DH's brother has not gotten us a xmas gift for the last 10 xmas we have been together. He hasn't even given us a wedding gift. He has a daughter who I said I will get a gift for but DH says we have to get his brother one too. I know its the thought but really we are tight on $ and he never gets us or even DH a gift. Am I mean not to want to give my heard earned $ to get him a gift?
ETA: We have always gotten him a gift, his now exwife, and now two ex step kids, and our niece.
RadiantBride
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I would only get a gift for the kids. If money is tight, I wouldnt sacrifice for him as mean as that sounds.
jaep129
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Posted by RadiantBride
I would only get a gift for the kids. If money is tight, I wouldnt sacrifice for him as mean as that sounds.
Thats what I said. To buy only for out niece. DH thinks thats rude not to buy for his brother. Um his brother is 33 and has not done anything for us or DH.
RadiantBride
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Posted by jaep129
Posted by RadiantBride
I would only get a gift for the kids. If money is tight, I wouldnt sacrifice for him as mean as that sounds.
Thats what I said. To buy only for out niece. DH thinks thats rude not to buy for his brother. Um his brother is 33 and has not done anything for us or DH.
Nope I would stick by your decision and only buy for the kids. If you DH insists then get him something very very small. I dont know maybe its wrong of me but I think Christmas gifts are more for kids. Adults can understand how difficult times are for everyone and no one should get offended.
jessnstu08
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Posted by RadiantBride
I would only get a gift for the kids. If money is tight, I wouldnt sacrifice for him as mean as that sounds.
ITA
lillprincess54
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I would only got the kids, and if he asks then i would just say the economy is crappy and we had to cut back
TrueLoveIn2008
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I have the same issue. DH's brother lives in FL ... we have sent him gifts in the past but he never sends us one -- and we didn't get a wedding gift from him either. (my in laws paid for his ticket up here and he stayed at our place ... he has a decent job and his own apt, not sure why he can't get us a $50 gift....) We got him a few small things on the honeymoon - beer cozy and bottle opener - and that's his christmas gift this year. Sorry, I am cutting back. Why should I spend $25 on someone who isn't going to appreciate it?
jaep129
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Thank you! This is what I said. He is an adult. I only want to get for our niece not him! That is what I am going to do!
lizzie217
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Only get the kids gifts...sounds like he isnt into giving so why should he get?
MrsQ-in2007
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Sounds like you guys have been generous over the years. I had a similar situation and we decided last year that Christmas is just for the kids. Sorry. We still get gifts for my parents and DH's parents, but that's it for adults.
I would only buy for his child and not get him something. Honestly, it's not about giving something to get something in return, but it seems like some people do not take others into consideration so you have to reach a point where you cut them off.
twinkle164
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Just the kid. That is all I would get. Money is tight all around. Adults should understand. That is without even taking into consideration him not giving you anything. Add that in and it's an overwhelming, 'just teh kid' ;)
catsgirl
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do not buy him a gift, buy for his daughter ONLY.... he is grown and if money is tight he does not need it. I know buy him a FRUIT CAKE......
bettybcafe82
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HELL NO! Only give a gift to the kids...screw that...Im sorry..that just pisses me off..and if money is tight then more the reason not to give him a gift
BunnyBears
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I am surprised your dh has not gotten the point. if all these years you have been giving and not receiving that is a sign that this person does NOT want a gift. He'll be relieved not to get something this year.
MsPotterhead
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Posted by RadiantBride
Posted by jaep129
Posted by RadiantBride
I would only get a gift for the kids. If money is tight, I wouldnt sacrifice for him as mean as that sounds.
Thats what I said. To buy only for out niece. DH thinks thats rude not to buy for his brother. Um his brother is 33 and has not done anything for us or DH.
Nope I would stick by your decision and only buy for the kids. If you DH insists then get him something very very small. I dont know maybe its wrong of me but I think Christmas gifts are more for kids. Adults can understand how difficult times are for everyone and no one should get offended.
ITA
Cutechef729
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Posted by MrsQ-in2007
Sounds like you guys have been generous over the years. I had a similar situation and we decided last year that Christmas is just for the kids. Sorry. We still get gifts for my parents and DH's parents, but that's it for adults.
I would only buy for his child and not get him something. Honestly, it's not about giving something to get something in return, but it seems like some people do not take others into consideration so you have to reach a point where you cut them off.
Well said!
MCA1180
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heck no! i think it's rude of him to expect a gift when he has never given you a gift.... plus giving his daughter a gift is kinda the same as giving him a gift lol she's part of him right?
ahh it's late pay no mind lol i gotta get to bed
wundmoretime
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we are only buying for the kids on my side and DH side we are doing kids plus a grab bag. We started that a few years ago and it works good. There are 8 'kids'-4 brothers and thier wives/girlfriend. We each pick a name and spend $50 on them. We also buy for the parents.
