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I thought God was everywhere ? So he wasnt at Flowerfield that day ?

Original post by anna

Ok. So we went to our church today for a baptismal interview. John Anthony is being baptized next month. One of the things the priest brought up was where we were married. We were married on the grounds at Flowerfield. by a Catholic priest, who told us he is no longer 'practicing' as a priest and does weddings outside the church. (we were referred to him by a close friend who used him also and loved him - and he did a great job for us too !!)

Well the priest mentioned that our marriage is not recognized by the Catholic church (Which I kinda already knew) and he suggested we think about getting married at the church, maybe around our anniversary or something....
He said it in a nice way, he was a really nice priest, funny and friendly...
But this got me thinking....First thing John said in the car was 'One thing I always said was that I would only get married ONCE in my lifetime ! ' LOL

Part of me wants to do this. Just go to the church on our anniversary, call it official under God, and make it our little official thing, recognized by the church... and part of me feels in my heart that I was married on that day, and that was a special day...Im not sure that it would be as special to redo it (God forgive me!) renewing your vows is something different and very special, but to get married again...confusing

What would you do ? Opinions.... just to see what everyone thinks about this.......
anna Posted:

Re: I thought God was everywhere ? So he wasnt at Flowerfield that day ?


Liz- I dont think this will come up again in the future. I hope not. But I really doubt it. and it has no affect on the baptism. We are set to baptize him period. He wasnt pressuring me or anything. He just 'mentioned it' and said 'you might wanna give that some thought, ok?' and then he mentioned ANOTHER marriage certificate, and then he goes, well then again, (jokingly) maybe you DONT Want to do it on your anniversary, so this way you'll have TWO anniversaries to celebrate !! That just doesnt sit well with me. Sorry Father !

Michelle - I was laughing at your mention of money. Yep its a shame, money talks. I cannot ever and will never understand the purpose of Catholic/private school. I adore all my friends, and no offense to any of you that have gone to Catholic or private school ! (I love you too Cira ) But I can name at least a dozen friends/people from my old neighborhood that went to Catholic school, that either never came to mass on Sundays, didnt make much of themselves career-wise, or just were no better than the next person. My mom always had friends that sent their kids to private school, because they thought they would become great people, intelligent members of society with a great career. With 4 kids, private school was out of the question, and i'm glad it worked out that way. Because its not about what school you go to, or how much money you spend. Its up to the individual and how much they take to their studies, how ambitious and determined one is to succeed in life...
Sorry, another tangent !

Thats not in ANY WAY meant to put down anyone that went to private school (DH did all his life ! and it made him a wonderful person ! ) but its just the fact that they try to make you believe that if you spend the money, THEN you will get what you want in life, what is better, what is desired...
not true

OK, where was I ?
Cira, thanks for posting that. It was refreshing and comforting to read. IT really did feel special in a garden/outdoor setting. I love mother nature and the beauty of our outdoor surroundings...It was absolutely a special day. that I just cant imagine redoing to satisfy a priest.
I think it has no relevance to the success or value of a marriage.

Lisa, I really am 99.9% sure that Im not redoing it. Maybe on one milestone anniversary, I would just renew our vows as a symbol of our love. Just a short thing at Mass. but I am really content with my marriage as it is !
God has even blessed us with a beautiful baby boy!

Lisa how cute that your husband was an altar boy ! thats so nice ! :)


littlecat Posted:

Re: I thought God was everywhere ? So he wasnt at Flowerfield that day ?

THEY HAVE SOME NERVE SAYING ANYTHING TO ANYBODY - THEY ONLY WANT YOUR MONEY - WATCH, YOU WILL HAVE TO MAKE A DONATION IN THE AMOUNT OF $$$. IF IT IS A DONATION, WHY IS IT A SPECIFIC AMOUNT. SECOND, THEY HAVE NO RIGHT TO SAY ANYTHING, THE CHURCH HASN'T BEEN SO HOLY LATELY!!! It is up to you. They should do it and stop making a stink, they should be happy that people still want to baptize their children at the church.

GOOD LUCK!!
Jenn P Posted:

Re: I thought God was everywhere ? So he wasnt at Flowerfield that day ?

Anna, I'm so glad you won't succomb to the pressure. If it weren't for my better half's former career as an altar boy it would have been the beach for us.

Hugs to you and your family Put this behind you and enjoy your beautiful christening.
michele31 Posted:

Re: I thought God was everywhere ? So he wasnt at Flowerfield that day ?

I think this is a very personal decision. My brother and his girl friend never got married but their child was baptized without any problems. You and your husband are the only people who need to be happy with how and where you were married.

dkga1026 Posted:

Re: I thought God was everywhere ? So he wasnt at Flowerfield that day ?

I agree with Michelle. This is a very personal decision and depends entirely on your own view of marriage - do you see it as a religious union or not. If you think it is a religious union, then it makes sense to follow the rules of your church. If not, then it won't make much a difference whether you are married in a park or on church grounds.

anna Posted:

Re: I thought God was everywhere ? So he wasnt at Flowerfield that day ?

dkga - I do see it as a very religious union. But I dont necessarily feel that I had to be married in church for my marriage to be blessed by God.
balilove Posted:

Re: I thought God was everywhere ? So he wasnt at Flowerfield that day ?

Anna, I just read this post and I have to say it bothers me for so many reasons. I was raised Roman Catholic my FH is lutheran. We are both Catholic. I can not begin to tell you the problems the Diocese was giving me. I am going to be married by a Catholic Bishop, not Roman Catholic. I fretted over it for awhile and then laid it to rest when this was posed to me. 'Are you Catholic'--yes. 'Do you want a religious ceremony'--yes. 'Are you both Catholic'--yes. What I'm trying to point out here, is that you were married by a priest and it is obvious to me that the priest at the baptism was Roman Catholic...you are still catholic and still married by a priest. Don't let the guilt of a closed minded church make you feel like you are an outcast or something. The RC Church needs some serious reform---the problems with the priests speak for themselves and on top of it all the recent exposure of the diocese on LI, that is money hungry.
Being Catholic is about believing in God and Christ, it is not about where you got married and by what priest. I believe that God looks upon you with loving eyes knowing that you feel bad but, smiles knowing that he is truly in your heart and life.
avesur Posted:

Re: I thought God was everywhere ? So he wasnt at Flowerfield that day ?

I think that you were already married and blessed. I grew up going to catholic schools in my country, and the nuns were very liberal there ... they always said: God is every where, and what we called 'church' is only the building where we meet in his name, but each one of us is temple of God.

So that issue, that only a marriage is only valid if it is celebrated in that sort of 'building' it is not true!!! It makes me sad that this second priest is giving you such a hard time, because he is not right! You were married but a priest, it doesn't matter if he is retired, because he did so in the name of God!

good luck!

Elena
JennRenee Posted:

Re: I thought God was everywhere ? So he wasnt at Flowerfield that day ?

Elena ~ Where did you grow up? I think I'd love living there. What a great attitude toward religion!

Claud2001 Posted:

Re: I thought God was everywhere ? So he wasnt at Flowerfield that day ?

It is such a shame that the church is so stuck in the dark ages on these issues!

I remember back last summer when we were planning for Paul's christening, we had to meet with a deacon at the same church where we were married just one year before. My DH is not Catholic, and he was never baptized. This was not a problem to the priest that married us in 2001, but it was for the deacon who was 'interviewing' us for the baby's christening. He kept pressuring DH for an answer - 'What religion are you, are you Protestant or Catholic?' DH was like, 'Neither!' And the deacon had the NERVE to say, 'Well, maybe we can convert you then.' Can you imagine?!?

And the worst - whenever we receive mail from the church now, they address the envelope to Mr. & Mrs. Claudine Ourlastname. Isn't that just so disrespectful to my hubby - just b/c he is not Catholic? He was married in THAT church!
anna Posted:

Re: I thought God was everywhere ? So he wasnt at Flowerfield that day ?

OMG Claudine ! That is sooo rude about how they address the envelope. You should call the rectory and 'correct the problem'

and its funny how they dont forget that 'envelope' when giving you the paperwork for the baptism.

At my brothers wedding, the church told them that if they were late (Bride and Groom) to their ceremony, that they would NOT get back their $50 deposit. Supposedly this incentive works to deter tardiness, but isnt that strange !!??? (yes everything was on time, but of course they felt BAD asking a church for 'money back' !

Business and religious faith shouldnt be so closely combined. IT really ruins it.

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