Do you girls all have joint accounts now with DH? We merged our accounts when we got engaged so we could save for the wedding. Now we are married and we were talking the other night about the bills and the holidays. He was saying he hates it now because since I do all the bills I know what was taken from the bank, he feels like if he goes to buy me something I will know. How do you girls do or deal with this? We are in the midst of trying to bring our debt down from the wedding so having our own accounts would be hard because we are paying everything together. I am wondering if when we get to a comfortable place maybe we should also open up our own accounts as well?? How do you all do it????
shopaholic07
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I have my own checking account and a joint account with DH. We each have our own credit cards but I pay both of them so I see what's getting charged, lol. I don't think there's a way around it though.
LauraD419
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We have joint accounts. We still have our personal accounts but only because we haven't had a chance to close them yet. We think of it as 'our money' as much as possible.
kristi313
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well if you just pay cash for the gifts then you won't know where you both shopped for gifts. you could also set a $$ limit that way when X amount of $$ is taken out neither one of you is curious as to why
we've had joint accounts for awhile - it's just easier
GinaZ
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He is on my account. But he still has his own. I still control mine that he is apart of, and when we have more money it we will probably treat it more as a joint account. But right now we tend to use our own.
emomma17
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Yeah see i just don't think there is a way around it, I take care of all the bills and having both incomes into the account is just easier to pay everything. I think the whole cash idea is a good one for the gifts. I also think he has a hard time if he takes out money and I notice it and ask him...I know I shouldn't ask him because it makes him feel like he is being watched but when we are trying to save and pay off bills sometimes I can't control myself but i know I have to...
betani
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we have a joint and honestly even though i keep track of the bills i wouldn't notice if dh bought me something (unless it was a few hundred dollars which is out of the question right now) b/c he still uses the account to go grocery shopping, buy lunch, etc.
if your dh is worried though, maybe he can open a seperate savings/checking accounts just for things like gift buying, etc.
yelley77
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Re: Joint or No Joint
We have a joint checking and savings. Then I have my own checking and savings and he has his own checking and savings. Both of our checks go into our joint account and then we each get an allowance from that account so that we can buy each other gifts, or buy ourselves something...
Dougs Girl
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We have a joint checking account and a joint savings. Then we each have our own savings account. We also have a joint credit card and I also have my own credit card. But, do all the banking anyway.
Dee0522
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Our checking and savings accounts are both joint, but we both still have our own credit cards. So for things like gifts, we don't have a problem. We each pay off our cards ourselves, but it's coming from 'our' money anyway.
SB7308
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All of our accounts are together.
If he doesnt want you know what he spends then let him pay cash. DH has bought gifts for me and I've seen the price b/c I do the bills. Its no big deal to me.
futuremrsfab
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we have a joint savings account & checking account and then we each have a small account for our own personal expenses- I didnt think he should pay for my shoe habit & I dont want to pay for his paintball addiction.
DH also has money issues- when he was younger an aunt stole his money- so he needs time to adjust to sharing an account
sophisticat13
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We opened a joint account and debit card account after the wedding, and we pay household expenses from it (LIPA, food etc). We also have our own checking and savings accounts right now. When I buy gifts for DH or he buys gifts for me we pay for them out of our own accounts so neither sees it.
emomma17
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This is all really helpful ladies I appreciate you sharing!
MnM52607
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DH and I have a joint account that all household expenses get paid out of. Then we have our own accounts for our car bills and credit card bills. We have a joint credit card and each have our own credit cards too. This works for us.
zoe282
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Right now we have joint accounts and separate accounts and I use my personal account to get DH's presents so he can't what I spent. I think even though it's both of your money its good to have a little on the side for that very reason. I also have a separate ING savings that he's not linked to for presents like that....don't know if that helps any??
GtBride
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Give him a credit card and just let him pay it so you won't know what he is charging.
KarinAmanda
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here is what we do ... and it seems to work well!
we each have our own checking accounts, our checks get deposited there. we also have a joint checking and a joint savings and we transfer from our accounts to those!
del Rio
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We have had joint accounts for a few years now and when it comes to the holidays/birthdays we each take out a certain amount in cash to spend on each other or just charge it and ask the other not to look at the credit card statement. That is what I did for DHs wedding gift. I had to charge it or use the bank card because it was an online transaction and I just asked him to not look at the bill and it worked.
Sarni80
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My SIL and her fiance do something pretty cute - everytime there's a major holiday or birthday, they have a 'blackout' period where neither one is allowed the check the account for that period of time. Not sure how safe that is, haha, but it seems to work and they don't keep the blackout period on for too long!
