inlaw problems

Hi Married Ladies,

I recently got in an argument with the in-laws, for some reason they are under impression that i should take their insults and bite my lips and not answer back! But, i tend to answer back to them and they hate it. Have anyone encounter this problem and how do you deal with it?


just to clarify: when i say answering back, i meant to say that don't like when i defend myself.

PLEASE DON'T QUOTE ME! I WILL BE DELETING THIS SOON.

well its a little difficult to understand exactly what you mean--cause 'answering back' when you feel they insult you could be interpreted so many ways. are you being downright nasty back to them or are you just saying 'well i don't see it that way' or are you saying 'i'd appreciate it if you didn't say that to me' etc. i'm not sure what they say to you and how you retaliate back...that makes a big difference, since alot of times its about context and tone vs. what you are saying.

when it comes to ILs i think the golden rule is that the spouse whose parents are being a problem...should be the one to handle things. if they are being rude and such to you--your DH should be the one addressing the issue. i've told my DH what i don't like that my ILs might say to me--and he's told them when i'm not around about it--and it wasn't talked about again since.

sometimes its all about choosing your battles. would you rather be RIGHT or would you rather be HAPPY? sure if your ILs make a snide comment it might annoy or p*ss you off--but is it worth snapping back and letting them know you aren't gonna take it and putting your DH in the middle, just to prove you are right....or should you just take note of what is said and then when you are alone with DH, let him know that you don't appreciate it and since you didn't want to cause a fight...you are telling him about it?

like i said--i don't know your exact situation...but if its something like a silly snide comment...maybe better to let it go at that moment and not let it get to you. but if they are being downright rude and calling you names and being seriously disrespectful--then that might be something different and perhaps addressed by your DH and you with them.

I deal with any issues we have with my family and he deals with any issues we have with his.

So far - he's had to do a lot of dealing...