If it's not one thing it's your mother.

What are those things your mom does that only she could get away with. If anyone else did it they would receive a full on mouth assault.

- My mom calls me every Friday in Lent at 9:15am to ask me what I had for lunch. When i point out the time she acts like she has been up for hours and reminds me no meat on Friday.

-Buys me clothes that are too small on purpose and tells me in a few weeks they will fit aka get your fat asss to the gym.

- When she calls me at work and I tell her I am busy she keeps talking.

my mom is not what you would call---'reserved'

--flash me with her boobs when my dad and DH's backs are turned

--openly question me about my DH's 'dicky' and our sex life

--look at me....tell me how fantastic i might look in a pretty outfit....and follow it with 'but you would look AMAZING if you were 10 lbs. less'

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Posted by MJDoc12

--openly question me about my DH's 'dicky' and our sex life

'

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i would be mortified!!!

my mom likes to poke at my love handles and say 'how come it's so squishy?'

Whenever I come over on the weekend, she lifts up her glasses and squints her eyes, makes me turn around and says, 'Woo is yoru a$$ getting bigger'

She farts everywhere

Her and my step-dad also randomly ask if Ive had sex that day....I always throw up in my mouth a little.

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Posted by MJDoc12

my mom is not what you would call---'reserved'

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surprise surprise....!

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Posted by carolinep24

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Posted by MJDoc12

my mom is not what you would call---'reserved'

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surprise surprise....!

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My mom is really reserved and proper. She may be from 1920. Go figure.

My mom will actually GASP and say 'OMG WAIT. . .WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOUR. . .FACE?!' if i have the tiniest pimple - not even trying to be funny. Then she tells me I have to get rid of it, like I was going to KEEP it.

Tells me i must be happy because I am getting heavier but then if i try to limit my portions she claims i need to eat more bc i am sooo skinny.

She will randomly tuck my thong in if its sticking out like i am 5 years old

She will pull the whole 'Oh, are you wearing THAT?'

My mom is far from reserved also

- when she calls she asks DH what he is wearing

- when I was 16 she got so hammered at a friends christmas party she made out with Santa ( the hosts friend)

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Posted by ant n tilde

My mom will actually GASP and say 'OMG WAIT. . .WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOUR. . .FACE?!' if i have the tiniest pimple - not even trying to be funny. Then she tells me I have to get rid of it, like I was going to KEEP it.

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My mom does the opposite I will have a huge zit and mom will say where where I can't see anything where is it? You don't have to pretend my face looks good today. Your mom and my mom should meet they could maybe come to some sort of pimple pointing out compromise.

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Posted by MeNBobs

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Posted by ant n tilde

My mom will actually GASP and say 'OMG WAIT. . .WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOUR. . .FACE?!' if i have the tiniest pimple - not even trying to be funny. Then she tells me I have to get rid of it, like I was going to KEEP it.

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My mom does the opposite I will have a huge zit and mom will say where where I can't see anything where is it? You don't have to pretend my face looks good today. Your mom and my mom should meet they could maybe come to some sort of pimple pointing out compromise.

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THAT would be great!

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Posted by ant n tilde

My mom will actually GASP and say 'OMG WAIT. . .WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOUR. . .FACE?!' if i have the tiniest pimple - not even trying to be funny. Then she tells me I have to get rid of it, like I was going to KEEP it.

Tells me i must be happy because I am getting heavier but then if i try to limit my portions she claims i need to eat more bc i am sooo skinny.

She will randomly tuck my thong in if its sticking out like i am 5 years old

She will pull the whole 'Oh, are you wearing THAT?'

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My mom liks to garb my parts. Yes i said parts. She as this thing with randomly smothering my brother and I with kisses and then will grab my @ss. my boobs whatever and give a squeeze. She and my aunts all do it to the 'kids' meanign me, my brother and my cousins from thsoe aunts. Their excuse? 'Its ours!' Um NO woman. Its bordering on JUST WRONG and they cut the umbilical cord 27 years ago!

She will ask ym advice on something then completely ignore it and complain when the plan she decided to take instead, backfires on her.

She blames me for EVERYTHING. if my brother crashes the car in NY its MY fault out in NJ because somewhere along the lines I did something that made him think to crash the acr in the future....If my father burned the rice, my fault because he was on the phone with me, etc.

She will look at my outfit and say 'Oh........' and the pause will drag out for an eon.

My mom is very sweet but very judemental

My favorite right now: 'How are you feeling? Are you feeling better than yesterday? On a scale of 1 to 10, how do you feel?' Yes, all in that order.

Or I tell my mother that I am going to a physician and she assumes whatever ailment I have is a grave disease. Mom, I sprained my ankle. I am not going to need an amputation.

Tells me my dad is not feeling well and asks me for a half hour if I think he is going to be okay.

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Posted by vmystique33

- when I was 16 she got so hammered at a friends christmas party she made out with Santa ( the hosts friend)

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That is f*cking fantastic. I think I love your mom.

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Posted by carolinebr

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Posted by vmystique33

- when I was 16 she got so hammered at a friends christmas party she made out with Santa ( the hosts friend)

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That is f*cking fantastic. I think I love your mom.

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You can have her !! Im not proud around Christmas time really be able to sing the song 'I saw mommy kissing Santa Clause'

While trying on wedding dresses last year, I was at the skinniest point of my life and as I walk into the waiting room mother dearest announces

'Its so SLIMMING!'

My little sister just shot her a look that said 'RUDE RUDE RUDE'.

talks to me like I am three
says 'Awwww' whenever I tell her ANYTHING
always tells me I look 'tired'

My Mom totally does the pimple thing!!!! 'why is your face breaking out....you should make an appointment with the dermatologist....stop touching your face'

'Devon, your hair is to flat at the top...do something with it, it's just sitting on your head' Really Mom....what would you like me to do with this curly mop!

'Why do you put all that crap in your hair' b/c if I didn't it would be a frizzy ENORMOUS mess.

'Matt should have a sport jacket on' 'Matt should have a tie on' 'Why is Matt's shirt untucked' LOL those are my favorite!!!!!

'Devon....why do you always layer your shirts...just stop'

I will say My Mom has never said anything to me about my weight....My Dad did once though....I got off the plane for the first time after being away at school my freshman year and my dad says right after hello ' Wow, your face looks a little rounder' That was a RUDE awakening lol.....I did gain the freshman 15 though, it was not good!

you girls are cracking me up!!

My mom annoys with me the QUESTIONS...endless mindless questions....

And STUPID questions at that!

Like, when I bought my house- I don't know how many times she asked 'So are you happy with the house?' 'Are you glad you bought the house?' YES, MOM! Is my answer gonna change with each question?!

or after getting married...

'so are you happy that you're married?'

Its always the same damn question anytime something NEW happens in my life!

I know this seems miniscule in comparison but it makes me NUTS!!

It's not only these types of questions....she's just full of them and at the worst times. Especially when I just wake up and I don't wanna talk to anyone!