I'm finishing grad school this semester and I'm applying for jobs like crazy but no bites, so I'm thinking about looking outside metro new york. DH already has a stable job, but I told DH that if I got a job outside NY we might have to live apart for about 2 years so I can gain experience and hopefully come back.
What do you ladies think about living apart for 2 years because of work?
DH said he would quit his job and work at walmart so we dont have to live apart. Hes such a great hubby
TheFutureMrsM
Posted:
Member since
Re: Living apart because of work
How far apart are you talking?
Would you maintain separate apartments? or living with a family member?
Mici n KC
Posted:
Member since
Re: Living apart because of work
I could not do that. Why do you think you would need to live apart for 2 years?
wo0shply
Posted:
Member since
Re: Living apart because of work
Posted by TheFutureMrsM
How far apart are you talking?
Would you maintain separate apartments? or living with a family member?
seperate apts, all my family lives in NY. Philly, Boston, Upstate NY not too far from DH but outside NYC and LI
Joette_Terese
Posted:
Member since
Re: Living apart because of work
Considering the economic climate, I think this may make sense. That being said, I could never do it. Consider areas that are within commuting distances from your area but are outside metro NY. I know a few people who commute from areas of PA to Staten Island every day for work.
Good luck, I'm sure it's a tough situation.
wo0shply
Posted:
Member since
Re: Living apart because of work
Posted by Mici n KC
I could not do that. Why do you think you would need to live apart for 2 years?
I'm planning on working in a college and you usually need 2 + years of experience in NY so I was going to get the experience and come back home DH.
So since the job market in NY is so bad right now I was going to look into north eastern schools, the commute would be too crazy.
jaep129
Posted:
Member since
Re: Living apart because of work
My aunt and uncle did that for about 2-3 years and it became to much so my aunt packed the kids up and moved to where my uncle worked. He would fly to Ohio every Sunday night and then back to NY on Friday nights. It was hard but they also had kids. Good luck!
What do you do for work?
wo0shply
Posted:
Member since
Re: Living apart because of work
where do they live if they commute to PA? my friend says theres an express train to philly but I think it would be too expensive to do a commute everyday.
wo0shply
Posted:
Member since
Re: Living apart because of work
Posted by jaep129
My aunt and uncle did that for about 2-3 years and it became to much so my aunt packed the kids up and moved to where my uncle worked. He would fly to Ohio every Sunday night and then back to NY on Friday nights. It was hard but they also had kids. Good luck!
What do you do for work?
wow thats dedication. I'm a part time academic advisor at Hunter.
I would try not to move so far so DH and I could try to see each other as much as possible
jaep129
Posted:
Member since
Re: Living apart because of work
My professor lived in PA and tought at SUNY OldWestbury. There is a train or bus not sure that can take you. What about upstate NY? Or is it all of NY? I live in Woodstock about 2.5 hours from LI. I know so many people who drive or take the train to the city. I am sure you will figure it out and make it work. I wish you the best!
wo0shply
Posted:
Member since
Re: Living apart because of work
Thanks :) I'm hoping not to have to do this but I need to keep my options open.
Joette_Terese
Posted:
Member since
Re: Living apart because of work
Posted by wo0shply
where do they live if they commute to PA? my friend says theres an express train to philly but I think it would be too expensive to do a commute everyday.
They live in PA and commute (drive) to SI. Either way, I can't imagine the cost of commuting being more than having a separate apartment.
futuremrsfab
Posted:
Member since
Re: Living apart because of work
I think it would be hard- but if you are within 2-3 hours of your dh- its not impossible- and it could be fun to visit back and forth and seeing new places, etc..
Good luck with your job search!
RadiantBride
Posted:
Member since
Re: Living apart because of work
Although it would be a necessity I dont think I would be able to do it. I agree with your DH if it meant the person with the higher income moves, I as the other person will work in a fast food place but be together. Especially as NW's to me this time is valuable in setting the foundations for the relationship. Plenty of people commute and if you do the math- paying for two apartments and commuting costs would probably be around the same price. If it was for a short period of time then I would say go for it. Ultimately the decision is between you and your DH. Just giving my 2 cents.
lizzie217
Posted:
Member since
Re: Living apart because of work
First I am so sorry that you are in this situation AT ALL
I could never ever do this. DH actually recently had an offer to help start up his company's Dublin office and he said hell to the no....there is also position in which he would make signifigantly more $$ but would involve a lot of travel that he will not take. We couldn't live apart.
I am so sorry you are faced with this
jtgarsik
Posted:
Member since
Re: Living apart because of work
I know these times call for desparate measures - but honestly I personally wouldn't do it.. BUT everyone is different. With people who can handle it, i do kinda get the fact that it's early on in ur life, ur young - if you're ever gonna do it, now is the time. However, I strongly feel that being available to each other (especially at the beginning of ur marriage) is important. I just about had an oppurtunity to go on a year tour last year which would've been great for my acting career - yes it may have gone by quick - and some people told me i was crazy not to do it...but 1) performing or not, great experience or not - i know i would've been miserable being away and 2) i know it would've effected our marraige..whether u think it will or not, it does in one way or another..even if it's something small, the small things are still substantial..atleast with the marriage that we want to have. Instead, we now have a really strong foundation - and that to me, is more important than any acting career. If he's offering to go with you & work a part-time job, that says a lot...unless it's something where u guys could be together fri-sun, and then during the week u'd do ur thing, i would weigh every single option and leave living apart for the 2years as ur last resort.
lots of
Toucan311
Posted:
Member since
Re: Living apart because of work
It seems like a huge strain to put on a marriage that is brand new. I would never.
Jenn04
Posted:
Member since
Re: Living apart because of work
I personally would not do it either. If it was something temporary, like a few months than maybe.
But why cant you just get a part time job or something on the side until you find work? That is what I would do!
Toucan311
Posted:
Member since
Re: Living apart because of work
What do you want to do at a college? Do you want to teach?
