Is it stupid to freak out?

pinkgirl Posted: Apr 11, 2005 12:09 PM

Is it stupid to freak out?

My husband's friend called and asked if he wanted to go on a weekend scuba diving trip to the bahamas (in the summer.) They both like scuba diving, I am not into that kind of thing. Anyway, I am totally against it. I don't trust this friend (I think he's a potential cheater) and I don't want my husband in that environment without me around. I am stressing over it so much! What do you think?

nov04LIbride Posted: Apr 11, 2005 12:12 PM

Re: Is it stupid to freak out?

Well, I would resent my husband for spending that much $$$$ on a vacation without me--we have so little extra money that I like to spend it on US and our together vacations.

As for the cheating...If you trust your DH completely, it shouldn't matter what situation he finds himself in. If you worry that he would cheat, given this opportunity with this friend and the fact that you would never find out, I think that is bad. What you are saying in essence is that you don't trust your DH--without trust, what is a marriage?

So I voted no, but more for the $ issue than the cheating/bad influence friend issue.

RedHead Posted: Apr 11, 2005 12:14 PM

Re: Is it stupid to freak out?

Posted by nov04LIbride

Well, I would resent my husband for spending that much $$$$ on a vacation without me--we have so little extra money that I like to spend it on US and our together vacations.

As for the cheating...If you trust your DH completely, it shouldn't matter what situation he finds himself in. If you worry that he would cheat, given this opportunity with this friend and the fact that you would never find out, I think that is bad. What you are saying in essence is that you don't trust your DH--without trust, what is a marriage?

So I voted no, but more for the $ issue than the cheating/bad influence friend issue.

i agree!

shamrock12472 Posted: Apr 11, 2005 12:16 PM

Re: Is it stupid to freak out?

The only thing that would bother me is me not getting to go! However, I wouldn't give my DH a problem if that is something that he wanted to do. He works hard and deserves to indulge in things he enjoys. As far as cheating, a friend isn't going to make or stop your DH from cheating if that is something he is going to do.

lilmrs Posted: Apr 11, 2005 12:32 PM

Re: Is it stupid to freak out?

Why can't you go and just hang on the beach?
That way you can still have dinners together and such.

JimmysBride Posted: Apr 11, 2005 12:46 PM

Re: Is it stupid to freak out?

Well, if it were me, even if I hated scuba diving (but I don't), I would go and like someone else said, just hang on the beach then meet up with DH for a dinner or two or something like that.

It really depends on what kind of trip it is. If it is a 'boys weekend' trip... well, I think that when you get married those days are over to a certain extent. Taking 'those kinds' of vacations with the single boys is not really appropriate after you are married, IMO. I know that's how my DH feels about it if it were me so the same rule then applies to him.

Is this friend single, married, or at least seriously dating someone? I can understand not trusting certain friends and the element they will bring to your husband. It doesn't mean that you don't trust your husband, it means that you don't appreciate certain situations this 'friend' is likely to put your husband in. And I see nothing wrong with that.

I would discuss your biggest concerns with your DH and see if he can ease your mind. If not, then YOU take a girlie trip while he is away also.

nov04LIbride Posted: Apr 11, 2005 12:48 PM

Re: Is it stupid to freak out?

Posted by JimmysBride
It really depends on what kind of trip it is. If it is a 'boys weekend' trip... well, I think that when you get married those days are over to a certain extent. Taking 'those kinds' of vacations with the single boys is not really appropriate after you are married, IMO.

I agree with this too. We've both discussed it and that is how we both feel.

Janice Posted: Apr 11, 2005 12:53 PM

Re: Is it stupid to freak out?

DH and I vacation seperately at times simply because of lack of funds or vacation time. If DH is a scuba diver, and I am not, I would hate to waste vacation money and time going on a trip just to go. I will never take off vacation time to go camping, and DH loves it, so he goes with my brothers. DH does not like the idea of my entire neighborhood vacationing together, and I love it, so I go and he stays home. If your DH's scuba trip costs him 600.00, I would so much rather spend 600.00, then 1200 for me to sit on a beach while he is with his friend. If you are worrying about his friend being a bad influence on your DH, then that is a different scenerio all together. I would want to be invited, and then I will decide if I want to go or not, I would be hurt if I wasn't invited.

pinkgirl Posted: Apr 11, 2005 12:54 PM

Re: Is it stupid to freak out?

Well, his friend is married too, but I don't trust him. I do have trust issues but that's just the way I am. I trust him as much as I can, but I don't feel like I can fully trust anyone! I don't care about the $$$ but his friend asked if he wanted to go so they can dive together. He's not bringing his wife. SO my husband can't just say that he's going to bring me. 3's a crowd

lullabella Posted: Apr 11, 2005 01:58 PM

Re: Is it stupid to freak out?

This is really a personal decision. We can't tell you if you are right or wrong since only you know how you are when it comes to things like this. Personally I wouldn't be upset if my DH wanted to go, even with a single friend. That is just me, I would completely trust him.

Good Luck

Blu-ize Posted: Apr 11, 2005 03:45 PM

Re: Is it stupid to freak out?

There are people that I would not want my husband to vacation with. I know what you mean. I think my husband is easily influenced. He wouldn't cheat but he may do something really stupid...

I don't mind if he wants to go on a trip w/o me. The big trips we are together.

suven Posted: Apr 11, 2005 09:25 PM

Re: Is it stupid to freak out?

I wouldn't want him to go- only because of the types of people involved.

Bumsie Posted: Apr 11, 2005 11:12 PM

Re: Is it stupid to freak out?

Posted by Janice

DH and I vacation seperately at times simply because of lack of funds or vacation time. If DH is a scuba diver, and I am not, I would hate to waste vacation money and time going on a trip just to go. I will never take off vacation time to go camping, and DH loves it, so he goes with my brothers. DH does not like the idea of my entire neighborhood vacationing together, and I love it, so I go and he stays home. If your DH's scuba trip costs him 600.00, I would so much rather spend 600.00, then 1200 for me to sit on a beach while he is with his friend. If you are worrying about his friend being a bad influence on your DH, then that is a different scenerio all together. I would want to be invited, and then I will decide if I want to go or not, I would be hurt if I wasn't invited.

I agree with this.

wood2be Posted: Apr 12, 2005 11:48 AM

Re: Is it stupid to freak out?

Posted by nov04LIbride

As for the cheating...If you trust your DH completely, it shouldn't matter what situation he finds himself in. If you worry that he would cheat, given this opportunity with this friend and the fact that you would never find out, I think that is bad. What you are saying in essence is that you don't trust your DH--without trust, what is a marriage?

I agree. I have no problem with my husband going away with the boys. My friends and I have girls weekends all the time. We have a mutal trust and I honestly would never worry about him cheating.