I know a lot of you probably think I am crazy but I was wondering if there was anyone else out there that feels like I do. I really want to stop working and be at home. Our house needs so much work and both of our parents are older and could really use some help. I have worked so hard to get ahead in the business world but I really want a break. I want to be able to cook great dinners and really clean the house and garden the lawn. I want to be able to spend time with my inlaws and help them with stuff they can no longer do. I want to be able to spend more time with my dad and take him to the places he can't go to anymore because he doesn't drive. Am I the only one?
JimmysBride
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Re: I think I really want to be a traditional wife!
Sounds like you want to do something I think EVERYONE wants to do -- retire YOUNG!!
nov04LIbride
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Re: I think I really want to be a traditional wife!
I really understand being a SAHM, but I wouldn't stay at home just to keep house and tend to the parents before having children...I think the days of a 'housewife' are gone, though if you can and you want to, by all means...Of course my house would be 10x cleaner if I didn't work, and I could cook gourmet dinners, but I work, and that is a whole other dimension of my life...Honestly I can't imagine DH coming home from work every day and asking what I did, and having the answer be I gardened, cleaned the bathroom, took the parents shopping...
ETA: If you are asking if we all like our jobs and enjoy working, I think the answer is no.
Kathy116
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Re: I think I really want to be a traditional wife!
Go for it! More and more women are making this move back to the home.
wc0143
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Posted by nov04LIbride
I really understand being a SAHM, but I wouldn't stay at home just to keep house and tend to the parents before having children...I think the days of a 'housewife' are gone, though if you can and you want to, by all means...Of course my house would be 10x cleaner if I didn't work, and I could cook gourmet dinners, but I work, and that is a whole other dimension of my life...Honestly I can't imagine DH coming home from work every day and asking what I did, and having the answer be I gardened, cleaned the bathroom, took the parents shopping...
FYI ... if you spend all day on LIW, you never really get to all the cleaning that needs to be done. A load of laundry here & there and dinner sure ...
nov04LIbride
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Re: I think I really want to be a traditional wife!
Posted by wc0143
Posted by nov04LIbride
I really understand being a SAHM, but I wouldn't stay at home just to keep house and tend to the parents before having children...I think the days of a 'housewife' are gone, though if you can and you want to, by all means...Of course my house would be 10x cleaner if I didn't work, and I could cook gourmet dinners, but I work, and that is a whole other dimension of my life...Honestly I can't imagine DH coming home from work every day and asking what I did, and having the answer be I gardened, cleaned the bathroom, took the parents shopping...
FYI ... if you spend all day on LIW, you never really get to all the cleaning that needs to be done. A load of laundry here & there and dinner sure ...
So true...At least I bring home the bacon now while being on LIW all day! I might feel differently if we had the $ for me to opt for a lesser-paying job or no job...But we couldn't cover the mortgage and bills without my salary...
shamrock12472
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Re: I think I really want to be a traditional wife!
Oh, I don't know. It is just that working 50+ hours a week and doing everyday responsiblities eats up all my time. I feel so guilty that I can't help our elderly parents more and I don't cook enough. It is my guilt, by all means because Dh doesn't complain. This is what I get for growing up in a very traditional, german household.
nov04LIbride
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Re: I think I really want to be a traditional wife!
Posted by shamrock12472
Oh, I don't know. It is just that working 50+ hours a week and doing everyday responsiblities eats up all my time. I feel so guilty that I can't help our elderly parents more and I don't cook enough. It is my guilt, by all means because Dh doesn't complain. This is what I get for growing up in a very traditional, german household.
I hear that. We get home around 7, 7:30 during the week, so the weekends are consumed by cleaning, grocery shopping, laundry, visiting parents... There is no time for much fun anymore.
tourist
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Re: I think I really want to be a traditional wife!
I think the same thing a lot. I have a job, not a career, & it , alogn with the commmute, takes up so muchtime, that I am so uselless at home, I feel liek a barely contribute anything.
I would love to be more involved in my community & my family. We can't afford for me to do that now, but I am seriously considering looking for something closer to home & that I can leave when I am supposed to.
swags1016
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Re: I think I really want to be a traditional wife!
Posted by shamrock12472
I know a lot of you probably think I am crazy but I was wondering if there was anyone else out there that feels like I do. I really want to stop working and be at home. Our house needs so much work and both of our parents are older and could really use some help. I have worked so hard to get ahead in the business world but I really want a break. I want to be able to cook great dinners and really clean the house and garden the lawn. I want to be able to spend time with my inlaws and help them with stuff they can no longer do. I want to be able to spend more time with my dad and take him to the places he can't go to anymore because he doesn't drive. Am I the only one?
Honestly I agree with you. I LOVE my job but I now love my DH and our house more and would much rather spend the time taking care of both. I hate leaving to go to work when he is home and now with our little one coming I am feeling it even more!!!! But economically there will never be a way for us tohave this other than to win the lottery. But I do feel like you do.
070502
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Re: I think I really want to be a traditional wife!
I'm a housewife.
We have a nice brand new home on over an acre, a new F250 and Escape, both our degrees are paid off and are living a very nice life on my husband's small military salary and had all of that by time we were 24.
I would rather be a housewife and be around him as much as I can when he is not deployed then work 40 hours for real low pay. (we are in Florida) We have an immaculate house with nice things, I am able to cook great meals every night, be available to help him and support him at the base if I need to go there during the day, we entertain alot also and it is great to be able to just go on vactaions when I want and not have to ask for time off..
And then I just volunteer or work temp jobs when he is deployed.
But at the same time, he has great job security so I can do this and not worry about him losing his job, benefits... etc.
I don't consider it a waste at all, especially since my salary would most likely be under 10,000 a year here. We both want me to be home with our children too since he won't always be around and we expecting right now.
Don't listen to what other people think, unless they have done it? If they haven't then they have no idea.
I think it is a gift to be able to be home and I always have my Degree to fall back on if we need or if I get bored. Also, I'm in the panhandle and the job market isn't that great down here if I had more opportunities I might take them but right now volunteering and being a housewife has been great!
Our lifestyle has just taught us what is really important to us. Not everyone understands it.
But I believe that since alot of wives drive now and most families have two cars that being a housewife doesn't mean you are just stuck at home all day like it did 15 plus years ago.
People told us that getting married at 23 was a waste.. etc. We are now 25 and have been really blessed with what we have been able to obtain on our own. We are happy, healthy and that is all that should matter. Do what is best for you two not what is best or what others think is right but I really enjoy being their for my family at a moments notice.
I have worked during our marriage and I had a great job prior to it but nothing compares. But alas my husband's job is far from the traditional 9-5. In some cases while he is here he is home during the day with me to do things and that is a ton more important to me then working during the times he at home.
Anniegrl
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Re: I think I really want to be a traditional wife!
Boy would I LOVE to be a SAHM. I know there are aspects of it that I would come to loathe, but I really don't like going to work. I have an awesome job, make really good money, but I'm just not cut out for the corporate world. I'm a very motherly-type person and I love doing 'girly' things. I'm almost embarrassed to admit that! I actually LIKE keeping the house orderly, cooking, grocery shopping, tending to things. It's easy for me. My current job isn't. And when you're a SAHM, you're your own boss; you do things the way YOU want them done.
Anyway, DH ultimately wants me to be a SAHM, but that won't happen for a while. We make almost the same amount of money, so until he can double his salary, it's off to work I go....
Janice
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Re: I think I really want to be a traditional wife!
I think it is a very admirable idea..one that I am def all for. Many times I feel like there just isn't enough time in a day. My marriage comes first to me, I don't want to walk in from work late, cook and do laundry, get ready for tomorrows work day, and still have no time with DH. I am going to be a SAHM in florida like the previous poster is. I will drive a used car, live in a smaller home, and give all my attention to my family. That is how I want to spend my life.
casey31
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Re: I think I really want to be a traditional wife!
If you can afford to stay home then do it! I would if I could too. For me personally, there is no job that will be as rewarding as my family and home. Some people are lucky and find jobs that they really love- i don't think i ever will. Therefore, I will work for money (until we win the lottery! )
StepherG
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Re: I think I really want to be a traditional wife!
My DH wants to be a SAHM too! So do I! Unfortunately that will never happen unless we win lotto!
kim
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070502 - i am so jealous!!!
CubanBride
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Re: I think I really want to be a traditional wife!
I could never be a housewife, or sahm. I couldn't see being in the house all day. It would drive me crazy. We both like to do things that cost money and even though, right now, I could quit my job and live off his salary, I never would. I would feel like a moocher and I would hate it.
MrsTC
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Posted by kim
070502 - i am so jealous!!!
me too!!!!
nsgraham
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Re: I think I really want to be a traditional wife!
If I had a career that I loved, I could never be a SAHM, actually. But I'm lucky in that I only have a job, not a career, and that the career I'm working for (playwright/screenwriter) REQUIRES me to be at home most days. Of course, I would be working most of the time, so I still wouldn't really be a SAHM. I'd be a mom who had a home office. And my FH *is* a writer, so we would both be home!
But I don't think the 'hating work' thing is just a female idea. I think a lot of men in jobs they don't like would also prefer staying home, but that never enters anyone's heads. And guys are socialized to be the 'breadwinners.' But wanting to spend time with family and/or doing something meaningful and not in some stupid job is an across the board thing.
In the middle ages and right up to the 20th century, there was no thing as a SAHM. If you were a woman, you had TONS of work to do at home, and being a mother was not your primarly obligation. You worked your A** off, and if you didn't no one could eat, or had clothes, or anything. It wasn't just cleaning the house, it was growing everything (or going to market), making everything from scratch, killing animals for food, doing the wash with nothing but a tub of water and a washboard. You were also your husband's secretary, keeping records and the like. The amount of physical work, multitasking and administration (depending on your household) you did equalled anything your husband did. You were up at dawn working. So the whole SAHM thing is a relatively recent idea - before this, both spouses worked, just in different realms. So I guess you don't want to really be 'traditional' wife!
nylibride
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Re: I think I really want to be a traditional wife!
Although, I'm guessing like most people, I have days where I would love to just not go to work, I have no idea what I would do after my first week at home by myself (as a stay at home wife, not a stay at home mom, that's a whole 'nother ballgame). I generally like what I do for my career and it gives me purpose and motivation. I love my fh, but I just think I would feel isolated at home by myself.
But, h*ll, if you want to and can do it, have fun. Hope it works out for you.
