In a quandary...sorry for the anonymity
I have an a situation that is really bothering me...advice please.
A relative of mine is getting married in a couple of weeks. Its about a 2 hour drive to the wedding. The wedding starts at 11am on a Sunday and DH and I planned to just leave early that morning, and go.
My grandmother (she is 89) is insisting that we stay over the night before, b/c we have family coming in from Seattle, and it is important that we spend time with them, etc. These same relatives came to my own wedding......but did not bring their husbands or kids, yet they were all invited. However, they are bringing their whole families to this wedding. (the relationship they have with this bride is the same that they have with me).
Anyway, we kindly told my grandmother that we would NOT BE SPENDING THE NIGHT. I just don't want to! I don't want to make this wedding the whole weekend long.
Well, my grandmother went and booked us a room! I told her NO and she said that she wants to give it to us as a gift/pay for it b/c she feels it is important that we all spend time together. DH feels that we should honor her request to go.....but NOT let her pay for our room. We can pay our own room. She explained to him that she is 89 and wants to spend her money with us while she is here, not gone, and she wants to pay for the room.
I feel like a child being coersed into staying overnight when I don't want to. I further feel like a child having her pay for us. I understand that I am lucky to have such a generous grandmother, but on the other hand I'm a grown adult and don't like being forced into anything over guilt.
A few days later now, my husband says he understands my grandmother's point of view, and says that if it's going to give her pleasure to give us a hotel room for an important occasion, we should let her do it...it makes her feel good.
He also said to just 'rise above' the negative feelings I have about the members of our family who are coming in for this wedding, but didn't come in for ours....
Should we stay overnight to make her happy? It will also be more convenient, I suppose. OR, should I go with my pride and NOT stay. I really don't want to. Yet if I don't I'll feel guilty. I HATE THIS
Advice please.
A relative of mine is getting married in a couple of weeks. Its about a 2 hour drive to the wedding. The wedding starts at 11am on a Sunday and DH and I planned to just leave early that morning, and go.
My grandmother (she is 89) is insisting that we stay over the night before, b/c we have family coming in from Seattle, and it is important that we spend time with them, etc. These same relatives came to my own wedding......but did not bring their husbands or kids, yet they were all invited. However, they are bringing their whole families to this wedding. (the relationship they have with this bride is the same that they have with me).
Anyway, we kindly told my grandmother that we would NOT BE SPENDING THE NIGHT. I just don't want to! I don't want to make this wedding the whole weekend long.
Well, my grandmother went and booked us a room! I told her NO and she said that she wants to give it to us as a gift/pay for it b/c she feels it is important that we all spend time together. DH feels that we should honor her request to go.....but NOT let her pay for our room. We can pay our own room. She explained to him that she is 89 and wants to spend her money with us while she is here, not gone, and she wants to pay for the room.
I feel like a child being coersed into staying overnight when I don't want to. I further feel like a child having her pay for us. I understand that I am lucky to have such a generous grandmother, but on the other hand I'm a grown adult and don't like being forced into anything over guilt.
A few days later now, my husband says he understands my grandmother's point of view, and says that if it's going to give her pleasure to give us a hotel room for an important occasion, we should let her do it...it makes her feel good.
He also said to just 'rise above' the negative feelings I have about the members of our family who are coming in for this wedding, but didn't come in for ours....
Should we stay overnight to make her happy? It will also be more convenient, I suppose. OR, should I go with my pride and NOT stay. I really don't want to. Yet if I don't I'll feel guilty. I HATE THIS
Advice please.
