!

Re: I'm not liking this combined banking crap

I just e-mailed DH and told him this very thing - that we should have one combined account to pay the bills with and then our own spending accounts. That way I can get him off my back but it's also because I don't want him to see how much money I spend on gifts for him and vice versa.

Re: I'm not liking this combined banking crap

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Posted by Valentinegirl

We kept our seperate accounts of our own and put $ into a joint account for all our joint bills, mortagage and savings. We keep our spending $ seperate. It works well that way.

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This is what we are planning on doing!!!!

Re: I'm not liking this combined banking crap

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Posted by Anniegrl

DH checks the bank account almost every day and scrutinizes every bill we get.

Ugh, I don't like this! I don't like him questioning me about what I'm buying. I want my own bank account back!!!!
Is anybody else having this problem?

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From your lips to G-d's ears.......... DH is a cranky MoFo b/c he chcks the accounts 2 sometimes 3 times a day. We got phone and online banking for free with our account....he's obsessed. I feel bad, b/c my credit S U C K S, so we are relying on his credit for when we get a mortgage & for the cars & stuff, so he is super-concerned about his credit score (which is actually really good, but never good enough for him.)
I just bought plane tickets to go see my grandfather in Florida (he is sick) and DH's all....'Why did you spend $250????? I am like, 'Are you serious?'

I think I am going to do the same as Valentinegirl & suggest we get our own spending accounts back.

I already have one, but it is strictly to pay my student loan.

Re: I'm not liking this combined banking crap

I had to totally opposite- we had separate accounts, and I did the bills. I begged and begged for a joint account and DH refused.
So, I let him do all the bills, and he saw my frustration when he now had to ask me for a check every month for the bills...

We just got our joint checking (had savings) and so far, we both like it. He's cute, he asked if he could still buy things! LOL NO-
ha, I said of course, I wasn't trying to take your money! So, I like it (I might sing a different song next month though)

Re: I'm not liking this combined banking crap

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Posted by HearzBellz

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Posted by Anniegrl

DH checks the bank account almost every day and scrutinizes every bill we get.

Ugh, I don't like this! I don't like him questioning me about what I'm buying. I want my own bank account back!!!!
Is anybody else having this problem?

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From your lips to G-d's ears.......... DH is a cranky MoFo b/c he chcks the accounts 2 sometimes 3 times a day. We got phone and online banking for free with our account....he's obsessed. I feel bad, b/c my credit S U C K S, so we are relying on his credit for when we get a mortgage & for the cars & stuff, so he is super-concerned about his credit score (which is actually really good, but never good enough for him.)
I just bought plane tickets to go see my grandfather in Florida (he is sick) and DH's all....'Why did you spend $250????? I am like, 'Are you serious?'

I think I am going to do the same as Valentinegirl & suggest we get our own spending accounts back.

I already have one, but it is strictly to pay my student loan.

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UGH! Sounds like we are both married to El Cheapo
I just got an e-mail from DH saying that he won't criticize my spending anymore and we don't need separate accounts. So I wrote back, yeah we do!
I just know he won't be able to resist criticizing me when he starts seeing how much I spend on things like clothes and haircuts. But I'm supposed to keep quiet on how much money he wants to spend on mods for his perfectly good car?

Re: I'm not liking this combined banking crap

tell me about it...he just bought $300 fog light for his new truck & I get yelled at b/c I bought a new $50 pair of shoes. Men can be so selfish.....
Meanwhile, we joined Costco to 'save money' but every time we go there he buys crap & we end up spending $300 - $400!!!!!

friggin hypocrite. This has been a very big issue with us lately....

Re: I'm not liking this combined banking crap

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Posted by november12003

We have our own individual accounts and then we have a joint savings account. We split the bills (I pay some, he pays some) and it's worked out very well.

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We also do the same and it works out well for us also

Re: I'm not liking this combined banking crap

We have a joint Savings/Checking for paying the bills. By DH doesn't want to be responsible for the household bill paying.
So even though it's joint ...I'm the one doing all the transactions.
Plus we have one seperate joint savings account that is our House Fund.

Re: I'm not liking this combined banking crap

HearzBellz I am in the exact same boat. My husband's credit is impeccible and mine is CRAP and he likes to point it out.

But part of me likes to have the accountability of him questioning certain expenses, b/c before I met him I managed to live paycheck to paycheck and waste tons of money.

Now I feel a little more responsible. But I admit, its not fun to have to justify spending your own money...

Re: I'm not liking this combined banking crap

We will be married in October and live together and I AM the one calling and asking, 'you spent how much at Home Depot AGAIN!? I have gone from careless spending to scrooge!!! I pay the bills from on-line and I check my account and 'our' account daily...He use to be the frugal one, I don't know what has happened!

Re: I'm not liking this combined banking crap

paulandles912: I hate explaining myself. My credit may have been crummy, but it was not b/c of spending habits, it was b/c of my job. Anywhoo.....I hate the justifying part, too. I am glad that he keeps on top of things though.....I would hate to have to do it all myself....he just needs to take it down a notch or two

SandraLynn.....The Depot is DH vice, too.....that is one credit card that he ALWAYS has a balance on.....

Re: I'm not liking this combined banking crap

Hrm
Im the 'watcher' between us.
I check the account and have excel spreadsheets that dicate where every penny is spent. He gets an allowance but it's more or less all on the bank card. If he goes over, I know quickly and yes I do ask 'why'.

I also get upset when I come home and find a new toy of his (camera) or new anything. 'Where did that come from and how did you pay for it?' This has only happened like twice.

Still I find it necessary that he understands that if he spends money from our account (regardless of our balance) then it's difficult for me to continue on my budget (i live by one) and save money the way I want. I can't rely on the money I 'think' is in the bank if he just spends willy nilly.

So prehaps I a bad woman. He's learned to deal with it. He still has his own account, but I montior that one too. *shrug*

Re: I'm not liking this combined banking crap

we each have our own account and we have a joint account. but he's always on the internet checking out all the accounts all the time and seeing where the $ goes! I HATE that!

Re: I'm not liking this combined banking crap

Oh girl I FEEL your pain!! I am right there with you. My DH looks at the bank online every night and asks 'what's this? and this'? I then have to remind him that I contribute $$ too!! We finally had to set spending limits; like - if something is more than $50 - we have to call each other and discuss whether or not it is a justified purchase.

Re: I'm not liking this combined banking crap

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Posted by MrsTC

Oh girl I FEEL your pain!! I am right there with you. My DH looks at the bank online every night and asks 'what's this? and this'? I then have to remind him that I contribute $$ too!! We finally had to set spending limits; like - if something is more than $50 - we have to call each other and discuss whether or not it is a justified purchase.

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We do something like that, if it's a major purchase we make it together, otherwise we can do what we want. At first, there was a lot of what this and this, but he's mellowed out cuz he realized that he doesn't have to do any shopping anymore. Everything is miraculously there when he needs it . I think a little birdie made that point to him