is anyone else bothered by

the Mr. & Mrs HusbandName LastName addressing.

I willingly changed my last name, but why does that mean I lose my first name too? I don't mind Mr & Mrs R... or Lisa & Al R...

But I HATE the Mr. & Mrs Alfred R...

Is it just me?

I don't mind having things addressed that way. I know that right now people are doing it to be cute since we are newlyweds. I know that they all know my first name. Junk mail just gets tossed anyway, so I don't care if that's addressed Mr. & Mrs. Hisfirstname.

Come to think of it, most of the mail I get is addressed as Vicki Hislastname from credit cards and phone bills and such. The only thing we've been getting as Mr. & Mrs. Hisfirstname have been invitations.

I don't get it that much. I get Lt. BXXXXXX's wife.
It's kinda annoying but that's what I married him for.

How come it bothers you? Isn't that the way you addressed your wedding invites

No, Lisa, you're not the only one!

I am fine, even honored, with taking my husband's last name...but I am not giving up my first name!!

At our reception, I insisted both of our first names be used when we were introduced for the first time as husband and wife. Some of our older relatives thought it unusual.

When/how did this 'tradition' originate? I'm ready to put an end to it!

Hey Lisa ... great question of the day! I was thinking about posting a similar type question.

I had ... am still having ... a hard time with this whole name change. The Mr. & Mrs. doesn't bother me so much since it's usually only addressed that way to us via mail. But my return address labels are our first names and last name.

However, the changing my last name period was the hardest for me to adjust to. Actually, I've been married for over 6 months and as of yesterday, I changed my name at work. And after it's all done and changed, I feel like this big piece of me is missing!

Although, I'm honored to take my husband's name ... at the same time I feel like I am losing a little of me and my ethnicity. Not to mention that my last name changed from 9 letters to 3!

But we discussed this whole name change before and I wanted to take his name ... I just didn't realize how hard it really would be!

Yes!!! I don't mind taking his last name but I didn't lose my first name by getting married! That is why I made sure the DJ announced us as Gary and Stacey XXXX not Mr. and Mrs. Gary XXXXX. It probably will be a never ending annoyance because I see this all the time.

How about hate being called Mam? I despise that.

It drives me nuts! It totally makes me feel like I lost my identity...like I am property. I took his last name (I am also having a very hard time adjusting to this...changed it legally but not in the office) but I am not taking his first name.

I too insisted we were introduced using both first names and will never sign anything Mr and Mrs HisFirstName OurLastName. I either both both or no first name. (My address labels also have both first names.) I even had such a hard time addressing my invites to couples that way. I wound up doing it because it looked funny on the envelope any other way .

Most people understand why it upsets me but my MIL gets upset whenever I correct people or say how I feel. She is just old fashioned. I also hate that she says I am know her nationality now! I say only thru marriage and smile (but that upsets her too!). She loves saying that to me and I think it is really because it bothers her that I am not the same nationality (she has this Italian superiority thing and I am not Italian!! Nothing wrong with being Italian but I am NOT, accept it!)..but that is another story.

DH doesn't really understand how changing my name that I had for 30 years is very difficult...it is hard losing a big piece of your identity.

I guess we have not been in any setting yet where we were referred to as such. AT our reception I made sure our DJ used my name and hubby's name. I do not like the idea that I am no longer there it would seem. I am now Mrs Roger *****

I totally agree - it really bothers me to get something addressed to Mr. and Mrs. Steven XXXXXX - what about me???

I am a bit irrational about it I told my friends and family that any mail adressed that way I would throw out! So, jokers that they are, addressed Christmas cards Mr and Mrs Steven XXXXX (this includes Jeanene)!

I'm not changing my name, I hyphenated it at work. I have lots of 'issues' w/ the name thing.
1st my maiden name is 3 letters & catchy, my 1st & last name are sort of 1 name. My husbands name is lovely but sort of rhymes w/ my first name.
My husbands ex-wife has kept his last name(they divorced 7 years ago), my son has my maiden name & I don't want him to be the odd ball out.
I made CD's as favor for our holiday open house & I worded it 'made espesially for you by the
F**-G******** family. I think Rich was a little weirded out by that. My Aunt got us an adorable snowman plaque but it says the G*******'s & has each of our names on a snowman.......I'm not really comfortable with that. I don't know how to order our return address labels-we're not the G******** family, are we?

What do you guys think?

I don't really mind about my first name not being included....I was more upset about changing my name.
I completely agree with being united with the same name, I just really didn't want to lose my maiden name I changed it just about everywhere, and it's definitely been an adjustment.

Kelly, maybe since you do have kids involved and the fact that your husband's ex-wife still kept his last name, hyphenating is the best way to go? I see that as 2 separate families joining as a whole new family with a new hyphenated happy name??

Richsbride .... a difficult situation, especially with kids involved. What about using your first names for your plaque ... Kelly & Rich's family ... or something like that. I like the hypenated name idea also.

edited to say:
As for me, I wasn't really bothered by the Mr & Mrs hisfirstname thing at the wedding, I thought of it as more of a formality than anything, but I understand how its a huge issue. Our return addresses just say The P********'s for now. As soon as I get a chance, I'll order the ones w/ our first names.

It bothers me too.. especially since he HATES his father, (dh's dad ran out on them when he was like 5 and hasnt seen or heard from him since) his dad didnt support them financially or emotionaly at all.. and my dad is like DH's dad or at least thats what DH always says, he also says hes like the only father hes ever known.,. so why the hell did i take the last name of some man who we will never know!! i think we should of taken my last name, but for some reason i think he was embarrassed to do that.. oh well, nothing i can do about it now!! its still a mans world!!!

I like your response michele31 . Sounds like something I would tell Lou!

glad I'm not the only one.

This was a problem for me when I was addressing wedding invitations. For my friends and younger folks, I used both first names. For the older generation that takes pride in being recognized by their husband, I used the husband's name. We were introduced as Lisa & Al X, at the reception and our return address labels have both our names.

On the invite itself, I wanted to use my mom and dad's name, but my mom only wanted the Mr & Mrs Dad's name thing.

Guess its a matter of personal preference. It doesn't help that AL's a junior, so everytime I see Mr. & Mrs. Alfred X - I think his parents.

I guess its just a way of trying to hold on to my identity a little bit. I had no problem changing my name, and didn't feel bad about it at all. I know its a customary way of addressing, I just think its antiquated and I don't like it.