Kind of a morbid question..

Leelee Posted: May 05, 2003 02:37 PM

Kind of a morbid question..

DH and I were at a wake last night for a family member and we started talking about at which point do you create your will, purchase cemetary plots, etc.?
We thought perhaps it varied-like if you had children, a house...
Has anyone taken care of this stuff yet?
Sorry for the downer question...the woman who passed away was quite young and it got me thinking it's better to be prepared.

Sonicstef Posted: May 05, 2003 02:51 PM

Re: Kind of a morbid question..

No I dont have any of that and I dont intend on doing it anytime soon. If anything were to happen to me, everything would automatically go to my husband and I trust he would take care of my funeral arrangement in a way that I would be fine with.

Aside from the will (which I understand if you want to distribute your property among family aside from your husband), I dont really see why doing all of that stuff ahead of time is important. I personally dont think I am going to care where Im buried or what they do with my body after Im dead :D

ChristineC68 Posted: May 05, 2003 02:57 PM

Re: Kind of a morbid question..

Dh and I plan on taking care of this soon as well. I think everyone should have one. You never know what can happen.

Right now, we want to declare what our wishes are for recessitating (spelled way wrong), funeral wishes, etc.

If we have kids, we would ammend it to include guardians for them.

I am not a fan of buying a cemetary plot early because you never know where you will be in the future. I would hate the hassle of getting a refund if we moved, you know what I mean?

I am very sorry about your family member

michele31 Posted: May 05, 2003 02:59 PM

Re: Kind of a morbid question..

I think a Will for non-financial things is very important, and if you have any children it is a MUST. Scott and I will have one drawn up once our baby is born this Fall.
I can say from experience that not stating that you want a certain piece of jewerly or special something to go to XX it can cause a lot of fighting and heartache.
Scott and I have not purchased anything such as a plot but it isn't a dumb idea if you want very specific arrangements made you.

LnP2003 Posted: May 05, 2003 03:00 PM

Re: Kind of a morbid question..

FH and I will probably do this after the kids come around....

Suzanne Posted: May 05, 2003 03:00 PM

Re: Kind of a morbid question..

I think that its very important where they bury me and what they bury me in! I would love to have plots next to each other and I think a will is a VERY good idea.. When it comes to death family comes out of the woodwork... Plus it gives me peice of mind and if it does that for you then you should DEFINATLY do it.

I am not sure that everything automatically goes to your dh if you die... You should have a will to protect him.. thats very important..

and then especially after you have kids!

Leelee Posted: May 05, 2003 03:04 PM

Re: Kind of a morbid question..

Thank you for all the responses--this is definitely giving me a better understanding about timing.
Again, not to be too much of a downer-but if something happens to both of us, I want to be prepared.
My mother passed away without a will and like Michele mentioned, it caused a lot of grief and heartache for a lot of people.

Sassy Posted: May 05, 2003 03:08 PM

Re: Kind of a morbid question..

FH are definitely getting all our things together after the wedding.
We will have our life insurance, and our wills made up. He already has a son, which is very important to the both of us that he gets taken care of, and also we intend to have children in the future.
Aside from that, it is important to us who will be in charge of the arrangements just to make sure at the time of sorrow, there are not family members fighting to take charge, etc. . .
I've seen it happen way to many times.

About money going directly to spouses, that will only occur in the case where you have everything jointly owned or have your spouse named as beneficiary. Otherwise, they will most likely get everything anyway, if the family doesn't protest, but that's after going through probate, which could be timely. So I say it's always best to plan ahead, nothing bad could really come of it.

As for my cemetery plot, I would most likely not do this b/c of the same reason mentioned above, we never know where we wil live, although if I am older, and settled somewhere, this would become more of an option for me.

jcndd Posted: May 05, 2003 03:09 PM

Re: Kind of a morbid question..

I think everyone should have one... what happens if you and DH go together? Who would get what and know what to do with you? JMO

Sonicstef Posted: May 05, 2003 03:10 PM

Re: Kind of a morbid question..

I guess this is more of an issue for those that have substantial assets held in their name. All of our assets are held in joint accounts or with each other as the beneficiary so a will is not a priority for me anytime soon.

teresa518 Posted: May 05, 2003 03:54 PM

Re: Kind of a morbid question..

After a recent family ordeal surrounding wills, I'm more focused on one than I had been in the past. I am truly a believer in making out a will early in life, when you are sure of what you want.

As for cemetery plots, I think we should do this as well but probably not for a few more years. I think once we have children, we will be sure that wills and the like are completed.

julybride444 Posted: May 05, 2003 04:10 PM

Re: Kind of a morbid question..

FH and I did it when we moved in together, along with hefty life insurance policies-esp. for him since he is more of the bread winner. We are getting married in July, but since we aren't married we figured as soon as we put our stuff together we should have a will leaving everything we have to the other. Plus, we have this stuff done in case something happens to both of us.

shamma Posted: May 05, 2003 04:13 PM

Re: Kind of a morbid question..

Leelee, Roger wants us to both do a will, I was a bit apprehensive but I do not see anything wrong with it. My GF here who is 34 started paying for her plot etc. I think it is a great idea, b/c these things can be so costly, you would think the one time you would not be pricey is when you die, even then you are costly. I think especially if you have children it should be something to look into.

Leelee Posted: May 05, 2003 04:37 PM

Re: Kind of a morbid question..

Shamma--my thoughts exactly. I'm positive that the price of plots goes up with inflation. Like I said in my prior post--my mother passed away without a will or any type of plans. However, my parents had purchased their plots before they had children so that was all taken care of.
Again...I apologise for the sorrowful question...

jennbaby Posted: May 05, 2003 04:51 PM

Re: Kind of a morbid question..

John has a life insurance policy, and I have been the beneficary since we were dating for 1 year.

We also plan to have a will made up, in the event of our deaths, I have seen and I am experiencing first hand, heartaches of family not speaking due to money after a death.

None of my family except for my parents & God parents are coming, nor were they invited, to my wedding.
Due to money issues, of a deceased great aunt....sad.

A will is very impt!!

Sonicstef Posted: May 05, 2003 05:05 PM

Re: Kind of a morbid question..

Just wanted to give everyone a little financial tip that i think is overlooked but is really important IMO:

LONG TERM DISABILITY INSURANCE!!

Its usually cheaper than life insurance and so much more important. In the event of an illness unrelated to your job, you will still need your income and be stuck with what measly sum state disability gives you otherwise.

I dont have life insurance but I do have LTD.

jennbaby Posted: May 05, 2003 05:18 PM

Re: Kind of a morbid question..

We both have LTD too, Thank goodness! I agree that is is sooo impt!!!!!

ddunne23 Posted: May 05, 2003 06:21 PM

Re: Kind of a morbid question..

Also on the LTD, it is very important to have if you plan to have kids. Not sure if it is like this for all policies/companies, but if you have LTD you are automatically enrolled in short term disability which pregnancy falls under (at least in my company). Without it you are NOT covered if you take maternity leave. This happened to my BF...she didn't have it, got pregnant and they had to take 6 weeks unpaid for maternity leave.

Jenny5150 Posted: May 05, 2003 07:08 PM

Re: Kind of a morbid question..

While you girls are on 'morbid' topics, some other things you may want to consider are:

-Living Will
-Advance Directives
-Health Care Proxy

natasha Posted: May 05, 2003 08:53 PM

Re: Kind of a morbid question..

My husband and I have talked about some of thing mentioned above,. Unfortunately, we haven't done anything in writing. I have told him if I should die within the next few years, I would like to be buried in NY. We really have to take care of these things this year.