I might get flamed for this, but I don't care.

Rachel.. Im not married yet but Im crashing the NW board..

Anyway I totally realize this and actually make it a point not to spew wedding information at those who do not ask. Though I know MANY people are looking foward to our wedding for various reasons, I totally know what you mean that some brides think that thw world should stop in preparation for the big day

YES! I completely agree! Not only that but I hear of way too many stories or read too many threads where un-important things are being stressed over. Who cares who wears what? Who cares about people's hair and make-up? Who cares about the color of someone's dress? In the end it comes down to the union of you and your new husband. Having those you love the most share that with you is what matters...everyone healthy, everyone happy...no worries over clashing dresses. That's what it's about! 50 years from now I'll look back at my wedding day and thank God that my whole family was there. I'll laugh about the fact that my dress was finished the morning of my wedding, that one of my BM wore a completely different designer and color (and still looked amazing and like she belonged in my BP!) and I'll thank God that my mom was able to sew as much as she did just for me...I have amazing pictures of mom finishing the MOH's dress as I patiently wait with tiara and veil on - full make-up on!
Things need to be kept in perspective and I don't think a lot of people can do that...if I had a dollar for every person who completely freaked out when they heard my dress was not ordered, ready or in process until the week of the wedding I would be rich. But I didn't care...if I had to I would have bought an off the rack at David's...my focus was on getting my family here and the rest was all up to God! I thank Him for making me realize what was important and keeping me calm...

So yes Rachel...you're right...it's upsetting that some brides to be can't step out of themselves and see that it is not all about them and their 'date, decor, dresses, BP', etc...it's about the union of 2 families...ease up on the rest...

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Posted by SomethingBlu

YES! I completely agree! Not only that but I hear of way too many stories or read too many threads where un-important things are being stressed over. Who cares who wears what? Who cares about people's hair and make-up? Who cares about the color of someone's dress? In the end it comes down to the union of you and your new husband. Having those you love the most share that with you is what matters...everyone healthy, everyone happy...no worries over clashing dresses. That's what it's about! 50 years from now I'll look back at my wedding day and thank God that my whole family was there. I'll laugh about the fact that my dress was finished the morning of my wedding, that one of my BM wore a completely different designer and color (and still looked amazing and like she belonged in my BP!) and I'll thank God that my mom was able to sew as much as she did just for me...I have amazing pictures of mom finishing the MOH's dress as I patiently wait with tiara and veil on - full make-up on!
Things need to be kept in perspective and I don't think a lot of people can do that...if I had a dollar for every person who completely freaked out when they heard my dress was not ordered, ready or in process until the week of the wedding I would be rich. But I didn't care...if I had to I would have bought an off the rack at David's...my focus was on getting my family here and the rest was all up to God! I thank Him for making me realize what was important and keeping me calm...

So yes Rachel...you're right...it's upsetting that some brides to be can't step out of themselves and see that it is not all about them and their 'date, decor, dresses, BP', etc...it's about the union of 2 families...ease up on the rest...

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AMEN.

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Posted by ckgmwedding

Very well said, everyone. But I think that there are people who dreamed of this day for the whole lives(I was not one of them), so it takes on this whole importance for every detail which isn't really needed. I remember thinking, I will just be happy if my DH shows up and my grandmother is alive and well to share in the day- so I guess its a matter of perspective.

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I understand this, and it's FINE to have dreamt of that day your whole life, but that does not mean it has to be EVERYONE else's dream, as well. That's more my point. It's like, if you don't do it accordingly, you are evil or something.

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Posted by prncssrachel

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Posted by ckgmwedding

Very well said, everyone. But I think that there are people who dreamed of this day for the whole lives(I was not one of them), so it takes on this whole importance for every detail which isn't really needed. I remember thinking, I will just be happy if my DH shows up and my grandmother is alive and well to share in the day- so I guess its a matter of perspective.

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I understand this, and it's FINE to have dreamt of that day your whole life, but that does not mean it has to be EVERYONE else's dream, as well. That's more my point. It's like, if you don't do it accordingly, you are evil or something.

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I got the point and I agree- I had people wear white to the wedding, a MIL who couldn't walk down the aisle since she was worried about her husband who has Alzitmetzers, etc and it ALL didn't matter to me. So I totally get your point- but I do see why some brides get themselves nuts with it all. Not that it makes it right

I also remember being a bridesmaid and having the bride get all pissy that my mom was doing my hair rather than paying 100 to get it done. I had to send her a pic of what my mom planned on doing. So I swore I wouldn't get all nuts about that stuff.

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my focus was on getting my family here and the rest was all up to God! I thank Him for making me realize what was important and keeping me calm...
Posted by SomethingBlu

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I totally agree with your post. I was also happy to be getting married and that my family and friends were there with us! I was NOT A BRIDEZILLA in any way! I was very laid back and let my girls choose what makeup and what hairstyles they wanted. I enjoyed every minute of it! The only thing I choose and was adament about was the bridesmaid dresses, b/c I always wanted a purple dress with silver and purple beading (which looked like ice chips across the top/ middle half). The dress had a 'Winter theme' and I wanted to keep the 'Winter Theme' (actually, come to think of it, the dresses and only my bouquet were the only part of the theme, but I wanted to incorporate the winter into it some how). The girls liked the dress any way. Other than that I could care less what the girls did. I woke up the day of my wedding and I was refreshed, relaxed, but excited at the same time. The entire day I felt so laid back, like I was on a cloud.

As for the bridezillas, I will never understand that. It is a time you are supposed to enjoy and remember. I remember I was a total pain while preparing for my prom and I promised myself I would never put myself or anyone else through that again. I realized that I had to compromise. Everything came out perfect at the end of my wedding day. I knew it would no matter what. It was mine and dh's day and it would be great no matter what! That is the way I felt.

I am not flaming you but I think getting married makes everything else seem unimportant. Not more important than life or death situations of course but it became more important than my job for a while and my weekend plans had to be altered MANY times becuase of wedding related things. My immediate family and close friends also made me feel extra special.

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Posted by diamondgrlie

I am not flaming you but I think getting married makes everything else seem unimportant. Not more important than life or death situations of course but it became more important than my job for a while and my weekend plans had to be altered MANY times becuase of wedding related things. My immediate family and close friends also made me feel extra special.

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Again, this is fine. If it's within the confines of your OWN life, then I can understand. What I CAN'T understand is if you expected your wedding to be more important than OTHER PEOPLE'S jobs (which I am SURE you did not!). I completely understand someone's wedding being the center of the universe to them, just not to everyone around them. Like, I wouldn't have ever expected my bridesmaids or family to change their plans or miss work for something related to my own wedding. I don't know, maybe I'm not being clear.

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Posted by prncssrachel

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Posted by diamondgrlie

I am not flaming you but I think getting married makes everything else seem unimportant. Not more important than life or death situations of course but it became more important than my job for a while and my weekend plans had to be altered MANY times becuase of wedding related things. My immediate family and close friends also made me feel extra special.

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Again, this is fine. If it's within the confines of your OWN life, then I can understand. What I CAN'T understand is if you expected your wedding to be more important than OTHER PEOPLE'S jobs (which I am SURE you did not!). I completely understand someone's wedding being the center of the universe to them, just not to everyone around them. Like, I wouldn't have ever expected my bridesmaids or family to change their plans or miss work for something related to my own wedding. I don't know, maybe I'm not being clear.

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Ok, It may be me, but I sense a story here. What happened??? I am so curious!

I agree with you Rachel....it's one day in a multitude of days and I totally know that things happen. Yea...I had a wedding....big whoop. I would have been just as happy with 50 people in a restaurant somewhere.....

I happen to think that my wedding went off pretty well but I also know that it was nothing compared to some of the other girls' weddings on here. I would have changed so much-but it's over and done with.

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Posted by ckgmwedding

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Posted by prncssrachel

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Posted by diamondgrlie

I am not flaming you but I think getting married makes everything else seem unimportant. Not more important than life or death situations of course but it became more important than my job for a while and my weekend plans had to be altered MANY times becuase of wedding related things. My immediate family and close friends also made me feel extra special.

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Again, this is fine. If it's within the confines of your OWN life, then I can understand. What I CAN'T understand is if you expected your wedding to be more important than OTHER PEOPLE'S jobs (which I am SURE you did not!). I completely understand someone's wedding being the center of the universe to them, just not to everyone around them. Like, I wouldn't have ever expected my bridesmaids or family to change their plans or miss work for something related to my own wedding. I don't know, maybe I'm not being clear.

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Ok, It may be me, but I sense a story here. What happened??? I am so curious!

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Yeah me too!

I also want to add that I think some people have to make drama out of nothing. If they REALLY had things to stress/be upset about they wouldn't know what to do with themselves!

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Posted by lanabean

I have to say I totally agree. Yes, I loved our wedding but I know some girls have these huge, mega bucks weddings. I never talked about our wedding to anyone who didn't actually ask how it was going, and even then, I kept it brief. I actually boycotted this site for a while during my planning b/c hearing everything people talked about and stressed over made me very nervous. And is it just me, or do you sometimes wonder if some girls are more excited about the wedding than marrying the actual guy? And I hate to break it to em...wedding's over in 5 mintues; the marriage is for life! (or intended to be!)

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Everything she said!
So glad to see this thread.
As I was planning and even to this day I still tell my DH that the only people who really care about the wedding are us and our parents....everyone else just wants to show up and have a good time. They don't even think about it until right before it happens.

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Posted by lanabean

I have to say I totally agree. Yes, I loved our wedding but I know some girls have these huge, mega bucks weddings. I never talked about our wedding to anyone who didn't actually ask how it was going, and even then, I kept it brief. I actually boycotted this site for a while during my planning b/c hearing everything people talked about and stressed over made me very nervous. And is it just me, or do you sometimes wonder if some girls are more excited about the wedding than marrying the actual guy? And I hate to break it to em...wedding's over in 5 mintues; the marriage is for life! (or intended to be!)

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I so agree! And I also 'boycotted' this site...I actually posted a LOT more after the wedding because hearing people b!tch about how 'unfair' it is that their mom wasn't getting make-up done really got to me. I mean, a good friend of mine lost her mom...she would give anything to have her at her wedding - who cares about how people look?

And I also agree with the comment about girls liking drama and making it out of nothing...hmmmm, drama is not a BM that refuses to dye her shoes...how about a BM that drops out of your wedding the morning of because your mom couldn't finish her dress? How about a groom shopping at Saks for a BCBG BM's dress and hoping it matches the other girls? Is that drama? Because I survived and it was PERFECT! And the marriage IS forever - more people should focus on that!

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I so agree! And I also 'boycotted' this site...I actually posted a LOT more after the wedding because hearing people b!tch about how 'unfair' it is that their mom wasn't getting make-up done really got to me. I mean, a good friend of mine lost her mom...she would give anything to have her at her wedding - who cares about how people look?

And I also agree with the comment about girls liking drama and making it out of nothing...hmmmm, drama is not a BM that refuses to dye her shoes...how about a BM that drops out of your wedding the morning of because your mom couldn't finish her dress? How about a groom shopping at Saks for a BCBG BM's dress and hoping it matches the other girls? Is that drama? Because I survived and it was PERFECT! And the marriage IS forever - more people should focus on that!

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AMEN!

amen again!

and people thought (some people) that it was bad I let my girls pick their gowns. please. my sister (MOH) has a disability and walks with a cane. i did everything i could to make the wedding stuff easier and accessable for her. letting her pick a gown she felt good in (she has a huge scar on her back, along her spine) was THE most important thing to me. Only looked at halls with little to no steps...got married right on the floor and not on the altar so we could be standing near her, since so many MOH and Best Men are usually up there with the bride and groom and i didn't want her to worry about stairs. At the reception I didn't do that traditional 'bridge' thing b/c I knew she couldn't walk through it. I feel like people like me and brides or grooms with deceased parents had REAL issues to contend with. Not some of the b*tchy crap I hear about. And at the end of the day, which turned out beautifully, my father said to me through tears, 'You took people, your family, into consideration today and it means the world to mom and me.'

Sooo true, everyone! It's really nice to see a post like this on here when there are so many silly things/drama out there!