I need opinions (with poll!)

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Posted by MikeandJess

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Posted by RadiantBride

Ok dont kill me for saying this but since the car was a gift from your parents to you both, meaning that neither of you paid for it. I think it would be best to come up with a compromise that does not involve the courts. I don't know what your relationship is with your sister but bringing something to small claims court will definitely put a hinder on it. If she wants to stay with the car, is there a way that she can give you money for the down payment for your new car? If she needs the car to get to work just bc you want to get a new one she shouldn't have to add the extra expense to her side - the same reason that you shouldnt have to suffer through having a car that you dont want. I am sure that the gift of the car from your parents was to bring you both closer not tear you apart. As far as the money that should be split should be any maintenance/ of the car that you both have paid for over the years, do the sum of the expenses and divide by two and that is what you put in. Then when she's ready to sell she can give you the difference.

Sorry for being devil's advocate its JMO.

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I actually agree with you and would love to settle this outside of court but she's not answering my phone calls or e-mails and the cars I'm looking at have deals that expire soon. She can't keep dragging her feet on this, it's not fair to me. I know we didn't pay for it but I can't get a new car without the money from my old one. She doesn't have to pay me right now if she doesn't want to because the other alternative is to sell it or trade it in and she'll get half of that. I think that's a fair option.

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Yeah I agree with you. It just s u c k s majorly that she isnt cooperating bc you really have no idea where things stand. Can you stop by her house. Or park the car by you so that she has no choice but to see you?

I dont think it is worth starting a family feud over.

Do you mind me asking how much the car is worth right now?

I am just thinking hypothetically here. If I was choosing to go out and get my own car, because I had the $$, I wouldnt expect my sister to give up her free car. It would be mean to make her sell it and come out of pocket something new. I am close with my sisters and just wouldnt do it. If she ever decides to sell it (and maybe she wont) then I would hope she would give me half...but she may not even do that.

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Posted by RadiantBride

Yeah I agree with you. It just s u c k s majorly that she isnt cooperating bc you really have no idea where things stand. Can you stop by her house. Or park the car by you so that she has no choice but to see you?

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yea I was thinking of going the stalker route. That's my next step

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Posted by MikeandJess

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Posted by EsquireBride

Hmm interesting. Technically you and your sister don't own the car, so technically neither you or you sister could sell it, it would have to be your mom to sell it. The title to the car is in her name and if you try to sell a car to which you don't have title then no reasonable person should ever hand you money...

You need to get your mom involved. She may want to stay out of it, but I don't think she can given the facts.

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Actually my mother said she'd come to court with me and confirm that the car was gifted to the both of us. I've already spoken to her about that.

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But lets say you went to trade the car in to the dealer or tried to sell it -- you couldn't do it without your mom actually being the one doing the trading or selling.

I would do everything you can to stay out of the courts. It will just kill your relationship with your sister and possibly between your sister and your mom. Try to keep this entirely a family matter and as civil as possible. Try backing off your sister for a week or two, without calling or emailing etc. and then try again when she has cooled down. Is there another relative/joint friend that can intervene on your behalf?

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Posted by Jenn04

I dont think it is worth starting a family feud over.

Do you mind me asking how much the car is worth right now?

I am just thinking hypothetically here. If I was choosing to go out and get my own car, because I had the $$, I wouldnt expect my sister to give up her free car. It would be mean to make her sell it and come out of pocket something new. I am close with my sisters and just wouldnt do it. If she ever decides to sell it (and maybe she wont) then I would hope she would give me half...but she may not even do that.

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It's worth about $3500 based on the kelly blue book value. If we trade it in it'd be worth much less. I can't just let her have the car, as much as I'd love to not fight over this, I'll need the money for a downpayment on my new car.

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Posted by EsquireBride

But lets say you went to trade the car in to the dealer or tried to sell it -- you couldn't do it without your mom actually being the one doing the trading or selling.

I would do everything you can to stay out of the courts. It will just kill your relationship with your sister and possibly between your sister and your mom. Try to keep this entirely a family matter and as civil as possible. Try backing off your sister for a week or two, without calling or emailing etc. and then try again when she has cooled down. Is there another relative/joint friend that can intervene on your behalf?

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I understand your point but I don't think going to court will tear us apart. I'd only be doing it because she thinks she's right, and I think I'm right and a judge can give us an unbiased opinion on the fairest option for both of us. I wouldn't do it to be malicious, I'd do it so I'm not screwing her by asking for too much money and she's not screwing me by keeping something that was gifted to both of us.

As far as the car being in my mom's name, assuming my sister and I can come to an agreement on whatever we'd be doing with the car, my mom would go along with trading or selling.

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Posted by MikeandJess

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Posted by Jenn04

I dont think it is worth starting a family feud over.

Do you mind me asking how much the car is worth right now?

I am just thinking hypothetically here. If I was choosing to go out and get my own car, because I had the $$, I wouldnt expect my sister to give up her free car. It would be mean to make her sell it and come out of pocket something new. I am close with my sisters and just wouldnt do it. If she ever decides to sell it (and maybe she wont) then I would hope she would give me half...but she may not even do that.

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It's worth about $3500 based on the kelly blue book value. If we trade it in it'd be worth much less. I can't just let her have the car, as much as I'd love to not fight over this, I'll need the money for a downpayment on my new car.

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Is she older or younger?

I think you need to talk to her in person and tell her that you want to get a new car because that one is not safe anymore and you would like to sell the old car and use the $$ For the down payment. If she doesnt want to sell it then tell her she is prohibitting you from getting a new car and that is upsetting. I am not sure what more you can do and I would not go to court.

I answered that you are right BUT I just read it was gifted to you guys from your parents.

I'd just give her the car. It's the right thing to do.

eta: If you can't afford the downpayment, then don't buy the new car. If I was in your sister's shoes - I'd be upset if my sis was doing what you're doing. How is that fair? Let's say you get two grand for the car - she has to come up with $1K to buy you out? OR - you trade it in and give her the $1K - will she be able to afford a new car?

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Posted by Jenn04


Is she older or younger?

I think you need to talk to her in person and tell her that you want to get a new car because that one is not safe anymore and you would like to sell the old car and use the $$ For the down payment. If she doesnt want to sell it then tell her she is prohibitting you from getting a new car and that is upsetting. I am not sure what more you can do and I would not go to court.

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We're the same age. You're right I do have to find a way to speak to her in person. Thanks Jenn

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Posted by Jenn04

How often does she use the car? Where is it kept?

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Hardly ever. It's kept at my house. We're only about 5 minutes away from each other anyway and she still lives with my parents so if she needs a car she just uses theirs.

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Posted by MikeandJess

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Posted by Jenn04


Is she older or younger?

I think you need to talk to her in person and tell her that you want to get a new car because that one is not safe anymore and you would like to sell the old car and use the $$ For the down payment. If she doesnt want to sell it then tell her she is prohibitting you from getting a new car and that is upsetting. I am not sure what more you can do and I would not go to court.

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We're the same age. You're right I do have to find a way to speak to her in person. Thanks Jenn

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I agree. Seeing that you need the money for a downpayment is different. I think she needs to understand it. Invite her over for dinner or something or tell her to meet up for drinks somewhere or go shopping.

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Posted by Jenn04

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Posted by MikeandJess


It's worth about $3500 based on the kelly blue book value. If we trade it in it'd be worth much less. I can't just let her have the car, as much as I'd love to not fight over this, I'll need the money for a downpayment on my new car.

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Is she older or younger?

I think you need to talk to her in person and tell her that you want to get a new car because that one is not safe anymore and you would like to sell the old car and use the $$ For the down payment. If she doesnt want to sell it then tell her she is prohibitting you from getting a new car and that is upsetting. I am not sure what more you can do and I would not go to court.

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ITA... i would talk to her in person, w/o fighting. explain the situation so she really understands..u need the buyout in order to get a new car, and ur both making out better in the long run. she can give u half of what it's worth, and keep it to sell or trade in the future. this way you BOTH make out with a decent/equal end of the deal. there's not much more u can do than this...i hope she comes around!

I think that your sister should give you half of the fair market value of the car.. but if your sister is not going to or does not want to, what can you do about it? its 1750, its quite a bit of money, but do you really want to mess up your relationship with your sister over this? (is this your twin?)

you know her character flaw, and you don't want to alienate yourself from your sister.. your mom's handsoff on this matter and it would really put a crack in the family dynamics and you don't want people to say that you wanted 1750 from her and you were being cheap and that's all you cared about.. its very tricky, just don't burn the relationship with your sister..

sorry its long.. we have a few el cheapos in our family too, and i have crossed this bridge before..

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Posted by TommysWife08

hmmm... i'd say that if YOU are ready to buy a car of your own but your sister wants to keep the car you have now, she should buy you out

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totally agree. I do believe that she should give you half the $ you would get if you were to sell it. But I think the best thing is for you guys to sell it and split the money, this way you buy your own car and she buys her own car. I am someone who does not believe in sharing a car. I wouldn't be able to get along with my sibling if we had to share a car.

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Posted by MikeandJess

I understand your point but I don't think going to court will tear us apart. I'd only be doing it because she thinks she's right, and I think I'm right and a judge can give us an unbiased opinion on the fairest option for both of us. I wouldn't do it to be malicious, I'd do it so I'm not screwing her by asking for too much money and she's not screwing me by keeping something that was gifted to both of us.

As far as the car being in my mom's name, assuming my sister and I can come to an agreement on whatever we'd be doing with the car, my mom would go along with trading or selling.

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You might think that going to court is fair, which it is, but your sister will not see it that way. In her mind, she is being told by you that (i) you are going to take away her car and give her some money, which is probably not enough for her to buy a car but is enough for a downpayment on a car that you won't be sharing with her, (ii) you are going to let her keep the car but she has to pay you $$$, or (iii) if she doesn't like the first two options, you are doing to drag her to court. I know you are not being malicious, but given that she hasn't spoken to you in a week she would probably react very negatively to being taken to court.

Ok, here is a solution --

Can you find your downpayment money elsewhere? Then offer to your sister that she should still buy you out BUT she can pay you the money over a period of time (like if you decide that she is going to buy you out for $1000 but maybe she doesn't have the money for it all at once right now, offer to let her give you $100 month until she is paid off). This only works if you can find another place to get the downpayment money, but will probably really help your sister out AND get you the buy-out money that you want.

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Posted by LuvMyAlfonse

I answered that you are right BUT I just read it was gifted to you guys from your parents.

I'd just give her the car. It's the right thing to do.

eta: If you can't afford the downpayment, then don't buy the new car. If I was in your sister's shoes - I'd be upset if my sis was doing what you're doing. How is that fair? Let's say you get two grand for the car - she has to come up with $1K to buy you out? OR - you trade it in and give her the $1K - will she be able to afford a new car?

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It's not that she CAN'T afford a new car, it's that she doesn't want one and doesn't see the point of getting one since she hardly uses the car right now. She actually makes more than double what I make and still lives at home. I do understand your point but I think you're all misinterpreting that I'm doing this to some poor person who can't afford a car, or afford to pay me out, but she can. I actually haven't done anything yet, I sent her e-mails and phone messages telling her we need to talk about what we're doing with the car. I'm open to her suggestions but I can't drive around in what we have now, it's not safe and no I can't afford the downpayment for a new car, or a used car but I definitely need something that is safer than what I have now and since the car is half mine I think it's only fair that I should be using half the money of the car I have now, despite whether it was a gift or not, it was a gift to two people.

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Posted by Mrs. Bernabe

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Posted by TommysWife08

hmmm... i'd say that if YOU are ready to buy a car of your own but your sister wants to keep the car you have now, she should buy you out

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totally agree. I do believe that she should give you half the $ you would get if you were to sell it. But I think the best thing is for you guys to sell it and split the money, this way you buy your own car and she buys her own car. I am someone who does not believe in sharing a car. I wouldn't be able to get along with my sibling if we had to share a car.

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Yea we've gotten in many a fight over the car because she had a boyfriend that lives in albany for quite a few years, it hasn't been easy but we worked it out and now that the car isn't safe I really have no other choice. Thanks for your opinion, I'd love to sell it and split the money.

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Posted by EsquireBride

Ok, here is a solution --

Can you find your downpayment money elsewhere? Then offer to your sister that she should still buy you out BUT she can pay you the money over a period of time (like if you decide that she is going to buy you out for $1000 but maybe she doesn't have the money for it all at once right now, offer to let her give you $100 month until she is paid off). This only works if you can find another place to get the downpayment money, but will probably really help your sister out AND get you the buy-out money that you want.

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I'll mention that to her, that could work but I think to her it's about the money in general, not coming up with it.